Thankful Thursday

The past few days have been particularly hard going here. As I mentioned on Tuesday we have just celebrated the one year mark since we left home. It has brought about a lot of mixed emotions that we have all had a lot of trouble dealing with. Combined with the return to school for term three stress levels have reached an all time high.

Actually that is not completely true.

The Little Two are super happy to be back at school. They both have a love of learning and are excited to be hitting the books once more. Which is incredibly wonderful and something I am eternally thankful for. I hope that it is something that stays with them for life. More than anything I long for the girls to what to be life long learners. Having a desire to learn is the most important aspect to learning.

Lovely however is a completely different story. There is no love or even the slightest desire to learn within that child. In fact as far as she is concerned school is merely a social occasion.

Sigh.

All of that is for another post though.

Back to the thanks.

In one of my hardest days in well over a year. One that I was left feeling mentally battered and bruised from the joys of parenting a teen, I received the most lovely little golden envelope in the mail.

The most ever lovely Tasha over at Of crochet & life sent me the most gorgeous little love hearts for no reason other than she wanted to make me smile. Which it most certainly did. In a huge way in fact. I am so thankful that someone could think to do such a lovely thing for little old me.

Other thanks this week include

* Finding some awesomely cheap yet tasty wine

* Finding some cheap but very beautiful and lovely to drink from wine glasses

(yes I do notice a slight trend but if you had lived my week you would be slightly wine obsessed as well)

* A secret stash of chocolate

* A most lovely long run, that included all three of my favourite spots

* Being able to get this post written well before first thing Thursday morning. Given that school is back and I have to work trying to tap something out in the morning just probably wouldn't be a wise or feasible idea.

What about you? What are some of the things you are thankful for this week?

An InLinkz Link-up

Thankful Thursday - Fun and Friendship

If you follow my Facebook or Instagram feed then this week's thanks is probably not going to come as a surprise.

This week I am thankful that the girls and I were able to hang with the gorgeous Zippy Zappy Life gang for a few days. We had been fortunate enough to share Christmas last year with this amazing family and since then the girls have been constantly asking when we would be able to see them again. The school holidays seemed like the perfect opportunity.

We arrived mid Monday afternoon. The two and a half hour felt like it took a great deal longer than it did. Possibly due to the fact that I took the scenic route. And I am thankful that I did because it was incredibly scenic.

There were endless rolling hills, quaint trees and plenty of cows. I do love looking at cows in their pastures. The scenic route also lead me to ridiculously cheap fuel, a good ten cents cheaper than what I normally pay. There were also a few train tracks that we were forced to wait at while trains went by, which the girls found incredibly exciting.

When we did finally arrive it felt like we were catching up with family and I am so thankful that the girls are able to have such special friends in their lives. Watching all the kids play and interact over the two days just made my heart swell.

Our first night saw a bon fire gathering and I am thankful that the winds stayed low so we were able to enjoy the warmth and glow of the fire. The kids all delighted in toasting marshmallows and it was a real this is what childhood memories are made of moment.

The next day saw us tackle The Maze. Something we had planned to do when we were here last year only Zany hurting her ankle threw a slight spanner in the works. All is well that ends well though because we had a fabulous time exploring all the mazes this week.

Sadly though our time there had to come to an end, though not before we hit the biggest shopping centre in the west for some funky new kicks.

I am thankful that Zany has such cool taste in shoes and feels comfortable enough in herself to wear them.

There are actually a great deal many more things that I am thankful for as well but I am already running a tad late for work and Mother Dearest who I am thankful to have visiting at the moment is getting just a little pushy for me to leave.

So over to you, what are you thankful for today?

An InLinkz Link-up

Birthday drinks and three course meals.

Not long after we arrived yesterday a little person seemed to appear out of no where. Which is not actually anything unusual. Children have a way of just appearing at our campsite.

As it turned out her name was Jemmina and she belonged to campsite about a forty meters or so away from ours. She was four and had been on the road for a couple of weeks longer than us and was super excited to seem some children near her age.

One of the things I have loved about the trip so far is the way that children just seem to be drawn to one another and friendships formed instantly. There is a real sense of making the most of the opportunity to play.

