The me day that wasn't

Today was supposed to be a me day.

A most perfect place for a bit of me time.

I had thought that I was on top of everything. You know, all the housework was out the way, washing under control and the majority of the dishes done and dusted. Leaving little old me free to do as I please. Free to write, or crochet, or sleep or whatever my little heart desires.

Sure there were more useful things I could have done, like clean out the pantry, the floors always need sweeping and all the rest of it. But all such things didn't have to be done if I didn't want to do them. I had thought that there was enough general order and things done, that I could let a few things slide and take the time to focus on me.

Only somewhere along the line I have somehow found endless crappy things to do. Turns out the only the way the washing was under control was if that meant spread all over the laundry floor with what appears to be half the local beach or school sand pit. Hard to tell the difference really, all I know is that there is sand everywhere and there shouldn't be.

From there I got asked to work later which made me start prepping dinner super early which meant I was alerted to the fact that the kitchen is almost in a state of disrepair. Apparently the aftermath of breakfast was more severe than I realised.

And then...

As if this wasn't all enough, I remember the play date that Teapot has lined up with a new friend who's mother I don't really know and will therefore invite in for coffee which means really I should make a bit of an effort to hide my lack of housekeeping enthusiasm.

Oh the sighing.

Monday morning ramble

I started writing this post about five minutes ago.

It began as a bit of a ramble about how this was the start of the last week of the school holidays and this made me both happy and sad. Blah blah blah.

Then I deleted it and checked my email. Seeing those little red notification icons on my apps drives me batty I must rid them instantaneously. Lucky for me I don't get a whole lot of emails so it is quite easy to stay on top of. This particular one was a weekly newsletter from a fellow blogger.

But now I am just starting to ramble (again)

It is not long after 8am and once again the house is filled with quiet as children catch up on sleep from excessive late nights. Which to me is one of the joys of school holidays. A chance to break free from routines and rules and just do whatever the hell we please.

I had hoped to use this time alone to transcribe the next chapter of my novel but I am too scared of making noise and waking the baby (who is actually a five year old). I have a groovy headset and program that means I can read the hard copy that I have out loud and my computer will magically type it out for me.

Unfortunately a month or so ago I did something to my back which has resulted in it being rather sore since then. Especially after sitting in front of the computer for more than five minutes. Which as you can imagine makes sitting down to write even more difficult than what I was already finding it.

All the sighs.

I feel like a bit of a fraud complaining about it because as always I think of all the other people out there with real problems and pain they have been battling with for much longer and harder than mine. I don't know why I always seem to think my issues are not as justified as everyone else's but I do.

More big sighs.

Anyways moving right along.

I feel I must apologise for the disjointedness of my writing at this point. Having been away from it for so long it feels like I don't know how to do it any more. I am constantly battling inside my own head that all the ideas and words I have are just not worth sharing. It is hard to ignore but trying I am. Fingers crossed that if I keep persevering before too long something of worth will come.

I hope you stick around and keep coming back till then.

joining in with Alicia 

Interview with a Blogger

Well actually it is an interview with me. Which I guess doesn't make the title inaccurate, just a little  weird because I imagine you are wondering why on earth I would interview myself. Well I haven't. I have however been going through some old files on Mac and the following just happened to be uncovered. For the life of my I can't recall who was so kind to be interviewing me but I am sure it would have made my day.

Because I have nothing better to do
(bahahaha yeah right there are a thousand other things I should be doing right now)
it made perfect sense to create a collage of me from July 2013

The file was last modified on 7pm 9th July 2013. Even though it is only two and a half years ago it feels like a lifetime ago. We would have still been back in Darwin, somehow managing to squeeze into a two bedroom townhouse. Our adventure of a lifetime (which fyi I struggle to write without a #) was still just a pipe dream that was edging closer with every day. With 376 days till our actual departure day I am pretty sure that on this particular day it was still just that, a pipe dream.

But I am digressing.

As I am furiously procrastinating at the moment as well as desperate from some blog fodder, turning the interview into a blog post seemed like a natural progression.

So with out further ado here is an interview with 2013 me.

