Procrastination and whining at it's best

My Mum arrives this afternoon, which really  means the last thing I should be doing is sitting here trying to write. Which naturally just makes me want to write even more. There are still floors to mop, washing to fold and put away, beds to make, teenagers to convince to give up their bedroom for a bit. You know all the usual stuff.

Before I had the brilliant idea to write I had the even more ingenious idea to start a little blanket for the bird. Because, well, it is cold here and surely she must be feeling it as much as us. The fact that she keeps trying to crawl inside socks the girls so kindly leave laying all over the place is possibly testament to that.

Unfortunately though I when I walked away from my ball of wool to see to whatever child was having a problem five minutes ago the bird saw it as a prime opportunity to run off with my ball of wall. She deftly managed to drag it under the couch before I returned. I didn’t have the heart to pull it away from her.

After three months of not being on the road I guess life is well and truly settled into a new normality. I am still not exactly how much I like it. Not necessarily because we are here, I think I would feel the same regardless of where we are. It is just the whole being stopped thing that I am not a fan of.

Sigh.

Oh so much sighing.

I have just discovered that my coffee cup is empty. 

Oh the tragedy!!!

In my current apathetic state of mind I feel completely unable to do anything about it as well. I may also have made a promise to myself that I the moment I leave the comfort and safety of my arm chair I will actually do something productive. A promise I really don’t want to break.

Back to sighing.

From paradise to snapped cables

Moving day. Today we leave paradise as we know it and return to Broome. Which is, in it’s own way, still a type of paradise. It just involves a lot more people. The solitude of Cape Leveque is one of the aspects I love most about it. Though I imagine in the height of peak season there is not nearly as much solitude.

With all the beauty and tranquility of staying at Koolijaman for the last four days I had completely and utterly forgotten about the road we would need to take to get back to Broome.

O.M.G.

It is still horrendous. Perhaps even worse. Though now because Mr A knows it he goes a little faster. This both terrifies and pleases me. Pleases because it means we will get off it faster and terrifies me because sandy narrow road full of dips and potholes. Sometimes I hate being a passenger. At least as a driver I am the one in control.

Lots of deep breaths.

In the end I decide that having a little nap is probably in my best interest. It is easier to block out what is going on and gives me a chance to talk to the fairies and ask for their protection. As much as I know the worrying is all pointless I can’t help it. Mr A is an experienced driver and knows how to handle Patty and Edna and the roads and deep down I do have faith and trust in his ability but still I worry.

Looking on the bright side of it all though it gives me a great chance to work on some visualisation techniques.

Eventually we leave the road to hell and return to the civilisation of solid roads. The harrowing road has taken it’s toll on all of us though and we are all super grumpy and irritated.

Since we had such a lovely time at the Roebuck Bay Caravan Park last time we were in Broome we decided to head back there. As we approach though there is a line up of vans and motorhomes waiting to check in.

Thankfully there was plenty of room still available and we were able to secure the same wonderful location as what we had the other week. All is starting to feel right again with the world, though the children are in a particularly dire way and complaining of dying of starvation. I start to lecture them on what it would really feel like to be in such a predicament and explain that really they are just hungry but decide I don’t really have the energy.

We set about unhitching Edna and getting ready to unpack. Only everyone is too busy complaining and grumbling to concentrate properly and suddenly there is an almighty snapping sound in one of the corners.

Mr A stops winding up Edna’s top and we both head to the corner where the sound came from. It turns out that on of the roof clips was not undone and we have now snapped on of the cables which means the roof will not go up. 

Shit. Bugger. Fuck.

I walk down to reception to get the name and number of the caravan repairer. All the while trying to lay any blame or get worked up. These things happen. After fifty two days on the road it is only to be expected that something go wrong somewhere and if this is it then so be it. There are so many worse things that could have happened to us.

The caravan repair man doesn’t answer his phone and we walk around scratching our heads not sure of what to do. Our neighbour, who arrived at about the same time starts to make small talk about how we are.

Turns out that he was once a mechanic and pops on over to have a look at our predicament. In an instant he offers a suggestion on how it could be fixed and before we know it Mr A and I are able to see things a little differently and all hope is no longer lost.

We plugged the fridge in and head straight for Bunnings to get some little u-bolt thing that will be able to re-join the snapped cable. I drop Mr A back at the van and take the girls to get some golden arches while he fixes it all.