Before long Jemmina’s mum popped on over to say hi and check that all was ok. We instantly began chatting like old friends swapping tales of where were had been and where we were going. Naturally we were going in opposite directions. It feels like almost everyone we meet that I just seem to click with is going in the opposite direction to us.

Anyway it just so happened that today was Jemmina’s Dad’s birthday. He popped on over rather early this morning making a few jokes about drinking with Territorians as the ideal way to spend his special day. Since he was the birthday boy it seemed only right that we oblige.

All the campers gathering round to enjoy one of the best
roast I have ever had the pleasure of someone
serving me.

The first beer was cracked open shortly after ten, because that is when the pubs open so it is quite a justifiable time to start drinking. And while I realise it may sound terrible to say the last drink was had around ten hours later the drinks were consumed rather slowly and it was all about pace and endurance rather than how much could be drunk.

The best bit about the day, other than having made some rather cool new buddies, was that the campground hosted a roast dinner so there was no cooking to be done on my part. A grand total of $57 for the five of us to be fed a three course roast meal makes for one of the best take out options I have had for quite some time. Sadly we had to bring all our own plates and cutlery so there were still dishes that needed doing but I guess you can’t win them all.

Flowers for Miss Cinders

If you are anything like me you have probably had a Facebook friend or two share a post of a photo of a flower. The general gist is that they want to fill Facebook feeds with beautiful blooms rather than the too frequent doom and gloom.

One of my dear friends, who also happens to be the super cool blogger known as Miss Cinders did this just the other day. 

Never one to be an over achiever when an easy opportunity presents I thought I would take it one step further and do a post full of beautiful flowers I have come across lately.

Goodbye, so long, farewell

Darwin has long been touted as one of the most transient capital cities. As a long tern local it is something that I can personally attest to as well. For many years as I was growing up it felt as if all I was ever doing was saying goodbye to people. Families would get transferred here for a few years and then when their time was done, they would be sent to somewhere else. It was just the way things worked.

Of course we never got sent anywhere else because my parents had willingly chosen to be here. There had been no company transfer to prove your worth or anything like that. With the booming building industry of a city that desperately needed rebuilding and then continued to grow and grow Dad was never without work so there was never even a reason to consider leaving.

And honestly why would you want to leave a lifestyle like this?

On top of that he and my mum both loved the tropical relaxed laid back way of life. There was no way there were ever giving it up to return to the hustle and bustle of a big city. Which I can totally understand and relate to. The mere thought of a hustling bustling big city makes me want to go and hide in a corner.

As I got older I found myself wanting to join the ranks of leavers. If everyone else thought there was somewhere better to be then maybe there was something to it. So I studied hard, certain that acceptance to an interstate university was my only ticket out of town.

However before I got there, I had the chance to do some travelling of my own. Not a lot, but enough to let me know that I was already lucky enough to be living in one of the most wonderful places on earth.

Over time I said goodbye to every single one of my friends from school and my first failed attempt at university. Over the same time I slowly began to be more selective in who I would let into my inner circles of friendships. I didn't see the point in investing too much time or energy into someone who was only going to leave me.

Sadly this meant I found myself without any real friends. Which I acted like I was ok with. Who needs lots of people in their life anyway? By this time I had Mr Awesome so in so many ways I thought I had all that I needed.

Of course I didn't though.

By the time Lovely was five and Zany was on the scene I began to realise the importance of having friends. Not just for myself but for the girls as well. Slowly I began looking for some and opening myself up. It was a long and slow process. Not aided by my reluctance either.

In 2011 I decided to throw caution to the wind and actively sought to find new life long friends. It was a wonderful experience and I while I may not have discovered the new bestie I was hoping for I no longer felt alone or even lonely. It also gave me the confidence to keep slowly letting people in.

Somewhere along the line I stopped looking so hard and just let things be. As great as 2011 had been for finding and making new friends, there weren't too many actual keepers in there. I wasn't going to spend 2012 in the same manner so I backed off on the friendship hunt.

Only would you believe it? When I wasn't even looking I somehow managed to stumble across someone who I truly connected with in so many ways. In fact from our first catch up I walked away feeling like I had just spent hours with a best friend. If of course I was the type to have best friends.

Anyway I am sure by now you have worked out what comes next.

Yep she is now on the road out of town and quickly too.

