I know that I still miss dad much more than I think most people around me realise.
I know that I am glad he is no longer in pain and he has gone to a better place and all that jazz. Still doesn't stop me missing him.
I know that people deal with death and remembering the dead in different ways and that is OK. I hope that other people remember that as well. I know that I have trouble being near some family members in times of grief as I want to be the saddest. Selfish I know but some times we need to put ourselves first and this is one of those times for me.
I know that the photos I wanted to take last night were not nearly as good as the ones I took last year. Last year when we went to have dinner with dad (chinese take away where we scattered his ashes) I took these stunners
This year I have none. We got there late and missed sunset. I also didn't have my camera, I had been hoping to try out the camera qualities on my new to me iPhone (used to be hubs). I was particularly keen to try instagram only for some reason it all seemed not to work.
I know that helping DD2 come to terms with this whole death thing is not always easy. She is always talking about dad and how much she misses him. Last night she was devastated because all she wanted was a kiss and a cuddle from her grampa. It.Broke.My.Heart. What I would give for one as well.
I know that when I put my status yesterday as I like you a bit you know only my brother and sister would have known that it was something dad used to say to us.
I know that there is a part of me that feels a little guilty for carrying on about my dead dad. After all, he was old and sick and had lead a wonderful life. There are mothers out there grieving over their lost children. Precious new little lives lost before they had a chance to live. Thankfully there is another part of me that has the common sense to go yes those lost little lives are sad, but that doesn't stop you (me) from also feeling sad about no longer having my dad with us.
I know that this is probably enough for now.
I know that if you want to read more things that people know you should head on over to Shae's. Click the button and it will take you right there