Nothing to see. Moving along

I've been wanting to try and write here for days. 

For whatever reason though I have not let myself.

 I know not why I do this. 

Prevent myself from doing what I know needs to be done. 

But that's what I do.

Not today though.

Today I'm winning the battle with my brain.

Even if only for today.

Even if only for this moment. 

Deep breath.

I guess the real thing that has been holding me back from writing is the fear of speaking my truth. Or maybe the fear of accepting my truth. Just between you and me there has been some pretty screwed up shit going down in this little old life of mine over the last three or so years. I thank the goddess each and every day that we have been able to hold it all together as well as what we have.

BUTTTTTT!!!!!!

OMFG!!!!!!

Wild subject change.

I just went and had a look at the preview for this post. I have no photos!!! Worse still I have no header on my blog. I mean sure I've been ignoring photos from photo bucket for weeks now telling my I need to carry out some urgent actions on my account, but, I was under, the obviously misguided, assumption, it only related to something else which I thought was of little to no importance. Clearly I was wrong.

Excuse me while I see what I can do.

An admission

I've been sitting here for over half an hour with the intention of writing. I no sooner opened the laptop and my procrastination went into overdrive. There were emails to be read, government agencies to check in with and old posts that kept grabbing my attention.

Thankfully I became aware of my predicament and was able to swiftly take action.

It is not easy mind you.

My mind, as always, is racing all over the place.

In a bid to avoid going completely numb as the early stages of what feels like hyperthermia set my body has taken shivering to Olympic Games levels. 

Which if I were to be sitting outside in the middle of winter I could understand. 

But I am not. 

I am sitting outside as the first month of summer draws to an end. Since when did 13.3 degrees and dropping become an approved summer's night temperature?

So why am I sitting outside when it is ridiculously cold I hear you ask.

Well that is a very good question, sadly with not the greatest of answers. 

About this time last year I started smoking again.

Yeah, terrible I know. It was only meant to be one, and then only one packet and then only for one month and now only for one year. I have to do whatever it takes to stop. 

The start of something

This is another of those sitting in my inbox since forever posts that I am not sure what to do with other than just publish.

The title is so fitting to so many aspects of my life though. I am always aware that I am at the 'start of something'. Sometimes I don't think I even know what that something is, I just know that it is something.

Anyway I am starting to ramble and since I have already done that once today I will refrain from any more. It is Tuesday and I have blogged and while I haven't for a while I am a bit excited to be joining in with #IBOT

It was hot and sticky.  The air thick and heavy.  The weather man said it might rain but what would he know?  He was only guessing anyway.  They all were. No one could predict the weather on a regular basis nor any other of life's daily events.  Apparently that was half the fun.  The unpredictability and uncertainty of it all, that was what was meant to keep people going.  Sure spontaneity and surprise had it's advantages but sometimes there was nothing better than a guarantee in life.  Of course these are few and far between but that is what makes them so great.  They are worth the wait.

If you waited long enough even the weather can be guaranteed.

In early October it is only guaranteed to rain if your car windows are down or your washing out.  This becomes void though if it is done on purpose.  Mind you the way the air hung so still there was no chance of rain tonight even if she had forgotten to get the washing in. Assuming of course she had actually managed to put a load on and hung it out.

It had been another long day.  Yet nothing was really accomplished.  She seemed to wade through life without ever touching the bottom or even the sides for that matter.  She certainly wasn't complaining though.  After all no one but herself was the master of her destiny.  Not even the fairies.  Sure they could lead her in the right direction but the choices to make were all her own.

Time and time again she had wished for them to just be able to tell her which choice to make but they never did. Nor would they ever.  It was always the same old answer.  "You must choose yourself, follow your heart"

How was she ever supposed to follow her heart when quite often her head was in disagreeance?

She got up.  Peeling her back from the plastic chair as she did.  How was it possible to sweat so much in such a short period of time?  She had only been sitting outside a few moments and already the sweat was pouring out of her like a leaky tap.

It had been nearly 170 days since it last rained.  Her body longed to feel the cool wet drops rain again.  Surely it wouldn't be to far away now.  It was a little late this year but not yet long overdue. They had gone much longer without rain before.  The year of '73 saw 203 days without rain.  When it did finally come though it didn't stop for a week.