Despite my total and utter devastation I don't really hold it against her. I know that it is in her family's best interest. I know that where she is off to she will be faced with great opportunity and a wonderful life but right now it is so hard to see past my own sadness.

Which I know is so, so so incredibly selfish. Especially since in six months time I would have been the one leaving her. But I just can't help it. The mere thought of saying goodbye to her sends me to tears. Ridiculous over emotional tears that I just can't stop.

And yes I have heard of Skype and all those modern fang dangled ways of staying in contact but they are not the same. Not when it is the only way to stay in contact with just about every single person that you love and care for.

joining Jess and the gang for IBOT

also part of the Digital Parents Blog Carnival hosted by Mrs D plus 3

Giveaway - Nana Dot Handmade Baby Goods

Today I am super excited to introduce to you a wonderful new handmade stay at home mum venture.

Nana Dot Handmade Baby Goods

I know that it is not the most wonderful of photo and you are probably wondering exactly what they are, but there were just to many beautiful necklaces for me to choice just one to take a photo of.

Actually even choosing which photo to use once I narrowed down to just three necklaces still wasn't an easy task. Nor was taking the photos for that matter, as seen by the horrible light reflection on the table.

These necklaces are made from BPA free, food grade silicon beads. Which makes them a-ok for your baby to be putting in their mouth (as babies want to do). Making them not only incredibly fashionable but incredibly useful when you are out and about with a teething baby that you would prefer not to drop their teething toys on the ground. 

Yes more dodgy photos of far from dodgy necklaces.
Necklaces that are great for mothers of teething babies to be wearing I might add. Though just between you and me I think they are far to funky to be purely teething necklaces. 

But wait there is more.

I know this may look a little like a bracelet it is not. It is however a sensory necklace for a little person on the autism spectrum. Again though my terrible photography does not quite do it justice. Oh and if you were wondering bracelets can be ordered.

All the necklaces are knotted on a nylon cord with a breakaway clasp used. The necklaces are designed to be worn by mum and as with all teething products should be closely supervised. Care and cleaning of the necklaces is as easy as washing in warm soapy water.

But wait there is still even more!

Nana Dot Handmade Baby Goods is more than just silicone beads. There are also burp clothes, bibs, bandana bibs (great for teething dribble), taggies and even more to come. Though if you want to see those little beauties you will have to head on over to the Nana Dot Handmade Baby Goods Facebook page and check it out yourself. 

What I do have for you though, is the ability to win your very own necklace. Or if you were feeling generous a necklace that you could pass on to a new mum. They do make super cool presents after all.

All you have to do to enter is like the Nana Dot Handmade Baby Goods and click a few buttons on the rafflecopter entry below. Nana Dot is still super new to the land of Facebook so it would be great to give her some loving.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Joining in IBOT   fun with Essentially Jess

Oh and for those that like disclaimers, Nana Dot is very good friend of mine who has decided to try a home based business in the hope she won't have to return to traditional employment and instead be able to stay at home and enjoy more time with her three beautiful children. She asked me if I would be interested in hosting a giveaway in a bid to gain her some exposure and help her venture grow. (Just quietly I was tickled pink that she thought I had the ability to help expose her - because that is not some you get asked everyday - Can you help expose me?) Needless to say no payment was sought or given, just lots of love spreading.

I must confess some of my crazy thoughts

The other day I shared an insight into some of the crazy thoughts that have popped through my head. In all honestly I cringe at the thought of some of the things that I said in that post. Even as I sit here typing this I am gently rocking back and forth in my chair wondering whether this is something I should keep pushing on with.

You see I am slowing beginning to think that we all have equally crazy thoughts at times. Some may be slightly crazier than others and others may have them slightly more often than some. But at the end of the day we are all full of our own little cup of crazy.

Which to me makes it not so crazy and more like normal.

Which I think is why I am thinking that sharing a few more of my hide in the cupboard crazies is a good idea. To create a whole new normal not just for me, but my readers at large. Failing that let's just hope it is at the least in some way entertaining.

So in there interest of normalising crazy, particularly mine here I go.


Before arriving at the Digital Parents Conference I had a whole heap of expectations. One of which was that I would be inundated with people who couldn't wait to meet me. And to some extent there was and please if you are one of those people reading this I really was touched and it did meant the world to me.

