Tuesday, January 22

Why did you unlike me?

Well won't you look at that, Tuesday has suddenly rolled around again and here were are once more with the bloggy loving that is #IBOT.

What's that?

You are new here and you have never heard of #IBOT!
Well grab your beverage of choice, settle in and put your feet up and I will tell you all about the joys of #IBOT while I ease the troubles within that I have this fine day.


Hosted by the ever lovely EssentiallyJess, #IBOT stands for I Blog On Tuesday and withoutis one of the most popular linky's in the Australian blogosphere. It is an open topic meme with the only requisite really being that the post you link up is fresh off the publish button that Tuesday.

The greatest thing about it though is the comment love and sense of community. It is also a great way to discover some great posts. Doing the rounds of #IBOT posts each week really feels like spending time with friends. Warm, caring and obviously sharing kind of friends, united by the love of blogging. Bloggy buddies if you will.

Some of my bloggy buddies have even sent Facebook friend requests to me. Which was kind of lovely. It meant that when I logged into the blog's Facebook page the number of friends that liked me jumped up. Well, went up by one. Which of course is always a nice feeling. As superficial and silly as it may be there are times when I am all about the numbers. Well not all about the numbers, but I would be lying if I said they didn't matter.

Because they do.

And as lovely as it is to see that number go up it is twice as awful to see it go down. As I did just recently. My numbers are all fairly stagnant, which is fine, I am may not be gaining at vast knots but at least I am not losing either. So when I do lose someone I notice.

Generally I can never be too sure who I lose, as there are hundreds of possibilities, only this time I do. You know because they are friend and all, so that kind of narrow's it down.

The questions I put to you dear reader is,

should I

  1. confront my supposed blogging buddy and ask them why, when they know only too well what the fickle land of Facebook likers is like, they unliked my page,

    or
     
  2. should I take the more drastic measure of just cutting my losses and defriending them altogether and forgetting it ever happened
Anyway now that is out in the open let's get back to reading some awesome posts. Just click the button below

64 comments:

  1. It's a toughie, as I'd be curious as well. I'd be of the opinion let bygones be bygones. I attempt not to get sidetracked by who does or does not like - I just appreciate the fact there's a few likes on my page. Maybe it's because I do see it as such a fickle world that I'm pretty sure is hard to tame.

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    1. Yep I am with you on the whole I try not to pay it any attention to it, but it is just that she is a blogger as well so of all the people it sort of surprised me cause I thought she got it

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  2. That indeed is a tough one.
    I'm in a situation where a friend just does not respond to any comment or direct message I send them (and I KNOW they are on FB). Good luck with whatever decision you make!

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    1. Thanks Nathan, your situation seems even tougher!

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  3. I think I'd have a look and see if they "unliked" a bunch of other pages, too? To be honest, I have MOST of the pages I've liked hidden, because it makes it that much harder to get through my feed quickly. Maybe it doesn't mean they're not still following your blog, but they are trying to simplify FB? Or maybe it means their child was playing on the computer and accidentally hit a button - it can happen! You've no idea the things Nick has deleted from my computer! Big hugs lovey, it's a crap situation when you realise someone has unliked/defriended you. xo

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    1. I do know that since unliking me they have also unliked another bloggy buddy's page, only because they told me it happened to them as well (which I must admit is what gave me the gumption to actually post this) I am not actually going to go and spend any more time on it, just getting it out there already feels like enough

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  4. I wouldn't worry about it, I often do a cull on Facebook friends - and rate it by how often I talk, or when I last saw the person. It's nothing against the people, it just helps simplify my brain as FB can get VERY overwhelming. I noticed I lost a few likers the other day, but since I never post there, I couldn't let myself get upset - ha ha! Hugs to you xxxx

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    1. I am not actually worried about it, it just ticked me off. I totally get how overwhelming FB can be and have a lot of pages hidden from my own feed, but I don't go and unlike pages so much any more, not when I can just hide them and then every one is happy!