The me day that wasn't

Today was supposed to be a me day.

A most perfect place for a bit of me time.

I had thought that I was on top of everything. You know, all the housework was out the way, washing under control and the majority of the dishes done and dusted. Leaving little old me free to do as I please. Free to write, or crochet, or sleep or whatever my little heart desires.

Sure there were more useful things I could have done, like clean out the pantry, the floors always need sweeping and all the rest of it. But all such things didn't have to be done if I didn't want to do them. I had thought that there was enough general order and things done, that I could let a few things slide and take the time to focus on me.

Only somewhere along the line I have somehow found endless crappy things to do. Turns out the only the way the washing was under control was if that meant spread all over the laundry floor with what appears to be half the local beach or school sand pit. Hard to tell the difference really, all I know is that there is sand everywhere and there shouldn't be.

From there I got asked to work later which made me start prepping dinner super early which meant I was alerted to the fact that the kitchen is almost in a state of disrepair. Apparently the aftermath of breakfast was more severe than I realised.

And then...

As if this wasn't all enough, I remember the play date that Teapot has lined up with a new friend who's mother I don't really know and will therefore invite in for coffee which means really I should make a bit of an effort to hide my lack of housekeeping enthusiasm.

Oh the sighing.

Monday morning ramble

I started writing this post about five minutes ago.

It began as a bit of a ramble about how this was the start of the last week of the school holidays and this made me both happy and sad. Blah blah blah.

Then I deleted it and checked my email. Seeing those little red notification icons on my apps drives me batty I must rid them instantaneously. Lucky for me I don't get a whole lot of emails so it is quite easy to stay on top of. This particular one was a weekly newsletter from a fellow blogger.

But now I am just starting to ramble (again)

It is not long after 8am and once again the house is filled with quiet as children catch up on sleep from excessive late nights. Which to me is one of the joys of school holidays. A chance to break free from routines and rules and just do whatever the hell we please.

I had hoped to use this time alone to transcribe the next chapter of my novel but I am too scared of making noise and waking the baby (who is actually a five year old). I have a groovy headset and program that means I can read the hard copy that I have out loud and my computer will magically type it out for me.

Unfortunately a month or so ago I did something to my back which has resulted in it being rather sore since then. Especially after sitting in front of the computer for more than five minutes. Which as you can imagine makes sitting down to write even more difficult than what I was already finding it.

All the sighs.

I feel like a bit of a fraud complaining about it because as always I think of all the other people out there with real problems and pain they have been battling with for much longer and harder than mine. I don't know why I always seem to think my issues are not as justified as everyone else's but I do.

More big sighs.

Anyways moving right along.

I feel I must apologise for the disjointedness of my writing at this point. Having been away from it for so long it feels like I don't know how to do it any more. I am constantly battling inside my own head that all the ideas and words I have are just not worth sharing. It is hard to ignore but trying I am. Fingers crossed that if I keep persevering before too long something of worth will come.

I hope you stick around and keep coming back till then.

joining in with Alicia 

Don't wake the baby!

Despite being nearly the end of the second last week of school holidays I somehow managed to force myself out of the comfort of my bed at a ridiculously early and ungodly hour of the morn. Well actually it was only a little after six but given the fact it is school holidays and all it does feel incredibly early. Especially given that it is overcast and cold. Summer hear has a lot to answer for but I will get to that later.

The reasons for my early rise are many, though mainly revolve around the need for housework to be done. That shit is never-ending isn't it?

So I had planned to make a nice early start on the dishes and washing and all manner of things that a super mum needs to take care of in-between ensuring the children are adequately fed, watered and entertained. Only Teapot decided that today would be the day that she elected to forgo her crack of dawn awakening and sleep in. As such I am too scared to do anything in case I make a noise and wake her.

After a few later than normal late nights combined with the fun and frivolity of school holiday freedoms she is quite possibly on the brink of exhaustion and in dire need of some catch up sleep. Her obedience is most certainly commendable though because as I was tucking her and Zany into bed last night I strongly suggested that they aim for staying asleep for at least ten hours and she has done exactly that. Bless her little cotton socks. I guess third time is a charm because the other two are by no means so compliant to some of my wishes as what she is.

