I've been wanting to try and write here for days.
For whatever reason though I have not let myself.
I know not why I do this.
Prevent myself from doing what I know needs to be done.
But that's what I do.
Not today though.
Today I'm winning the battle with my brain.
Even if only for today.
Even if only for this moment.
I guess the real thing that has been holding me back from writing is the fear of speaking my truth. Or maybe the fear of accepting my truth. Just between you and me there has been some pretty screwed up shit going down in this little old life of mine over the last three or so years. I thank the goddess each and every day that we have been able to hold it all together as well as what we have.
Wild subject change.
I just went and had a look at the preview for this post. I have no photos!!! Worse still I have no header on my blog. I mean sure I've been ignoring photos from photo bucket for weeks now telling my I need to carry out some urgent actions on my account, but, I was under, the obviously misguided, assumption, it only related to something else which I thought was of little to no importance. Clearly I was wrong.
Excuse me while I see what I can do.
Thursday, November 28
Thursday, November 7
I'm torn between trying to write some fiction or just brain dumping for a bit to see if it can clear the mind. I mean it's not like I actually have a fiction piece planned out as such I was just going to start with the old faithful She sat there staring blanking at the empty screen before her and see where I ended up. Obviously I have a rough idea of how it will at least start to go but as for the ending, well obviously that remains to be seen.
It's November and for the first time in what feels like forever my head has been thinking more of writing than anything else. I desperately want to be a NaNoWriMo winner again. Interestingly enough it is with a rewrite of my original NaNoWriMo efforts that I am inspired to try with. Not that I can easily locate the only existing copy. At least I now know that it at least still exists and can narrow it down to a room and possibly even a box. There were many a year where that were not possible.
I've got maybe 29 minutes left of my lunch break. Its debatable as to when I started so the end time is a bit hit and miss as well. Twenty nine is probably a bit of a stretch, more like a little over 20 but since I am helping out and staying later than originally rostered I have little to no qualms ensuring maximum time for my breaks.
But I digress.
I'm not sure this is really the post for too much about work. In so many ways I hate it. And on multiple levels. But. I have to work. At least for the moment. There are many aspects that are pretty fantastic about it, sadly I just let the crap overshadow this a lot more than I should.
I am however nothing but a work in progress and perfection is rarely attained.