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  5. if you confront them it makes it a much bigger deal then it really is? you think?
    I don't 'like' many pages on fb cos they annoy me :) I use facebook for connecting with my friends and family, blogger is for blogs.
    I still read your blog x

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    1. Awe thanks Lisa, so glad you stopped by. I have to agree that confrontation about it all is not really my preferred option. In fact writing this post is more than enough, it is out of my system. It is not really a big deal, I just had to find some way of letting them know, if you know what I mean

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  6. I don't know what advice to give you. When I started blogging I invested time in trying to build a facebook following, but with FB algorithms limiting who sees what, I decided to spend that time writing better/more frequent posts.
    I'm hopeful if I build it, they will come!
    Good luck making your decision!

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    1. Yes Facebook doesn't actually do a whole lot for me, being such a tiny fish and all, but it is handy to have I think, according to my stats a few people do stop by here from there so it can't be all lost. I agree with the whole build and they will come as well, just some days they come oh so slowly don't they (said the most impatient person ever!)

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  7. I wouldn't invest too much thought into it. Facebook is a funny place. Maybe it happened by accident?
    After reading this post though, I realised that I wasn't liking your page on Facebook. Just did! X

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    1. I was going with the whole accident thing till I heard that another blogging buddy noticed that the same thing had happened to her. Facebook sure is a funny thing. lol about not liking the page! Thanks for joining in.

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  8. It's hard. I don't spend a lot of time on FB and every now and again I would do a big cull based on how much interaction I have had with people. Since I learned how to hide feeds (or whatever they are called) I have been able to bring what I see to a reasonable level.
    Hope you don't let this stop you posting in future !!
    Have a great day !
    Me

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    1. It most certainly will not stop me from posting. I do get the whole fickelness of FB but it is just that she is still a personal friend, just not liking my page, which is kinda feels a bit weird since she is a blogger that is all about having heaps of likers on her page. Never mind though.

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  9. It is a tough call indeed. I used to get quite stressed about numbers and still can at times but I have also figured, you can't win everyone. Perhaps they did unlike your page by accident or facebook has unliked it for them, have heard of strange things on FB.
    I'm sure you will do what feels right :) All the best xx

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    1. Thanks Sadeen, I am not stressed so much as intrigued by it all. Posting about it is my way of moving on. It is done and dusted now

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  10. Yes, as everyone else has said... a tough one. I think you are right to leave things be. I tend to more have the opposite problem from the point of view of a liker. I like so many pages etc, that I often tend to miss important things because I am scrolling through so much each time I get on Facebook. Think I might need to do some "hiding".

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    1. Yeah it is all so tough. Finding a balance is never easy. Hiding is a great option but taking the time to create interest lists is a great idea as well.

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  11. Me too! I lost both GFC and Facebook likers recently, but I don't know who. On pondering, I came to a few conclusions.
    1. Perhaps they were followers who followed so I would follow back, and waited until I wouldn't notice to drop me?
    2. Perhaps they were family members who followed to support and now don't feel they need to because my numbers are up and they're not really interested anyway?
    3. Perhaps I wrote something offensive.
    If it's number 3, whatever, I don't write to please. If it's number 1, how rude! If it's number 2, then... hmm... I'd probably want to ask why. But (in your case) it could possibly be a system error? I know I've been 'unliked' from pages that I previously followed and couldn't figure out how.

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    1. I like your way of thinking Kelly. On the whole it doesn't really bother me other than the fact that this is an active friend who always likes my personal links yet unlikes my actual page??? Made worse only by the fact she herself is a blogger with a page and is all about getting lots of likes.

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  12. I'm at a loss with this one
    It makes no sense really
    Liking a page on FB is a good thing, brings you the information (if FB plays nice) and the bloggy page has growing numbers to be happy about
    Why you would go as far as unliking a page - goes beyond me?
    Are you sure something crazy hasn't happened in FB land?

