Tuesday, January 1

Hello New Year


I came to the computer hours ago to finish my last post for the year and start the first for 2013. Eventually I got the former out the way and after much stuffing around and what not, it appears as if I have finally started the later. Though I already know it will not be the post that I really want it to be.

When I first thought about this post, well over a week ago, I had planned for it to be one full of inspirational goodness. Something that would get both you and I off our computer chairs and living life to the fullest in 2013.

Sounds great doesn't it?

Sadly that post is not quite here yet. Mainly because I am off living life and trying to make the most out of the last day of 2012. Actually making the most is perhaps a bit of a stretch. A more accurate description is trying to cram in all the things that have spent weeks (or even months) waiting to be done.

In between all of that I am trying very hard to ignore the fact that the day after tomorrow (which is now actually tomorrow as you are reading on Tuesday and I am referring to Wednesday) will see me put Miss Eleven on a plane to go and visit her biological father. Who I would dearly love to refer to as the sperm donor but don't because that is insensitive to his feelings and I don't want to do that. Because regardless of what may or may not have happened in the past between us, he has always tried to remain involved in her life.

Not that, that actually makes sending her off to him any easier. For all the bedtime turmoil and arguing about putting the dishes away and whatever else she may do that drives me to distraction, I am going to miss her like crazy. I always do. So crazy that it actually makes me feel a little sick to even think about it.

As I type my stomach has started to churn and there is this pounding lump growing in my chest. From there it will make it's way to my throat where it will inevitably get stuck and I will feel like I am choking for the next little while. I can't believe that it has come around so quickly again. I really do hate this time of year.

Where was I?

Oh that's right, getting ready for Tuesday and IBOT while saying goodbye to 2012 and Miss Eleven. Though Miss Eleven's goodbye is only for two weeks so I should just suck it up and get on with it.

Sigh.

Of course much easier said than done.

Anyway it is Tuesday and I have blogged.

You should too, then you can join in all the fun that is #IBOT. 

Head on over to Essentially Jess for all the details and to meet the newest members of the awesome TeamIBOT