While I am out and about I manage to find a car wash and hose of the salt and sand from Cape Leveque and refuel the car. By the time we return Edna’s roof is up and most of the unpacking is done and all seems right with the world once again.

A tantrum of epic proportions

Really I should be all kinds of pleased with myself after today’s efforts. I ran 5km to return an overdue DVD and then turned around and moved myself back home. I didn’t actually run as much on the way home but I didn’t catch a taxi either. It also marked the third day in a row of me getting out and moving. So really all kinds of things to celebrate.

But I am not. 

Instead I am here moaning and carrying on. 

Much like Teapot did earlier today when I insisted she have a piece of fruit before cabana. Or Zany did yesterday when it was discovered I had not gotten a DVD for them like I had said I would the day before. Monumental tantrums they were. Monumental I tell you. Much like how I feel like carrying on right now.

Yesterday Mr Awesome took the car to the mechanics. There has been a rather dreadful sound as we change gears of late. A really grating grinding kind of sound that hurts your ears and makes you shudder. From the inspection yesterday it was determined that it could maybe have been one of two things. One was really cheap and the other was ridiculously expensive. 

Naturally it turned out that it was both options.

insert a wide range of swear words with lots of the f word thrown in for good measure.

We won’t get an exact price until we pick the car up tomorrow. A ball park figure though is around the $3000-4000 mark.

insert more unfavourable language I prefer not to use on the blog.

Deep breath.

And again.

To make things even more frustrating there is a chance that Mr Awesome could get some work here. Only when we made enquiries at the van park as to how much their weekly rate was we were told it was nearly double what we are currently being charged.

Yep I kid you not.

At the moment we are paying $156 for four nights, which works out to be $39 a night. Which quite frankly is a bargain. So far we have paid for 8 nights totalling $312. When I asked today what a weekly rater would be I was told it would be $415 for a week. Which works out to be $59.29 a night.

For FFS!

Cue another swear word filled rant.

Lots more deep breaths.

Another moving day.

It is hard not to feel cranky on moving days. They are after all part and parcel of being on the road and living the gypsy life.

Moving days all start the same.

Mr Awesome wakes up bright and early and tries his best to encourage everyone else to leave the warmth and comfort of their bed. For me he does this by putting Billy on and making coffee. Which generally works a treat. For the girls it is a little trickier and involves repeatedly asking them to get up and get breakfast. Eventually as the tone in his voice gets less friendlier they relent and drag themselves out.

From there it is all go go.

Everyone has their own jobs and while they should just get on with them they often need a bit of pushing.I look forward to the point in time when they will just do it. I am sure eventually it will come.

As you can imagine leaving this won't be easy

Today we say not only good bye to Kununurra for the final time but also our lovely neighbours.

Bev and Brian arrived at the van park about fifteen minutes after us. Their mates Wyn and Kev about half hour later. They way we all set our areas up an outsider would have assumed that we all knew each other. Our living areas seemed to all face each other and connect up to one big space.

Honestly by the time we left it felt like we had known them forever or at least close to it. They both gave us their addresses so when we are in there neck of the woods we can catch up again. 

I wish that I had of asked to take their photo. I had the opportunity when they asked for ours but yet I just couldn’t find the words. I guess because if I had their photo I would want to share it on the blog and then I would have had to ask them if that was ok. Which in turn would have led to me giving them the address which given they were ex school teachers I just didn’t feel confident about.

My writing confidence has taken a terrible dive of late. I had expected this trip to present me with all kinds of inspirational things to share. Sadly that has not been the case. 

By the time dinner is done and children are in bed it is too cold and I am too tired to think of anything coherent to say. I guess there is still time and with that hope.

Excuse me while I wallow just a little. Or a lot.

As I sat waiting to see McDreamy the other day I decided to use my time wisely and start writing my #IBOT post for Tuesday. Even though I am having trouble fitting in adequate commenting I just can't fight the desire to join on in. I had made an agreement with myself earlier in the day to do so as long as I read an article or two for my current assignment.

Given that it is already over due (though I have kindly been granted an extension) I really need to just knuckle and down and do it. With hindsight I am wondering if returning to study right now really was one of my wisest moves. Live and learn I guess.

Truth be told I have been using a lot of hindsight of late to assess my decisions and just quietly it is not looking so great for most of them. Mind you it could also have something to do with the fact I am just beating particularly hard on myself today.