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    1. Who knows Josefa, who really knows? All seems pretty crazy to me actually

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  13. I'd like to know the answer to this one too... But I think I'm far too shy to ask the person why she unliked me...

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    1. Yes I don't think I will ever actually be able to ask her either

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  14. I'd just defriend them and forget about it. No use losing sleep over it. Maybe it's like the old twitter thing some peeps do where they befriend hundreds to then unfollow once people follow back? Thereby always seeming more popular.. Always a possibility in any fickle social media tool.

    Take care :)

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    1. Thanks lovely, I am not losing sleep over it but I can't help but wonder what her reasoning is behind it. I am struggling with the accident possibility, though I really want it to be the case.

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  15. Tough. If they're a close enough friend that it hurts, just ask why. Without accusation or guilt-tripping. And accept whatever answer you get, even if it sounds fake. I don't think FB is worth the stress. Good luck.

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    1. Yep sure is. They are not a close friend at all, just a fellow blogger, which is kind of why I am perplexed by it all

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  16. It's a tough one. Knowing what I know, they definitely did deliberately, and its beyond rude since they have invested so much time in building their own fan base.

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    1. Yep it really is hard to think it is accidentally, just can't think why they would though

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  17. I wouldn't bother myself. But I agree with Jess, very rude of them.

    I have heaps of blogs I follow on FB, so it does make my feed very busy. But I just have groups, and so I can click on my different groups to read friends/family, and then I have the blogging ones in a group.

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    1. Yep the group thing is a great feature, a pain to set up but a great idea and a wonderful way to control what you see

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  18. Not that I would do it to you but you dont have to unlike you can just hide their posts. That way if you find their blog isn't for you, your still helping them out.

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    1. Yep that is what I think as well Annaleis. Or put it in a group list that you never look at.

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  19. Hello, I think that people get totally overwhelmed, and this is a time of year to cull. I feel that, I need to cull my Twitter and Google Reader or I will explode.

    Not to be taken too seriously, and if you don't 'retaliate' you'll be a better person for not doing so, sez I!

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    1. yes you are right Seana, not to be taken seriously at all and I am not going to retaliate but I just had to put it out here. My way of letting go and moving on

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  20. I'm glad writing this out has helped you out Rhianna. I try not to care about who likes or doesn't like my page. Sure, when the numbers go down you want to know why but you are better off moving on and keep on doing what you are doing. There are so many of us who are here to stay!

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    1. Honestly other than getting excited when I get a new like I don't pay it much attention at all. It is just that this is a fellow blogger and one that I thought was supportive. Thanks for dropping by lovely, I really appreciate your support

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  21. I don't see what benefit they would get from unliking, why not just hide? I have to say that i'm not on FB nearly as much any more, and don't really miss it so much. Would rather enjoy lovely blogs x

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    1. Yep I don't really spend much time there, but I have found that it is a great way to stay in touch with the blogs I like

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  22. Can you ask them? Is that too much? (ie I am asking the etiquette). As it's upset you, I'd ask before I unliked their page, but really if it was me, I'd let it slide, higher road and all that...

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    1. I just don't know the etiquette here either Lydia, you know other than just not unliking your friend's page. This will be the only action I take. I am fairly certain that she would have read this, so it was my way of saying I know what you did without actually saying it to her

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  23. It may have been a slip when they were adding you to a list... I did that a few times and didn't notice straight away

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    1. Maybe Victoria, I really hope that is the case, I don't like thinking ill of others

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  24. I wonder if it was an accident? If not then you really don't want them being privy to your McAwesome life anyway and it's there loss!!!! You rock and so does your blog, up their bum with a rubber bung I say (now that is offensive) Emily @ Have a laugh on me

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    1. Lol Emily, you always make me giggle! Thanks for stopping by lovely, I do hope it was an accident but I guess we will never know. And at this stage she is still privy to my McAwesome life just not my McAwesome blog! She still wants to be FB friends just not like my page