Sigh. The joy of parenting.

Though naturally as I was bragging of her sleep in she has now awoken.

Oh well at least now I can get the washing on and and the dishes done. Oh yay! Said no one ever.

In further procrastination against what needed to be done (because let's face it the whole sleeping child thing really was nothing more than an excuse to sit in front of the computer rather than do chores, I stumbled across a link up hosted by Finding Myself Young and Life Behind the Purple Door. It is called #thisparentinglife and I think this post is just perfect to join in with it.

Procrastination at it's best

I sat down at least half an hour ago. The plan had been to write a list of the things I needed to do today. Lord knows there are plenty of them and more than anything I want to be organised and productive. It is the only way I am going to even have a chance of staying afloat and getting done all that is expected.

Mind you after taking far too many selfies with #SummertheBird who desperately wanted me to share my coffee with her I seem to have forgotten exactly what I thought was worthy of writing down. It goes without saying that there is washing to be done, because there is always washing to be done, be it washed, folded or put away, it is always there in some form if not all.

Much like the constant need to prepare food to feed the hungry and rarely satisfied masses with.

Sigh.

Oh and the dishes. How could I forget the dishes, another constant on the list of household jobs that all too often seem to consume our daily life. Or mine at least.

Cue even more sighing.

Much later in the day. Ok maybe not much just later, a little after lunch to be exact.

After scrawling the above in my notebook and flaffing about with a stupid dragon game The Little Two introduced me to I managed to do a few things that mildly resembled being productive. There was washing sorted and folded, some even made it to the cupboard, most didn't though, it is patiently sitting on my bed waiting for the girls to come home from school and see to it.

I also managed to sweep, clear most of the bench and lounge room as well as walk around in a daze not actually doing anything. All up I manage a good twenty minutes of work evenly spaced out over two hours. Not a bad effort really.

The last thirty minutes probably saw me achieve the most as hunger started to take hold. I had made a deal with myself that I couldn't eat till it at least looked a little like I had done something. The things we do hey?

Just another not so manic Monday

It's Monday morning. In a few short minutes the clock will be ticking over to nine. Which by most accounts is still relatively early. It does however feel as if I have been up for hours upon hours. Time is currently going painfully slow for me and I do not like it at all.

Last night went on forever.

After nearly two weeks of late nights and adjusting to night shifts I thought it would be wise to take the opportunity to have an early night and play sleep catch up. Dumbest idea ever. Apparently my body has decided that it doesn't need sleep for more than two hours at a time. Fun times right there.

Despite today being the start of the second week of school holidays, meaning I could have stayed in bed longer and prolonged the already longest night on earth, I rose with the sparrows, or at least Mr Awesome, as he does not have the blessing of school holidays and doing whatever it is his heart desires.

Tomorrow marks the six year anniversary of Dad's moving on to a better place. The end of his suffering as a mere mortal on this god for saken planet that lets the elderly linger on for what must feel like eternity for them as their bodies ever so slow stop working and start to shut down.

Death is such a funny thing. Especially in the elderly. 

I remember back to that fateful day and even through all my heart ache I felt a wave of relief wash over me. I was so glad that his pain had come to an end, that he would no longer have to suffer through each day wondering if it would be his last. Nor would I. 

For years my thoughts each day had been consumed with whether or not this would be the day that I had been dreading for as long I could remember. It was at times rather exhausting to say the least. Not to mention pointless but I it was a hard thing to shake. Fear is like that.

I was born when Dad was forty eight. A time in most people's life when becoming a parent is the last thing on their mind. 

Not my Dad though. 

He was forever saying he wasn't like everyone else. He was right. Over the next seven years he would go on to father two more children.

At the current tender age of thirty seven and with three children safely tucked under my belt, having more children is the last thing I want. I can't see that changing over the next ten years either. In ten years Teapot will be fifteen. The thought of starting over with the whole baby thing again then makes me shudder and want to curl up in a ball.

Not my Dad though. 

There was never any doubt as to how much he loved being a parent, even at that later stage in life. What's more is that it wasn't until I was well into my teens that I really started to realise just how much older he was compared to all my friends' fathers. 

He had always joked you are only as old as the woman you feel. For a long time I had just giggled not really understanding what it meant. My Mum is twenty one years his junior.

