Wednesday, December 4

At ease soldier.



It's ok. Everybody relax. It looks like the panic stations raised during my last post may have been a false alarm. Everything seems to be currently A O K. Unfortunately though, amid my terror, I stupidly changed my base template. At the time I thought that was where the problem lay. I'm not thinking that was probably not the case, but what's a girl to do now? The damage is done, and in my haste to rectify what was more than likely just a glitch in my internet preventing the pages from loading properly, I didn't even think about making a back up.

Yeah I know right. Like seriously Sharon you had one job.

Anyway,

Moving right along, because after all, all is not lost. In fact only the header of the blog is gone and hopefully only temporarily forgotten. I am sure I still have a copy of it on my old Mac that I will one day be able to get fixed.

I have 25 minutes of my lunch left.

What to do? What to do?

23:49 left now

Just under 19 minutes now. My mind is blank proper. I tried to free it with a game of solitaire but alas t'was to no avail.

I'm outta here for now. Given the lack of flowing words, perhaps eating is a better option.




Thursday, November 28

Nothing to see. Moving along

I've been wanting to try and write here for days. 

For whatever reason though I have not let myself.

 I know not why I do this. 

Prevent myself from doing what I know needs to be done. 

But that's what I do.

Not today though.

Today I'm winning the battle with my brain.

Even if only for today.

Even if only for this moment. 

Deep breath.

I guess the real thing that has been holding me back from writing is the fear of speaking my truth. Or maybe the fear of accepting my truth. Just between you and me there has been some pretty screwed up shit going down in this little old life of mine over the last three or so years. I thank the goddess each and every day that we have been able to hold it all together as well as what we have.

BUTTTTTT!!!!!!

OMFG!!!!!!

Wild subject change.

I just went and had a look at the preview for this post. I have no photos!!! Worse still I have no header on my blog. I mean sure I've been ignoring photos from photo bucket for weeks now telling my I need to carry out some urgent actions on my account, but, I was under, the obviously misguided, assumption, it only related to something else which I thought was of little to no importance. Clearly I was wrong.

Excuse me while I see what I can do.



Thursday, November 7

Lunchtime brain dump


I'm torn between trying to write some fiction or just brain dumping for a bit to see if it can clear the mind. I mean it's not like I actually have a fiction piece planned out as such I was just going to start with the old faithful She sat there staring blanking at the empty screen before her and see where I ended up. Obviously I have a rough idea of how it will at least start to go but as for the ending, well obviously that remains to be seen.

It's November and for the first time in what feels like forever my head has been thinking more of writing than anything else. I desperately want to be a NaNoWriMo winner again. Interestingly enough it is with a rewrite of my original NaNoWriMo efforts that I am inspired to try with. Not that I can easily locate the only existing copy. At least I now know that it at least still exists and can narrow it down to a room and possibly even a box. There were many a year where that were not possible.

I've got maybe 29 minutes left of my lunch break. Its debatable as to when I started so the end time is a bit hit and miss as well. Twenty nine is probably a bit of a stretch, more like a little over 20 but since I am helping out and staying later than originally rostered I have little to no qualms ensuring maximum time for my breaks.

But I digress.

I'm not sure this is really the post for too much about work. In so many ways I hate it. And on multiple levels. But. I have to work. At least for the moment. There are many aspects that are pretty fantastic about it, sadly I just let the crap overshadow this a lot more than I should.

I am however nothing but a work in progress and perfection is rarely attained.



Wednesday, August 21

15 Minutes

That's how long I've got here. After that Teapot and I are meant to be taking #Lilythedog for a walk. Based on the fact that T is currently sitting on the outside couch perusing the Bookclub catalogue there is a fairly high chance our departure is more than 15 minutes away. 
 
Especially since I have just remember some online training I'm meant to complete for work.

So this time twelve months ago things were a very different affair. I was certainly not just casually sitting on my back deck typing away. No. Not even close. My entire world felt like it had been completely shattered and was almost irreversible. I had no idea what I was going to do.

All very dramatic I know, but trust me, the shit that had just imploded in my life was fucking huge. So huge I can't even bring myself to not use sweary words.

Very few people were privy to what happened. Even now I still don't really openly discuss what occurred. Which I must admit causes some internal conflict. It is a topic that I feel should be discussed openly because it is something that affects so many people. But. In this instance it is not my story to own. While it is part of my story, it is not mine to tell. And yes, I know I could ask permission  to share from the story owner, but I don't want to. I'm not ready to have that conversation yet and I am not sure they are ready to tell it anyway.

All that really matters now though is that at the end of the day the number one rule* was adhered to. 

The number one rule, in case you were wondering is 'Don't die' When we were living #ouradventureofalifetime, we met the most wonderful of families. They had two children around the same age as The Little Two and a set up that was eerily similar to Edna and Patty. I can't recall at this point whether I've ever mentioned them here before, I'm sure I must has as this family felt like kindred spirits to us. We spent many a wonderful night with them as our paths continued to coincidently cross.

Teapot has just appeared, ready for our walk so my time here is up.



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Monday, August 19

....uhm.....

Yeah.....

So I managed to somewhat dubiously write three posts in a row out and then returned to the radio silence. I didn't want to say it out loud for fear of cursing myself but I had intended to write a post every day...

Look how well that worked out.

Anyways I am here now and that is all that matters is it not? I may only have a dismal 13% of battery life on the old lappy but you can't win them all no can you? Besides the added pressure of an imminent shut down is just the incentive I need to not be distracted by all the shiny things on the internets.

What to say though.

I'm still trying to unwind from the day that was. I have been home approximately forty minutes.

And fu.....

.....I just remembered my food delivery for the week was still sitting in the car from when I got home. Lucky I swapped my once tropical lifestyle for the current arctic version hey?

As much as locals here may say winter of 2019 was in fact on of Mother Nature's more kinder winter's I have felt nothing but frozen for far too long now. I just want to feel the golden sun's beaming rays penetrate through to my soul. Is that too much to ask?

But back to my food delivery. (Mainly because it is something easy to talk about and honestly I feel like I am kinda scrapping the bottom of the barrel as far as topics to write about go. 

Anyways.

I have momentarily become one of those people, who rather than drive their self crazy with the endless barrage of what to cook for dinner every f*&king night, opt for the just have it all sent to you in a box option. Today's box is only the second delivery and it came with a hundred dollar wine voucher so it's hard not to be a bit in love.

Sure it is a little more expensive than what I would normally spend. If I was one of those domestic goddess/totally organised and meal plan type of person. 

But I'm not. 

I'm much more of a buy whatever crap is cheapest each and every night because the thought of cooking dinner does my head in and I hate it because how hard is it to have something that everyone will enjoy when you are cooking for more than one person?

Well I just got my final I'm about to shut down warning from the laptop and I daren't push my luck to far is I'll just hit publish for now

x


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