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  25. I'm terrible hon, I wouldn't take it personally. I'd shrug and leave it be.
    Facebook has spack attacks so often I just ignore the glitches... and play pretty ignorant on numbers.
    Darn it, I have almost 900 people on my personal page (looooong story) but only 200 and something on my blog one. Perhaps I should care more about being in the spotlight too? Oops! Only just check my blog stats today - it's been at least 3 months...
    xxXOoo

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    1. No you can't have the spotlight, it is all mine!!!! Mine mine mine I tell you. Actually it is more like a little candle than at spotlight!
      900 friends that is impressive, I think I have 150 or something and 40 of those like my page. I guess the thing that has really got me about it all is that she is a fellow blogger, but hey I am not losing sleep over it

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  26. I agree with Seana. People just cull sometimes and I don't think it should be taken personally. I think defriending them back would be drastic.
    My numbers go up then go down. Meh. I have far more important things to worry about.

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    1. Thanks to FBLS my numbers have suddenly jumped up which is just lovely so a big thank you for hosting that one. I am certainly not worried about it as such just intrigued, I had hoped that by writing this she asked who I was referring to so then it would all turn out to be a big misunderstanding but that is quite how it has panned out

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  27. Hello!!! I recently ditched my personal fb page and started a new one purely for page management and following blogs on. I'd hate be so vein as to think/worry that it was me, but likewise if it was (because I imagine there are other dear bloggers who's pages I no longer like because I don't have the account anymore) I'd hate for you to think that it was a deliberate dislike!! I'm slowly working my way through and liking pages with my new account and I do like yours... So it's probably not me... But I'm terribly paranoid all the same!! Anyways, I love your blog :) mwah xx

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    1. Lovely Jenn rest assured that I am by no means at all referring to you here. Though I did see you recently like the page and I did wonder what that was about, now I know! Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses lovely I was so touched you were so concerned it was you

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  28. That is a tough one. I try not to pay attention to my numbers or which of my friends like my page, although, the 'invite' function means I can often have people pop up that I thought had already liked me and it does sting, no matter how much I would like to rise above.
    I think, if I wasn't really interacting with this 'friend' and they had un-liked my page, which was the reason we had first made the contact that I would probably un-friend them.

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    1. Yeah that's just it, it is why she requested the friendship in the first place so all a bit weird. I couldn't bring myself to defriend her because I would worry about hurting her feelings, defriending is awful. I may however put her on a secret list so she can't see anything

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  29. I don't think I can help you on this one. I chose not to have a FB page linked to blog. I know it apparently increases your traffic etc but I am not interested.

    I would be curious like you are too. I know that I add and remove blogs from my daily reading list all the time, it's not personal but change is always good.

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    1. Yep for sure change is good, but I just thought she was a supporter and perhaps that has got me the most

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  30. Let it go. Coming from someone who is totally obsessed by likes and stats, I need to take heed of what I'm about to say -

    It is none of your business what she thinks of you......

    It's so hard, but it doesn't matter.
    Just keep being fabulous and keep being true to yourself. The best revenge x

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    1. Yep you are so right, It is none of my business I guess, but still....

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  31. It's a tough one, but I would leave it. Curiosity usually always gets the better of us but having the strength to ignore our curiosity is an amazing skill to master.

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    1. I like that thinking, I shall use this as an opportunity to master ignoring my curiosity!

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  32. I read this quote today "You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger".

    Whilst this unliking may get you upset, don't let it get the better of you. Just leave it x

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    1. That is an awesome quote Lipstick Mumma, thanks for sharing. And I won't let it get the better of me, writing this post was my way of getting it out and moving on

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Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses to you, thanks for stopping by, it really means a lot, you taking the time so say hi. I try as much as I can to write a reply but if for some chance I don't get to it please know that I always read them.