You see the post that I wrote at the doctor's didn't save. Well I guess a more accurate description is that I failed to save because failure is one of the few things I am good at doing at the moment.

Yesterday I ran my second City2Surf, just over 12km in distance. Though when I say run maybe a more apt description would be shuffle. I went a whole second slower than last year. A full twelve months longer at being a runner and I go a second slower.

It is hard for me not to call myself a loser.

I know that the scheme of things a whole second is not really here nor there. I should just be stoked for even making to the end. And I guess in some ways I am. But when it seems like everyone else is going faster and smashing through their PB's it is hard to be pleased with just finishing.

Mr Awesome snapped this as. Bless him.
This was at about the 9.5km mark.
I used every ounce of my being to make an effort to not look buggered as
I ran by them. 

I should have done better.

I could have done better if I had of trained a little more. Or at all really.

I should have trained more but it was easier to make weak excuses.

I work most afternoons and nights. I like to run of an evening. Getting up early in the morning is just too hard. Teapot doesn't ride her bike well enough and we no longer have a pram for her so running after school drop off is no longer an option either. Not to mention it is probably to hot then anyway.

Blah, blah, blah.

Eating a packet of chips most nights that I work probably hasn't helped much either. Nor the bottles of coke I drink to help me stay awake. But what is a bored girl to do?

Cue deep sighs and even more deep breaths and the hope that I don't hyperventilate.

Just between you and me right now I feel like I am floundering. Actually I feel completely overwhelmed and have just passed the point of drowning. If you and I were having this conversation in person, all of that would have been said with a f-bomb thrown in at least five times.

Only we aren't having this conversation in person because I am a person free zone at the moment and feel completely abandoned and alone.

Cue tears and more hyperventilation.

All of which I know to be ridiculous because there will probably be at least three people reading this who will wonder why I didn't call them or message them or something them. Till they remember that I am not really a calling or messaging type of person. I am a talk to you face to face type of person, or pour it all out here. Sadly there are no people near me any more to talk to in person.

Oh and while I am being a crybaby have I mentioned that based on some of Lovely's behaviours of late I am a relatively shit parent as well. She has lost all interest in school and following any direction I request of her just seems to go against her inner being. The joys of having a teenager.

Mind you apparently Zany's school work is leaving something to be desired as well. Given that when I picked her up today her teacher requested I make an appointment to see her to discuss her report. Joy of joys right there. I am relatively certain she is just trying to ease the pain of the report containing D's.

I know this because another parent from the class recently had to have the same discussion. I shall however save my thoughts on the grading system of the curriculum for another day. It is safe to say it is a conversation that involves quite a lot of swearing on my part.

For now though I am sure I have carried on more than enough. I must have done because I feel slightly more human and able to cope.

So please excuse me while I pick my bedraggled and sorry for myself ass up off the floor and quickly slap together something for the troops to have for dinner while I traipse off to work yet again.

For some other great posts though make sure you check out all the IBOT fun over at Essentially Jess

Oh the emo.

With January done and dusted and Feburary already on the way I am sure it won't be too long before I find myself only days away from embarking on trip of a life time. Which just between you and me does send my heart into slight palpitations.

Not because I don't want to go, because I do, more than anything. In fact waiting till July may actually be some sort of silent torture that I fail to remain silent on. The cause of my palpitations is money. I am starting to worry about how on this green earth we are going to be able to afford not working for twelve months.

Saving has never been one of my strongest points.

Actually anything that involves dedication or commitment or any type of patiences is not really my strong point. But then again right now in my current frame of mind I would probably fail to think of any strong point I may have. Well at least a positive one.

Exhale.

Deep breath in.

Repeat.

Of course deep down I know that is not true, I have all kinds of amazing strong points. Not only that but the fact that I have kept this little old blog running for so long quite possibly means I do have some inkling of dedication or commitment...maybe.

I guess that was why the writing every day in January was of such importance to me. It was my own internal benchmark for knowing I had actually done something on a regular basis. While there are three days without a post here, not to mention a few days of frenzied back posting as I approached the middle of my quest, I am still going to call it a raging success.

For while I may not have got here for those three days, I was posting elsewhere and I also managed to compile a page with links to some of my greatest and finest posts. Well at least according to me. So on many levels I guess that is a kind of winning.

As is the fact that February is off to a flying start!