Generally speaking I go about my days not giving much thought to the fact that Dad is no longer with us. It is a part of life I have learnt to deal with. An inevitable part of life that I waited for, for so long that when it happened I just kept keeping on. At three and a half months pregnant I refused to feel grief for the fear of my unborn child having a sad soul.

Each year though as September draws to an end and October slowly gets underway I feel myself become somewhat consumed with an all encompassing sadness. All I can think of is my dear old Dad, how much I love him and how I will never ever get to see him again. Tears constantly well in my eyes begging for permission to roll down my cheeks. Rarely do I let them.

Except for when I write.

Writing is my solace. The place where I can truly be me. It gives me the chance to unravel my mind and find a place for my feelings to fit. It is my one true friend that lets me say what needs to be said.

Fifteen minutes

There are approximately seventeen and a half minutes till I need to depart for school pickup. Possibly twenty three if I committed to walking super fast and maybe even twenty five if I ran or rode the bike.

So obviously it is the perfect time to sit and try writing a blog post.

I think about blogging and writing all the time. Finding the time to do it is another story altogether.

I think back to my time in Darwin, before #ouradventureofalifetime and wonder how I ever managed to make as much time as I did to be online. Deep down I know the answer mind you.

It happened because there were so many other things I let slide. Namely relating to housework and tending to the every need and whim of children.

Now that we are renting, which means living in somebody else's house, I feel somewhat obliged to be a more dedicated housekeeper. After all, I am now responsible for their most valuable asset. Talk about pressure. And stupidity. Surely I should have been able to apply the same logic when I was responsible for maintaining my own most valuable asset?

Sigh.

Thankfully winter has passed and the onset of spring has well and truly put a spring in my step. It feels somewhat similar to the dry season back home. The air is filled with a freshness that words can't describe. Gentle breezes make sure that the clouds continually float on by leaving the sky a sparkling shade of light blue. I feel energised and ready to take on all that may be thrown my way.

I snapped this little guy yesterday while I was out in the garden bird watching and enjoying some sunshine

And that is how much I can write in fifteen minutes

No more excuses

For the first time in I don't know how long, Tuesday saw me opening up the laptop with the intention of actually writing something. Somehow the day had found me with a few spare minutes and my thoughts seemed gathered enough to actually share in a coherent fashion.

In one of the many blogging groups I am part of someone had shared a post saying they had written a post about all that happened to them in August and they had included a linky if anyone wanted to join in. Of course now I have no idea at all who that may have been.

Since it was Tuesday and I was blogging it meant that I could have also linked it with EssentiallyJess for IBOT and had a double whammy for getting people to drop by. Especially since it was a text conversation with Jess the day before that had inspired me to try and spit some words out. She's good like that.

Anyway, there I was, laptop open, words poised to start flowing and suddenly I found myself trying to design a new header.

Yep. I know. It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, but there I was fluffing around with some stupid new drawing program that I had no idea on how to use and getting frustrated at it not doing what I wanted.

It is fair to say I can be more than easily distracted.

Much like right now.

You see when I thought about starting this post it was going to be a somewhat deep and meaningful. I was going say something about the tragedy of Aylan and the horror of what is happening in Syria. Only I can't.

My head literally starts to hurt the moment I start to think of it all. My stomach churns, who is to say that the blessed life I live here couldn't just one day disappear because of the decisions made be the powers that be. Though this time I refer not to the celestial beings I normally call the powers that be but instead the politicians who are meant to be in charge of the nation's best interests.

While fighting with what words to use and where to start my washing machine kindly keeps beeping at me. Reminding me that the towels still need to be hung out. They would probably be dry by now if I had of gotten up at the first beep.

I so wanted to say something of worth though.

I wanted to stop making excuses for not making the time to write.

I guess at least some writing has occurred now so perhaps I should just be happy with that. There is still a floor to swept and mopped and of course the towels to be hung out. Oh and the dishes. There is always the dishes.

There are probably many displaced women who at the moment would give anything to have all of that as their biggest concerns. Talk about perspective. She says as she flits over to a new window and starts filling out a form to join an exercise group...

Words fail me

At nearly two weeks between posts this feels somewhat like the longest hiatus my dear little blog has been on in quite some time. I wish that there was some super exciting reason for my absence but there is not. At all.