However there honestly was a part of me that expected a little more. In some ways I envisaged a whole range of different people racing up to introduce themselves to me for one reason or another. And yes one of those reasons might have been to either offer me a book deal or sign me up as their number one writer for something or another.

Not surprisingly (when you have reality firmly gripped) I was not mobbed upon my nearly late arrival to the conference on day one. I was however greeted by the lovely Tina who engulfed me with one of the warmest welcome hugs I have ever felt. My first thought was "I think she might actually know who I am" which naturally made me feel all kinds of special.

However my special feeling quickly dissipated when others did not get so nearly excited upon my entrance. Which again is totally understandable for those who have a strong relationship with reality. Unlike myself at times.

For me the entire conference was spent on an internal roller coaster trying to determine where I fitted in, not just in the blogosphere but almost in the world at large. For as much as it felt great being around so many like minded souls I also felt incredibly isolated and alone at times. Which may or may not have been a pure result of my crazy thoughts (actually it is but like I want to admit that).

As I mentioned in my last post I let my crazy thoughts get so carried away I missed out on meeting the rather lovely Tiff. Only she wasn't the only one. Oh no, there is a whole long list. For the most part I am not beating myself up about it too much but there are few that I am just gutted I didn't manage find the balls to really talk to.

Top of that list is Robomum.

Another who requested my where abouts during the conference.

@aparentinglife Where ru ?
— RoboMum (@RoboMumBlog) March 20, 2013

Only by the time we actually managed to be in the same room at the same time there was barely enough time for a quick hello hug before we both had to rush off somewhere else.

At the time I was a bit relieved because by this stage I was on the verge of my mini meltdown, though I don't think I realised it at the time. My levels of overwhelm had soared to new heights by this stage. The thought of actually having to talk to anyone, regardless of whether I knew them or not, made my stomach turn a thousand different ways.

As I think about it now I really wish that I had pushed myself a little further. Robomum was on my list people I was hoping to connect with and I had the opportunity to and now feel like I threw it away. Not only that I have heard from numerous sources that she is as awesome in real life as she is on her blog.

Talk about rubbing salt into the wound.


The irony of the whole no one wants to talk to me despite me not being able to actually to anyone is not lost on me. Total crazy I know.

Happy Birthday Jess!!

Now I don't know if you have heard or not...

...but the ever awesome Jess, creator & head honcho over at Essentially Jess is having a birthday, today.

Without at doubt Jess is one of my most favourite bloggers. She is open, honest and totally caring about everyone else much more than herself. Which made me think I wanted to do something a little bit special for this auspicious occasion. 

After all a mum only turns thirty once. Or as Jess likes to put it awesomeness, since that is what she was counting down to.

Naturally my first thought was a rather awesome blog post about how awesome it is to be thirty and how awesome Jess is, but we all already know what a super star she is.

So I put my thinking cap back on.

And then it hit me.

A vlog.

Ah huh. You heard. A vlog by yours truly.

Buckle in and hold on as I present me, presenting a birthday wish to a very lovely lady.

Ok so not surprisingly but that didn't go quite as plan, but go it did so go me I guess? The poor sound quality and shaky hand can be put down to first time nerves I think. That and the fact it was rather late when I got around to filming.

There were so many things in there that I forgot to say. I wanted to give thanks to Ness because it was her favouriting of my tweets that gave me the intestinal fortitude that I needed to go ahead with all of this. I also can't believe that totally forgot to send some birthday fairy wishes and butterfly kisses over to Jess. I tell ya the excitement of it all just blew me away.

You should totally head over to the Essentially Jess Facebook page and leave your own special birthday message for the birthday girl. I am sure it will totally make her day.

Friendship reflection

Source

Friendships are something that I spend a lot of time thinking about. Especially as I age. Friendships can be fickle if you don't make the right ones. However if you do manage to sow the right friendships seeds they can bring a life of love and happiness. As MultipleMum over at And then there were four points out we need the connection that friendship brings to help keep loneliness and isolation at bay.

For me friends are something that I have always felt like I struggled with. Even in primary school I can recall this awful feeling of just not fitting in. I wasn't overly different to everyone else, I just never felt like I had a secure circle anywhere. It was like people were always happy to spend time with till something better came along.

