Tuesday, April 29

Living in the moment, planning for the future

Before too long this will be
my constant view
Lately these words seem to be constantly floating around my pretty little head. Living for the moment, planning for the future. I can't help but wonder if it is possible to do both. To me they just don't seem to go together.

There is no denying that I am very much a live for the moment kind of girl. I always have been. And for the most part it has served me well. Sure there have been occasions when I wished I stopped and thought about the consequences of the moment a little more while I was living it but on the whole it has served me well.

But what happens when the moment you are living in is not really as great as what you like but you can't do anything about it because it is all part of the plan for the future?

As a regular reader you would have probably heard about my impending #adventureofalifetime. Due to said trip I have returned to regular paid employment for the first time in over eight years.

I have always known that I was blessed to not have to work, until I went back to work though I just never really understood how blessed I was.

While I really enjoy the actual working side of things, at least at the start of the week, there is so much of it that I don't enjoy. Like all the extra organisation that is needed. The intricate planning of childcare arrangements and them being picked up (we only have one car), making sure dinner is organised on the nights I am working, less time to squeeze in a load of washing that should have been done days ago. All the little things that quite honestly I struggled with before I added twenty hours a week out of the house into the mix.

I don't like the rushing here and there, the having to be at another place at a particular time. The dump and run policy I have had to adopt at school because there is just no possible way I feel I could squeeze anything else into my precious time. The fact that sometimes when I drop Zany off at school I know I won't actually see her again until we wake up the next morning.

On top of all of that working makes me tired and cuts into my running time. Neither of which please me greatly.

I keep telling myself that it is all only short term and all for such a very valid reason. The end result of a few hard months will be well and truly worth it.

Deep down I know it to be true.

It's just I don't like living in a moment that involves waiting for the future.