The fact of the matter is that I just haven't been able to find they words. Sure for some of it I haven't even been able to find the time to look for the words but I haven't looked all that hard because I have known they are just not there.

It is fair to say that it makes me pretty sad as well.

It is also fair to say I don't really know what to do about it all which is why I am here now slowly dribbling away in the hope that I may just be able to put an end to it all.

The problem I think, is comparison and self doubt. There are a lot great and amazing writers out there that are kicking all kinds of goals with their great posts. They are funny, hard hitting, inspiring, heart moving, well written posts that are everything I feel mine are not, and possibly never were.

Excuse me while I go and have a mini tantrum complete with foot stamping and screaming much like a two year old who was just told ice cream was not a breakfast option.

image found here thanks to J Miller

Right that feels better, now where was I?

Since beginning this post I have been privy to approximately 52 arguments between Teapot and Zany, made more coffee, helped Mother with a computer issue and seen to breakfast orders. Not to mention supervising the clean up operation of the half gallon of orange juice that was conveniently tipped all over the place by a child insisting they were capable of pouring their own drink.

No wonder I lost my train of thought.

Procrastination and whining at it's best

My Mum arrives this afternoon, which really  means the last thing I should be doing is sitting here trying to write. Which naturally just makes me want to write even more. There are still floors to mop, washing to fold and put away, beds to make, teenagers to convince to give up their bedroom for a bit. You know all the usual stuff.

Before I had the brilliant idea to write I had the even more ingenious idea to start a little blanket for the bird. Because, well, it is cold here and surely she must be feeling it as much as us. The fact that she keeps trying to crawl inside socks the girls so kindly leave laying all over the place is possibly testament to that.

Unfortunately though I when I walked away from my ball of wool to see to whatever child was having a problem five minutes ago the bird saw it as a prime opportunity to run off with my ball of wall. She deftly managed to drag it under the couch before I returned. I didn’t have the heart to pull it away from her.

After three months of not being on the road I guess life is well and truly settled into a new normality. I am still not exactly how much I like it. Not necessarily because we are here, I think I would feel the same regardless of where we are. It is just the whole being stopped thing that I am not a fan of.

Sigh.

Oh so much sighing.

I have just discovered that my coffee cup is empty. 

Oh the tragedy!!!

In my current apathetic state of mind I feel completely unable to do anything about it as well. I may also have made a promise to myself that I the moment I leave the comfort and safety of my arm chair I will actually do something productive. A promise I really don’t want to break.

Back to sighing.

Brain emptying done wrong

This image, of flood plains out at Kakadu, has very little to do with anything in the post, I just like it. A lot.

I have been sitting here (not here as in the above image, just here as in my lounge) with the laptop open on my lap for nearly forty five minutes now. I had a scroll through the Bidding Wars page to see if there were any bargains I needed to bid on. There wasn't but it took quite a time to decide that.

From there I went and had a quick look to see if there was anything of interest in my newsfeed. There wasn't. Sarah over at Move Fuel Love, had shared a photo of Darwin sunset and the current temperature. It made me want to stab her eyeballs just a little.

It rained for 30 seconds this morning in Darwin and at almost 8pm it's currently 28C. BUT the sunsets sure are pretty  This is Winter in the Top End.

Posted by Move Fuel Love on Monday, 15 June 2015

Not only was the sunset amazing, as Darwin sunsets so often are, but at nearly 8pm it was still twenty eight degrees. Twenty eight god dam degrees!!! The only way I can even get close to such a delightful warmth is if I have the air con cranking up that high.

Oh how times change.

There once was a time when I had the air con cranking at eighteen degrees because I so desperately wanted to snuggle under a doona. Now I have it as high as I can, which actually happens to be only twenty six degrees, just so I don't have to wear five hundred layers of clothes.

It would be fair to say that winter and I are not the best of friends. I mean I do love being able to go for a run bang smack in the middle of the day and not dying from heat exhaustion but there is just a small part of me that is longing to be just a little bit warm without having to stand under scolding hot water. Because FYI it turns out that constantly showering in scolding hot water leads to a rather dry scalp which then in turn leads to dandruff.