Name: Rhianna

Blog: A Parenting Life

Blog address: http://www.aparentinglife.com

Blurb about you/your blog: 

Sharing the ups and downs on the road of life as one mother dreams of writing fame. Hoping for the best, forgetting the worst and making the best of come what may. A light hearted look into being a SAHM that wants to fill the world with fairy wishes and butterfly kisses

If you could have named yourself when you were born, what would youhave called yourself? Uhmmm, probably Rhianna, because seriously it is one of the coolest names ever. I have always loved my name. I was 26 before I met another Rhianna and that just makes me feel all kinds of special.

You have won 1 million dollars, but you can only buy ONEthing with it – yes a single item- the rest has to be given away to ONEcharity…. What ONE thing would you buy, and what ONE charity would you donate the rest of the funds to? 

A house and if there were by chance any left over I would donate it to the Love Your Sister campaign. I wish that I could be selfless and say I would just buy a chocolate bar and donate the rest but a house really would be wonderful. I am fairly certain I could find something to live in for around $750,00 and then donate the rest.

Show us the messiest bit of your house as it looks right now 

Seriously! That would mean getting up getting my phone then waiting for the photo to upload to the photo stream and in between all of that I will more than likely get distracted and forget what I am doing and never send this back. I

Could you live the rest of your life never eating your favourite food again… ever? Yep. I can't even think what my favourite food is right now. I am of the opinion that any and all food is good food and if it is in front of me it is my favourite.

You have passed over into the afterlife, you have no choice but to be reincarnated…. You get to choose between two things, unfortunately the choice is between being a flea or a cockroach. Which one would you choose? 

A cockroach for sure. Those things have more lives than cats and can get into anything. Oh the fun you could have.

Show us your favourite pair of shoes 

Favourite pair of what? I live in the tropics, it is thongs or barefoot. Having said that I love my runners

What song can you not help but sing every single time you hear it? 

Dumb ways to way

If aliens do exist, and if they are watching the human race right now, what do you think they’d be thinking about us? 

Not a lot.

Would you wear a onsie out in public? 

Why not?

And lastly, but not at all leastly… Does the tooth fairy really exist? 

Of course she does. In fact my seven year old told me just the other day that when she grows up she is going to be the tooth fairy.

------------

And there you have it. An insight into what I was like way back in 2013. This procrastination post has given me all kinds of adventures and taken me to all sorts of places on my blog. It made for quite a rabbit hole experience which made me think I should probably go and join in with Ultimate Rabbit Hole gals

Don't wake the baby!

Despite being nearly the end of the second last week of school holidays I somehow managed to force myself out of the comfort of my bed at a ridiculously early and ungodly hour of the morn. Well actually it was only a little after six but given the fact it is school holidays and all it does feel incredibly early. Especially given that it is overcast and cold. Summer hear has a lot to answer for but I will get to that later.

The reasons for my early rise are many, though mainly revolve around the need for housework to be done. That shit is never-ending isn't it?

So I had planned to make a nice early start on the dishes and washing and all manner of things that a super mum needs to take care of in-between ensuring the children are adequately fed, watered and entertained. Only Teapot decided that today would be the day that she elected to forgo her crack of dawn awakening and sleep in. As such I am too scared to do anything in case I make a noise and wake her.

After a few later than normal late nights combined with the fun and frivolity of school holiday freedoms she is quite possibly on the brink of exhaustion and in dire need of some catch up sleep. Her obedience is most certainly commendable though because as I was tucking her and Zany into bed last night I strongly suggested that they aim for staying asleep for at least ten hours and she has done exactly that. Bless her little cotton socks. I guess third time is a charm because the other two are by no means so compliant to some of my wishes as what she is.

Sigh. The joy of parenting.

Though naturally as I was bragging of her sleep in she has now awoken.

Oh well at least now I can get the washing on and and the dishes done. Oh yay! Said no one ever.

In further procrastination against what needed to be done (because let's face it the whole sleeping child thing really was nothing more than an excuse to sit in front of the computer rather than do chores, I stumbled across a link up hosted by Finding Myself Young and Life Behind the Purple Door. It is called #thisparentinglife and I think this post is just perfect to join in with it.

Trying to get it all worked out

Two weeks ago I made the impulsive decision to return to writing over at A Parenting Life. Without a second to spare I had changed my Facebook page name to Rhianna Writes about A Parenting Life and was ready to rock and roll. Or at least write and write.

It was the last day of 2015 and it seemed only fitting to start the new year with a return to the past with a bit of a fresh new twist.