When I went to high school I purposely choose a school that I knew not many of the kids from my school would be at. I wanted a fresh start and a clean slate. I saw it as an opportunity to leave the struggles of the previous years behind me and create a whole new me. One that was cool and had a tight group of girls that would always have my back. The boys also thought I was a bit of alright and I would be the one that everyone would want to hang with.

Not surprisingly that is not exactly how things turned out.

Apparently being cool in the eyes of your peers as you are growing up is something you are born with. You have either got it or you don't. Much to my disappointment I realised quickly in my high school years that I was in the don't got it camp. It didn't take to long for me to realise that maybe I wasn't missing out on as much as what I thought.

Of course that is not to say I didn't manage to make some wonderful friends, because I did. And for most of the five years that I was in high school I was never overwhelmed with loneliness or isolation, but there certainly times when I questioned my place in amongst it all and there were many a time when I had the nobody likes me song going round in my head.

My first year of uni saw me out of home and living with my bestie. It was great, it was one of the first times that I started to feel a real sense of belonging. I loved it. I had wonderful boyfriend, a fantastic flatmate and a job at the coolest shop in town.

Life was great.

We lived in an inner city flat and were stumbling distance from the nightlife that is being a uni student. We partied, we studied, we were footloose and fancy free and the world was our oyster. It really did feel like a dream come true kind of life.

Looking back now I can't even remember what it was that made her move out, but move out she did and we practically never spoke again. She left town and I never heard from her again. It was all before the Internet and things. In fact, back then we didn't even have *gasp* mobile phones.

Do you know how old I feel right now?

Of course now that there is the Internet we are Facebook friends but it has only been within the last eighteen months and it was with great trepidation that I sent the request through. We messaged each other a few times but nothing more than super short updates. Which is pretty much the extent of all my interaction with those I went to high school with.

Just after few short months after my twenty first birthday I dumped my high school boyfriend and decided to move onto bigger and better things. The next few years blurred together and I suddenly experienced a whirlwind of incredibly intense romantic relationships, which would eventually leave me a single mother to a wonderful little girl.

So not what the magic ball had said when I asked as a teenager. But I digress.

This post was originally meant to be about all the beautiful friends that I have been blessed with. Especially of late. The last twelve months have really shown to me that I do have a place in this crazy old world. I still may not know exactly where that place is but I know there most definitely is one. What I do know though is it is a place that I am thankful to share with some wonderful people, both in real life and on Internet, thanks to this lovely little old blog of mine.

With that in mind I just wanted to say.

To all who left such lovely comments on Tuesday's post I am thankful.
Thankful that you stopped by and more so that you took the time to comment and show you care.

To all the lovely people who call me their friend I thank you also, I know that sometimes I may be slightly (or a lot sometimes) self occupied and don't seem to care, but trust me, when you need it most, I'll be there.

Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses to one and all

Why did you unlike me?

Well won't you look at that, Tuesday has suddenly rolled around again and here were are once more with the bloggy loving that is #IBOT.

What's that?

You are new here and you have never heard of #IBOT!
Well grab your beverage of choice, settle in and put your feet up and I will tell you all about the joys of #IBOT while I ease the troubles within that I have this fine day.

Hosted by the ever lovely EssentiallyJess, #IBOT stands for I Blog On Tuesday and withoutis one of the most popular linky's in the Australian blogosphere. It is an open topic meme with the only requisite really being that the post you link up is fresh off the publish button that Tuesday.

The greatest thing about it though is the comment love and sense of community. It is also a great way to discover some great posts. Doing the rounds of #IBOT posts each week really feels like spending time with friends. Warm, caring and obviously sharing kind of friends, united by the love of blogging. Bloggy buddies if you will.

Some of my bloggy buddies have even sent Facebook friend requests to me. Which was kind of lovely. It meant that when I logged into the blog's Facebook page the number of friends that liked me jumped up. Well, went up by one. Which of course is always a nice feeling. As superficial and silly as it may be there are times when I am all about the numbers. Well not all about the numbers, but I would be lying if I said they didn't matter.

Because they do.

And as lovely as it is to see that number go up it is twice as awful to see it go down. As I did just recently. My numbers are all fairly stagnant, which is fine, I am may not be gaining at vast knots but at least I am not losing either. So when I do lose someone I notice.