There was no dandruff in my hair when I lived in the tropics and it bugs me insanely that my locks are constantly infiltrated with little white flakes now.

Sigh.

When I started this post, oh so long ago now, thanks to the concentration of a goldfish and being called on to go pick up the husband from hockey, I had planned on joining in with the ever so lovely Miss Cinders for her monthly emptying of the brain. Only when I went there just now I realised I completely and utterly missed the brief.

I thought (very wrongly) that it was a free association writing thing where you just sat and wrote whatever hair brain idea passed between your ears. As I have so clearly done. But it is not. Well not entirely. There are some loose statements to answer.

Double sigh.

Luckily I have more than one blog so I can pop over to APL and do it there. And even more luckily (totes acceptable grammar in the blog world btw) it is Tuesday and I have blogged so I can join in with EssentiallyJess and the IBOT gang

Thankful Thursday

Another Thursday is rolling round and rather than have my post already written, scheduled and live on the blog I am sitting on my couch wondering what it is I am going to be thankful for this week.

The possibilities are almost endless. It has been another rather lovely week here. Nothing overly spectacular but nothing overly awful either. Though there were are few awful moments, like when the car didn't pass it's registration inspection.

Sigh.

Thankfully though after forking out quite a few hundred dollars the mechanic was able to fix everything that was wrong and then pass it. Even more thankfully Mr Awesome's dad, who I guess could be referred to Mr Awesome Senior, kindly helped us with finding the necessary few hundred dollars.

Other good things to happen in the week include

• getting the hot water system and toilet fixed
• having plenty of crochet time
• some new watercolour pencils, though a good colouring book currently eludes me
• getting a top up on our broad band which means I can spend today continuing my How I Met Your Mother marathon
• Mr Awesome cleaning the kitchen last night so I can enjoy my marathon relatively guilt free
• scoring a blender, scales with a mixing bowl and an electric beater for $20
• getting electric blankets for our beds before winter proper arrives 

What about you?

An InLinkz Link-up

Good coffee most definitely means a good Friday

It's Good Friday today. A day that has seen the Little Two and Mr A make very good friends with the couch and television. Excitement levels may have hit a new high when they realised that there was a Shaun the Sheep marathon on. Personally Shaun and his buddies do little for me. I need dialogue when I am watching television. Namely because when I am watching television I am actually doing something else and merely just listening to the dreaded box. A show without words is no good to a listener.

For me the day has pretty much involved sitting in front of the laptop. Firstly helping Mr A get his resume to a point where he could send it off to prospective employers. Then creating my own and doing the same. Job searching is a hard nerve wracking pastime. I hope that the powers that be send us employment sooner rather than later.

Too much of the good life has me suddenly worrying that our funds are in too short a supply. I keep trying to trust that all will be okay but I would much rather have some firm confirmation for my beliefs.

Sigh.

Of course now I worry about every word I write here. Being a "Top Blogger" is one of my most long standing jobs. Though of course it is not really a job, much more of a hobby. I include it mainly to show that I have been doing something in recent years, not just sitting around twiddling my thumbs. Not that being a mother is really sitting around twiddling my thumbs but since it is not paid employment either I wonder how I can make myself sound employable.

Double sigh.

On the up side it does feel nice to be writing again. With #ouradventureofalifetime coming to a temporary end life has been beyond hectic. I have missed just randomly sharing my thoughts and feeling here.

Thankfully we have a house sorted. Sadly we are unable to move in for just over a week still. We have one bed, a fridge and washing machine sorted though so it feels like all the big stuff is taken care of. Most importantly though a coffee machine has been sorted.

Yet another day in paradise

Today was not unlike yesterday. Lots of relaxing and just being with each other. Mr Awesome decided he wanted to try his hand at fishing. Primarily because one of the old locals gave him some bait and told him how to find his ‘secret’ location.

Personally I am only a fan of fishing if there is a guarantee that fish will be caught. I couldn’t see that this was a guaranteed situation so Lovely and I decided to hang back at camp for awhile. Mr A and the two little ones headed off to the furthest end of the beach they could find.