Ok, perhaps when it is worded like that it doesn't seem as fitting but the decision was made nonetheless and off I went.

So here I am, two weeks into 2016 and still none the wiser as to how I am going to make myself write more.

All the sighing.

When Mr Awesome returned from Darwin, complete with my beloved iMac carefully wrapped in his suitcase complete with a voice to text program I have been waiting some twelve months to try I was adamant that words would begin to flow from me like much like the monsoonal downpour on a topical island. 

Obviously that is not quite how things have panned.

Sure I could easily blame school holidays or work or an endless list of dismal excuses, but really they are just that. Pathetic dismal excuses that are just a cop out for being lazy or scared or whatever it is that is making me hold myself back. 

My brain is currently in overdrive trying to balance out the quandary of desperately wanting to be a writer yet constantly putting the effort to write in the too hard basket.

It just makes no sense. At all.

More sighing.

A new day is dawning

After nearly six months of laying here dormant I have decided to to reinstate this little corner of the interwebs. For one reason or another Rhianna Writes just hasn't taken off like I expected it too. I had expected that I was going to be writing more fiction but that just hasn't happened.

I am still not really sure what is going to happen I just know that having this space back is a move in the right direction.

The bar opens at what time?

It's one of those days where shortly after lunch time you find yourself seriously considering whether it is an acceptable time to crack open an alcoholic beverage. Actually, truth be told, it is one of those days where you have been wondering whether it is too early to start drinking not long after dropping the children at school. School which apparently still needs to drag on for yet another long week.

Oh the sighing.

It is fair to say that I am currently feeling rather incredibly run down. I have had a nagging headache and aching body for two days, though it feels like so much longer. Not to mention the constant feeling of exhaustion that comes with going to work as the rest of the world is sitting down to dinner or going to bed in the case of children and then still getting up at the regular time to take children to school.

Are you sure there really is still another week of school to go?

I feel terrible  not having been here for so long and then when I finally manage to ignore all the things that need doing so I can sit and right I seem to just purge a long list of whinging.

I do profusely apologise, honestly I do.

In fact only being able to get out complaints and unhappiness is one of the many reasons I have not been here. Last time I tried to write it went a little like this...

You would be forgiven for thinking that I had fallen off the edge of the world. It has after all been quite some time since last I shared anything here. Rest assured though I have not succumbed to any such fate. Instead I have just been consumed with the busyness of living life.

I would like to say that the busyness of living life has been one of excitement and adventure but sadly that is not the case. In fact a more apt description is one that involves a combination of treading water and furiously...

See what I mean on why I thought it best if I just stayed away?

So what made today different I hear you ask?

Well today was the day that had the straw that broke the camels back. So to speak. Today I realised that I just had to get it out or I would internally combust and there ain't nobody that wants to see that.

Today I remembered how that writing is where I make sense of things. How I piece myself together when times are tough and somehow manage to keep going. And right now times seem incredibly tough and I am not sure how I am going to keep going.

Of course that all sounds much more dramatic than the reality of what I am facing but perspective can be hard to come by at times.

We currently don't have any plans for Christmas day and it is troubling me greatly. Our best buddies here will be coming over for dinner but having always been a luncher for Christmas day waiting for dinner seems like waiting forever.

As much as this is our second Christmas without family and shouldn't be such an issue it is. Last year we were taken in by such a loving family that we felt like we were with family. Christmas has never been about presents here, only family so when you don't have a family to celebrate with it kinda doesn't quite feel like Christmas.

And that makes me a bit sad.

The Grandmother

She had always known that life wasn’t meant to be easy but she could not understand why it had to be this hard either. Sure having to struggle made you appreciate what you had but was it really necessary for everything to be a struggle? Had she not already done her fair share of hardships? Weren’t these later years in life meant to be full of enjoyment and relaxation? Apparently not. According to her life path there were still at least a dozen more tussles through life that she had to face and that was just in the next week!

The grandchildren were coming to stay with her. Thankfully that awful daughter in law, Melodie, couldn’t make it so she would have a chance to talk to her son alone. Perhaps she might even be able to teach those ratty children a thing or two about manners. She had long given up trying while their mother was around. Useless waste of space that she was.