Generally I can never be too sure who I lose, as there are hundreds of possibilities, only this time I do. You know because they are friend and all, so that kind of narrow's it down.

The questions I put to you dear reader is,

should I

1. confront my supposed blogging buddy and ask them why, when they know only too well what the fickle land of Facebook likers is like, they unliked my page,
   
   or
    
2. should I take the more drastic measure of just cutting my losses and defriending them altogether and forgetting it ever happened

Anyway now that is out in the open let's get back to reading some awesome posts. Just click the button below

Thankful Thursday

Last week I was thankful that it was a brand new day. This week I am most thankful for the fact that I wrote that post. Thanks to that one little post I went on to have one of the best nights ever. My faith and trust in the universe has well and truly been reinstated, perhaps even stronger than before.

Here's what happened.

As I was driving home on Friday afternoon, one of my dear readers, who also happens to be a teacher at school rang me. Thanks to a bizarre twist of fate she had a spare ticket to the concert I so desperately wanted to attend. After reading my post she wanted to offer me her spare ticket.

I could not believe my ears. I don't know I managed to remain in control of my car I was so excited and yet dumbfounded at the same time. I just couldn't believe that it was all really happening. You see by Friday afternoon I was just about at peace with the fact that I probably wouldn't be going. I wan't happy with it but I was ready to accept that was just the way things were going to pan out this time.

As it turned out it was only by chance that she read my post. She had originally scrolled past it on her Facebook feed but then when she saw it had a picture of Kenny she went back to have a read. Turns out she is a rather large fan of the man himself as well.

Her husband had just happened to be passing a mate's house earlier in the day who was setting up an outdoor kitchen in his front yard. He stopped to find out what he was doing. Turns out he was going to be a food vendor at the concert and was getting ready for his final inspection by authorities to ensure his equipment was up to scratch. He also had a spare ticket that he passed on just in case he knew of anyone that wanted to go. He didn't at the time but took it anyway.

Unbelievable I tell you. Unbelievable.

Moments after he came on stage. Not the best photo but certainly the best time

The concert itself was nothing short of amazing. I never in a million years thought I would ever get to see such a super star perform. While his face may not exactly resemble that of a 74 year old the rest of his body did. He slowly shuffled across to center stage when he came out and it wasn't long before he sat down. But his voice was still wonderful and really that is all that matters.

For a whole hour I was totally transfixed. Pure and utter bliss.

He played all my favourties and even now I can't think of a song he didn't sing that I wished he had of. For the first few songs I was a little emotional and may have shed a tear or ten. Thankfully it was dark by that time.

Music is an amazing thing. It has a way of transporting you through time and space. It makes you feel things that you wouldn't normally. Sitting there on that hill, surrounded by some seven thousand other people (which is what a sell out crowd is up here) listen to one of the greatest names in country music I could suddenly feel my dad by my side.

For nearly three years I have been waiting to say that I could truly feel my dad's presence. There is no doubt that he was sitting there with me on Saturday night. For that I am incredibly thankful as it was one of the nicest feeling ever.

Yes that is my forehead, proof that I really was there

So there you have it folks, dreams really can come true. For that I am eternally thankful.

Linking in for

Silence, Noise and Angel Connection

Wanting to take control of my life and ensure it is heading in the right direction I decided to give myself an Angel Feather reading. What else is there to do when children are at school or sleeping. It is not often that I find my self blessed with a tranquil silence, but when I do I like to make the most of it.

With the wind gently moving nearby wind chimes, their melodic chiming is all I hear. They somehow soften all other background noises, all of which are distant anyway. The tranquility I am experiencing is nothing short of pure bliss. This was the pause for inspiration that I spoke of last week.

Things were I live are not great at the moment. Without going into to much detail one neighbour is making life incredibly uncomfortable for other residents. There are bucket loads of tension all over the place. We are all just counting the days till the troublemakers leave.

Anyway, one of the other residents who also happens to be lovely new friend, lent me her Angel Feather Oracle deck. I felt strongly connected to them the moment she brought them out.

From the moment I got home with them I have been itching to have a play. The time was just never right though. Until now. Shuffling them in my hands the earlier felt connection just continued to grow. I like to have all the cards facing the right way when I start. Each one I turned round felt like it had a message for me.