I probably used my relatively unattended time wisely and did something like crochet or read. While Lovely did some reading of her own or perhaps colouring in. It is a little hard to recall the finer details of it all because I am actually typing this up some hundred and seventy days after it actually occurred. #keepingitreal

Before too long Lovely was complaining of starvation which led me to think the others would be doing the same. In a bid to enter the mother and wife of the year I decided to prepare some food and take it down to the hunters. Lovely decided that packet pasta was the preferred dining option for all so we set about whipping some up.

While some might have found it a little strange to head to the beach with a saucepan of pasta to me it seemed perfectly reasonable. In fact I thought the others would be all kinds of excited to have a pasta picnic on the sand. Well apart from Zany who is not really a fan but I had a few tins of tuna and corn to tide her over.

As suspected the hunger pains had begun to ravish the other two so we were more than welcomed with our meagre offerings of food. As was also suspected no fish had yet been caught. A fun time had been had by all though so little else really mattered.

Lovely in the open topped rock cave

Once every one had finished eating I had the brilliant idea to wash the bowls in the rather roughish surf. Unfortunately I didn’t have the brilliant idea to hold onto the bowls tightly while I washed them in the rather roughish surf and not one but two bowls were ripped out of my fingertips and washed out to sea.

With the dishes taken care of I set about exploring some of the rocks with the girls. There was one particular area where the rocks formed a little open top cave. Lovely thought this was a prime place to try her modelling. There is no denying that the girl is incredibly photogenic.

All the photo taking on a secluded beach made me think of my mate Coombsey and his Naked Tuesday Page. Even though it wasn’t technically a Tuesday I decided to get my gear of and snap a couple of shots to share. Combsey has been diagnosed with terminal cancer but rather than just roll over and give up the ghost he is determined to get out there and make the rest of his life, the best of his life. I motto which I find rather inspiring and try to abide by as much as possible as well.

A photo posted by @aparentinglife on Sep 22, 2014 at 4:37pm PDT

The waves and the wind turned out to be far to rough for fish catching so Mr A packed up and headed home with us all in tow. Weary from a day on the sand and in the sun but full of love and happiness.

It's Tuesday and while I haven't got my gear off I have managed to sort a blog post, which is my other favourite past time for Tuesdays as it means I get to join in with Essentially Jess for IBOT

Day 47

Tranquility and peace surrounds. Lots of cuddles from everyone and lots of nothing to be done. Pure bliss. Sitting out overlooking the ocean I couldn’t help but feel like we were on the edge of the world. Or at very least the edge of Australia. Which was weird because obviously any coastline is the edge of the country but never before had I felt it so obviously.

There was just something about the rugged red rocks of James Price Point that made me feel like I was standing on the very edge of something incredibly special.

After coffee and breakfast the girls took me down the cliffs to show me the areas they had exploded before I arrived. Walking along with the soft sand between my toes and gentle breeze blowing in my face I felt all my worries of the previous week blow off into the water and washed forever away in the ways.

Life felt good. Actually even better than good. Near on perfect in fact.

Before long however it was like I had never been away and the constant demand for food slowly began to wear me down. As was the never getting a minute to myself. Thankfully my time away had given me the opportunity to recharge my patience and understanding jars.

Watching the sun set into the water was pretty much the perfect end to a perfect day in paradise.

Not existing, trying to focus, and galahs

With less than a week to go here in Sunny Karratha it is fair to say I am just a little bit excited. I mean don’t get me wrong Karratha is a lovely little place but for now my time here has just about expired. 

one thing I will miss when we leave

Mr Awesome’s temporary return to the workforce was a brutal reminder of just how much I like having him round 24/7. And not just me either. While the girls haven’t said anything their behaviour suggests that they had become accustomed to having him around all the time as well.

The fact that our days of late have involved whole stacks of nothing may of course have something to do with all of this as well.

In a bid to conserve money we have been trying to spend as much time as possible at home. Which is all well and good apart from when home is a tiny little caravan and most days the temperature reaches forty degrees.

Thankfully there have been a few other kids around so the girls have been able to make a few friends here and there to break up the boredom. Of course their friends inevitably move on though and then devastation ensues because they will never be seen again. Devastation that lasts only till the next van of kids come in I might add. It’s a later, rinse, repeat thing.

Rather than making most of the available downtime and catching up with all my words still waiting to be written I have busily been telling myself of for my lack of productivity. Why I don’t just use the energy to actually do something I have no idea. I guess it is much easier to come up with pathetically weak excuses and then chastise myself for my stupidity.