It had been nearly ten years since that Melodie had married her son Jack and Rose still failed to see what the attraction was. Right from the moment she first lay eyes on her she knew that she was up to no good. There was just something that alerted Rose to the possibility of Melodie not being all that her son thought she was. Something in the way she acted and spoke screamed to Rose that Melodie would never love Jack the way he truly deserved.

Poor Jack. He had such a hard time growing up. Always friends with all the girls, yet no one ever managed to see the real boy behind the front. So caring and attentive he was always there to pick up the pieces of their broken hearts. Not that any of them deserved any of his attention. They just went to him when their egos needed a boost. They were all floozies, well all except one. Rachel. Such a beautiful person both inside and out. She had so much in common with Jack, yet for some reason they never really had a chance to connect in the way Rose wished for. Mind you their time together was only brief. Rachel’s young life was tragically brought to an end much too soon. Just another of life’s unfair blows.

Rose often thought back to Rachel and it was always with great fondness. She was by no means a catwalk model but she did have all the right bits in all the right places and the personality of an angel. Again though, few people ever took the time to really get to know her or understand where she was coming from. She was such a quiet girl and more times than not would just get lost in the crowd. Much like Jack. Perhaps that was why the were drawn to each other. Even at such an early age they recognised the kindred spirits that they were. Or at least the kindred spirits that Rose thought they should have been.

The joy of running (away from chores)

Monday seems to be the only day at the moment where I can actually make the time to make myself sit down and spew out a few words. Probably not actual writing, but better than nothing.

I pass by these beauties on my run, they always make me smile

This morning as I was pondering over how this post would pan out I thought it would go along the lines of explaining how I am just not coping with the whole being a working mother thing. Despite my hours not being full time and only being of a night. The house is somewhat a lot, shambolic. If we were still living in the topics you would be forgiven for thinking that there had been an internal cyclone. Since we don't live in the tropics you will probably just assume (rightly) that I am a terrible housekeeper.

However since that point in time, when we were invariably running late for school, unable to find a missing shoe and goggles, all while foraging through a rather empty cupboard in the hope food would magically appear because who has time to go food shopping amongst everything else that is expected of them? My outlook has changed a little.

You see while we were terribly late for school, it was pretty much the first time all year, and most definitely the first time this term. Which compared to our efforts prior to #ouradventureofalifetime is a major achievement. Not only that but after depositing late children at school I took myself off for a run. A run that saw me do 5km in 45 minutes. By no means a land record but I was actually able to not walk for a huge portion of that distance. I did a five minute warm up walk and then ran for a solid ten minutes, at which point I gave into my gasping lungs and allowed myself to slow down and walk for an entire minute. After which I got straight back into it and huffed and puffed away for a further ten minutes. The next twenty minutes saw me walking for thirty seconds every five minutes, but man did I feel all kinds of awesome when I was done.

There was certainly no denying that my coffee was earned today.

Any my point is that the awesomeness of my run led me to forgot all the crap I was feeling about all the things I hadn't done.

All those dastardly chores are still waiting to be done. The house still appears to be a disaster zone but I no longer feel so terrible about it all. Eventually the kitchen will be clean, the floors washed and all the washing will be neatly folded in the cupboard rather than strewn across the laundry floor waiting to be washed.

For now though I have probably wasted enough time and should actually get to doing at least some of  the things that need to be done.

Procrastination at it's best

I sat down at least half an hour ago. The plan had been to write a list of the things I needed to do today. Lord knows there are plenty of them and more than anything I want to be organised and productive. It is the only way I am going to even have a chance of staying afloat and getting done all that is expected.

Mind you after taking far too many selfies with #SummertheBird who desperately wanted me to share my coffee with her I seem to have forgotten exactly what I thought was worthy of writing down. It goes without saying that there is washing to be done, because there is always washing to be done, be it washed, folded or put away, it is always there in some form if not all.

Much like the constant need to prepare food to feed the hungry and rarely satisfied masses with.

Sigh.

Oh and the dishes. How could I forget the dishes, another constant on the list of household jobs that all too often seem to consume our daily life. Or mine at least.

Cue even more sighing.

Much later in the day. Ok maybe not much just later, a little after lunch to be exact.

After scrawling the above in my notebook and flaffing about with a stupid dragon game The Little Two introduced me to I managed to do a few things that mildly resembled being productive. There was washing sorted and folded, some even made it to the cupboard, most didn't though, it is patiently sitting on my bed waiting for the girls to come home from school and see to it.