It felt so good to be connecting to the Angel Realm. The real world is full of some pretty heavy issues at the moment and every now and then it is good to leave it behind. Dealing out the first three cards I felt reassured that not only would all be ok, but I would handle all before me with relative ease. Which I needed to hear like you wouldn't believe.

So here I am. Feeling warm and fuzzy, relieved that perhaps things aren't nearly as bleak as first expected. When  BAM! My peaceful, soul rejuvenating moments to myself are rudely snatched away from me.

Instead of solace I am now subjected to ear crunching pollution that is power drills and demolition.

The neighbours are getting a new kitchen. And bathroom. Which is super lovely for them because what they have is what some might call antique. It is definitely older than retro, which is what we are blessed with. To say I am jealous in some ways is not entirely untrue, but that is not the point right now. What I hadn't factored when I was told about the forth coming upgrade weeks ago, was the noise.

Did I mention we share a common brick wall?

It sounds like the handy man is about to bore through it at any given moment. His drill varying between ear piercingly sharp and brain burstingly loud. At precociously the same time as this starts the concrete trucks across the road on the other side of the house fire up and I soundly feel like I am in the middle of a war zone.

Oh no wait. That is not what makes me think I am in a war zone. The F-18's and Hercules that are now flying over head are what make me think war zone. Which I have never had a problem with and would by no means ever complain about what our pilots are prepared to do.

This flies over my house regularly at this time of year

Seriously my ears are ringing and my head a thumping. All the while Miss Two sleeps. Please just let her keep on sleeping. I wish I could just scream out to it all, don't you know I have a child sleeping if you would kindly shut the fuck up.

There now I've gone and sworn on the blog again. I do try not to do that. It is hard at the moment though. Feeling as frustrated and useless as I do at the moment dropping an f bomb here and there is all I can do. Thirty eight days and counting.

As the reader you should appreciate that this post didn't start with a range of expletives because I tell ya when that drill starts pounding into the wall I want to harm people with a fork. So much for being connected to the angelic fairy world.

Best I go source some ear plugs I think

Facebook, friendships and the fickleness of it all

The other day, our #iBot hostess with the mostess spent a bit of time getting all philosophical in regards to Facebook friendships and etiquette involved, particularly in the establishment of friendships request. 

For me I don't put in requests for Facebook friendships anymore. There are a few people online that I wouldn't mind peeking into their Facebook life but it gets back to the fear that I live with. The fear that I have slowly worked on but deep down is still there in some levels.  That and the fact there are other ways to stalk get to know people as well.

In the real world I tend to describe myself as not a people person.  Which for some reason seems to take people by surprise.  Sure I have only ever played team sports.  Sure I was a somewhat enthusiastic public speaker and lover of attention.  Sure I am heavily involved with the school council and a variety of other people based activities.  And so what if I loved working in retail and customer service based jobs? None of that really means I like people. 

Because just between you, me and the light post there are large parts of my history were to me people are more than just over rated and the less I had to do with them the better.  I am not talking people in particular here but rather people as a whole.  It was a place in time where I really felt that a life of reclusive was my best option.  But they are stories for another day.  For today all you really need to know is that not so long ago I really felt like I didn't have any friends, in the real world or online.

Of course if you looked at my FB account it would tell a different story.  According to the world of FB I have over 150 friends.  Some are family, others are old high school friends and some are even from my primary school days.  None of whom I really have had that much to do with, especially in recent times.  It is the voyeur in us that keeps the link.  

There are now a few mum's from school and sports on the list as well.  I felt particularly proud of myself in these instances as I went out of my comfort zone and onto a limb to request a FB friendship.  As it turns out only one of the women and I really interact.

There are also a few people in my friends list that I have never met in the flesh.  Never even heard their voice.  Complete and utter strangers.  The only commonality being our addiction to pointless games. When I first began to be sucked into the interwebs I liked to play games that needed lots of friends.  Most of my existing friends either didn't play pointless games or played ones different to my interest.  As such when there was no other way to pass the level and I just had to go on I would just selectively add strangers as I needed.  

Some of these people have turned out to be great confidants that given the opportunity I would meet in an instant.  Some of these people have been the there for me as I struggled through the hard times.  Most of them are now just a name that I am too scared to defriend because I would hate to hurt their feelings.  (As if they may even notice)

Whether I like it or not friendships are important.  We need to have other people in our lives.  Our children need us to have other people in our lives.  The trick is being able to select the right people.