As much as I try and tell myself that it doesn’t matter if no one reads the blog any more, it does. It makes me all kinds of sad to think that I have failed to find a way to entice people in. But that is perhaps just the story of my life. I somehow fail to entice people in on all kinds of levels.

There are only two people from home that have contacted me since I left. Mind you I have not exactly been writing letters home either, but I did have a fanciful notion that the odd person might have left a little Facebook message here and the inquiring about my travels. Of course I also thought a few might have wished me well before I left but they didn’t. It’s almost like I just ceased to exist.

But enough of all this poor bugger me.

There are people out there fighting real battles, two of which have recently approached me to share their story. Neither of which I have done yet. The thought of failing NaNoWriMo (yet again) has had me avoiding the laptop like it is the plague. 

Today however is a new day and I will treat it as such. I will let go of all my preconceived fears and ridiculous thoughts that continually hold me back and I will take action.

Starting now.

Stay tuned.

Fitzroy Crossing

With great reluctance we leave the beauty of Mary Ponds and head on towards Fitzroy Crossing.  We will set up camp for a few days here and do a few day trips back on to the Gibb River Road and check out Tunnel Creek and Windjana Gorge.

The options of places to stay are rather limited so we decided to check out the Fitzroy Crossing Lodge (as opposed to the Fitzroy Crossing Inn). Though in all honesty the real deciding factor between the two was that we happened to come across the Lodge first. Which actually made Mr Awesome a bit happy because he had read good things about it on Wiki Camps which is essentially a bit of a bible app for us of.

Turns out all that Wiki Camps had said was true and it was quite a lovely set up. Particularly since when we arrived there were lots of empty spaces so it appeared to be quite spacious.

We were given the luxury of selecting our own site and after much deliberation went with one that was well away from everyone else and under the shade of a tree.

Unfortunately as it turns out we actually managed to place ourselves in the middle of two sites. Something we were not told about until we were set up and unable to move. Mind you it did not stop a van being slotted in right next to us a little later on.

Shortly after we arrived a road train carrying aviation fuel had an accident just passed Fitzroy Crossing. While no one was injured the road was closed and suddenly the empty caravan park began to fill up. As fuel was all over the road there was the possibility of it being shut for up to twenty four hours.

After a quick trip into town for some fresh milk and ice for our drinking water we quickly discovered that much like Halls Creek there was no take away alcohol available for sale. A fact that only really made us sad because it was a Friday night and there was football we wanted to watch.

Thankfully there was a pub attached to the Lodge so we went up and watched the game there. As a special treat (mainly for me) we also had dinner there. I can not begin to explain how excited I was not to be cooking for the night.

The other notable mention for Fitzroy Crossing was seeing two old school Fords pull up towing caravans! I am not normally much of a Ford girl but there was something rather impressive about touring around the country in these old girls.

Things I Know In 15 Minutes

Just a super quick post from me today. One that I hope to write in only fifteen minutes.

Since it is the last official day of school holiday (weekends and public holidays don't really count as school holidays) I am taking the kids to an indoor play centre. Not exactly my most preferred thing to do but it is raining and it is a friend's birthday and they asked as if we were interested in helping them celebrate there so why not.

image found here

So what is it that I know this week?

I know that looking for a photo to include in my post is sometimes the longest part of getting a post published.

I know that I am not really looking forward to the return of school.

I know that the reason why I am not looking forward to the return of school because I am not a fan of the morning rush .

I know I would like it if school started at around ten rather than just after eight.

I know that writing every day has gone much better this week than last.

I know that I am super thankful to the wonderful bloggers that join in and support Thankful Thursday each week.

I know that I didn't get to read any of said bloggers yesterday because I was out getting school stuff sorted.

I know that if you forget to check the time before you start writing it makes it very tricky to time when you have written for fifteen minutes.

I know that an iTunes card for a boy's thirteenth birthday is a bit of a cop out, but really I am all out of ideas and at least I know he will love the card.

I know I should have thought before his actual birthday to ask for suggestions of what to get. So go on tell me what would have been a better gift?

I know that I am joining in with the ever lovely Miss Cinders and you should too