Last year one of my main focuses was the search for new friends.  I set about it with great gusto at the start of the year.  Made easier by the fact I happened to stumble across a group of women who were also looking to extend their friendship base.  Many of these interactions occurred through FB.  A mutual friend was set up that gave lonely local women such as myself a place to meet and interact.  Social gatherings in real life were also organised.

I left the first meet and greet feeling awesome.  I had enjoyed chatting to my new found friends and discovered that there were a few out there who even shared similar beliefs to mine.  I loved watching the children play and also make new friendships.  I raced home to see which of these new lovely ladies would soon be requesting my Facebook friendship.  Let's just say it takes more than one date.

The next few gatherings were not nearly as awesome.  I started to get overwhelmed with all the new people.  I didn't want to have a lifetime of first time mummy dates, I wanted continuity and stability.  I just wanted a small group of people that I could get to know and form a lifelong relationship with.

Slowly the FB friend requests came through and from there a small group of women became more acquainted.  I had forgotten that friendship take time, energy and work.   I had honestly thought that I would just meet someone and go wow this person is a life long friend.  Sounds lovely doesn't it?  Slightly crazy perhaps but lovely nonetheless.  Also not really like to happen.

Only you know what?  

Last week it did happen.  I had a second mummy date with a woman I met online.  Our first date had been wonderful, conversation flowed and little people stared and smiled at each other.  This time it was a chance for our big kids met.  From the moment her daughter showed up wearing the same shirt as mine I knew it was going to be a great day.  Hours passed in what seemed like minutes and by the way the kids played you would have sworn they already new each other.

This woman and I are Tweeters and as such when we returned home shared the beauty of our morning with our avid followers.  I wanted to type felt like we were with life long friends.  But I didn't.  I didn't want to come across as needy or desperate.  I was scared that the words life long friends might have been a commitment she wasn't interested in or felt otherwise about.  I never for a second stopped to think she might have felt the same way as I...

As with much of life confidence is the key. 

Unfortunately for many, myself included it can sometimes be in short supply. The fear of rejection is often so great that I often just refuse to put myself out there. I have been the brunt of jokes, I have been the tag along friend, the one on the outer but still seems to still just hang around, not really fitting in anywhere. I don't like it and I don't want to be her any more. I want to be the one that has secrets shared, ideas respected and fun had. I want to be the one that is turned to in times of need and called on in times of worry and joy.

I know that it won't happen overnight, but I hope it will happen.

What about you? 

Do feel like you have enough friends or would you like to widen your circle a little? 

When you meet people for the first few times do you have the confidence to just assume they will see and love your awesomeness? Or do you worry that they will take one look at you and run? Stopping only to laugh at the ridiculous statement you just made.

As the little button up the top suggest this post links up with Diary of a SAHM for IBOT you should head on over and see who else blogs on a Tuesday and what they have to say.

Ultimate Blog Party 2011

As I was doing my regular trip around blogoshpere I stumbled across a post that was part of the Ultimate Blog Party. Naturally I wanted to find out more and see if I too could join in the fun.

It turns out that I was only hours away from the party deadline but at least there is still time. All I had to do was write a party post (which you are currently reading)

The whole idea is about meeting new people and their blogs. Which is great as that fits perfectly to my 2011 theme of trying new things. So if this is the first time you have stopped by here are a few of my favourtie posts.

Introducing Me 2011 Year of Trying My Place and Yours

They will all give you a bit of an insight into the fun and laughter (mostly but not always) that is my life. Feel free to have a browse through some of the labels and past posts to the right if you are after even more. There are plenty of laughs to have if you look hard enough :)

In a nutshell though I am a happily married mother to three beautiful girls. I dream of being a famous writer though I don't really write enough at this stage for that to occur. I am slowly trying to change this though.

The photo today is off the banner that we made for DD3's recent first birthday celebrations. One of the easiest and cheapest things I have ever done. It is simply tissue paper stapled over kitchen twine.

Anyway thanks for stopping by, please have a look around and feel free to leave a comment, I love meeting my readers. If you want to stay up to date click one (or both if your super keen) of the follow buttons on your left and never miss a post again