I also managed to sweep, clear most of the bench and lounge room as well as walk around in a daze not actually doing anything. All up I manage a good twenty minutes of work evenly spaced out over two hours. Not a bad effort really.

The last thirty minutes probably saw me achieve the most as hunger started to take hold. I had made a deal with myself that I couldn't eat till it at least looked a little like I had done something. The things we do hey?

Looking back and moving on

I had thought that yesterday's post would have been enough to get me through today. I thought that I had dumped enough of my feelings enabling me to sail through today almost oblivious to what it marked.

Apparently I could not have been more wrong.

Thanks to Facebook and it's lovely 'you have memories from today' feature I was swiftly reminded of all the pain and sadness I have felt on this day over the last six years. Of course some might say that is what I get for checking Facebook before removing myself from the comfort of my bed but whatever.

So much sighing.

Proving that I really am a glutton for punishment that quite possibly wants to wallow in a pool of my own tears once I had finished torturing myself with my heartbreaking Facebook memories I trawled through the archive of my old blog to see what I had to say about it all over there.

The thing that I really love most about blogging is the record that it gives me. All the moments in time that I manage to capture and freeze for all eternity. Even on the saddest of days.

Over the past few days I have been thinking a lot about my writing and my blogs and what I want from it all and where I think it will go. Sadly a part of thinks the answer is nowhere.

As much as I may have a way with words and a story to tell, it is quite possibly not something that will ever be seen by the masses. And I think for the first time in a long time, possibly even ever, I am ok with that.

I haven't given up completely on the notion I will one day be a published author, just the notion that this space will break the internet, because it won't. This space is for me. For me to reminisce, to make sense of my thoughts, to save for years to come.

With that in mind here the collection of all the other posts I have written on this day. 2009, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2013, 2014. My mind is going into overdrive trying to work out what made me not write in 2010 and why the posts from 2013 actually talk about it June rather than now. My guess is that my grief in June was so great that by October I had figured I had gone on about it all enough.

With my new found attitude towards blogging, which will hopefully see me writing more, I have decided to step down from #teamIBOT. Unfortunately the last few months commenting on other people's blogs has felt somewhat of a chore. Which is not the way that it should be.

I want to get back to leaving a comment because the post touched me in some way not because I feel obligated. I just don't have it in me anymore to be the old blogging me that commented all over the place in the hope people would come by and do the same. I want readers who want to be here to see what I have to say rather than dropping by on account of some implied obligation to return comment love. This also means that I will not be joining in linkies (well after today) or hosting Thankful Thursday anymore.

Joining in with Jess for the last time for a bit and hoping that you will still keep popping by once in a while.

Just another not so manic Monday

It's Monday morning. In a few short minutes the clock will be ticking over to nine. Which by most accounts is still relatively early. It does however feel as if I have been up for hours upon hours. Time is currently going painfully slow for me and I do not like it at all.

Last night went on forever.

After nearly two weeks of late nights and adjusting to night shifts I thought it would be wise to take the opportunity to have an early night and play sleep catch up. Dumbest idea ever. Apparently my body has decided that it doesn't need sleep for more than two hours at a time. Fun times right there.

Despite today being the start of the second week of school holidays, meaning I could have stayed in bed longer and prolonged the already longest night on earth, I rose with the sparrows, or at least Mr Awesome, as he does not have the blessing of school holidays and doing whatever it is his heart desires.

Tomorrow marks the six year anniversary of Dad's moving on to a better place. The end of his suffering as a mere mortal on this god for saken planet that lets the elderly linger on for what must feel like eternity for them as their bodies ever so slow stop working and start to shut down.

Death is such a funny thing. Especially in the elderly. 

I remember back to that fateful day and even through all my heart ache I felt a wave of relief wash over me. I was so glad that his pain had come to an end, that he would no longer have to suffer through each day wondering if it would be his last. Nor would I. 

For years my thoughts each day had been consumed with whether or not this would be the day that I had been dreading for as long I could remember. It was at times rather exhausting to say the least. Not to mention pointless but I it was a hard thing to shake. Fear is like that.

I was born when Dad was forty eight. A time in most people's life when becoming a parent is the last thing on their mind. 

Not my Dad though. 

He was forever saying he wasn't like everyone else. He was right. Over the next seven years he would go on to father two more children.

At the current tender age of thirty seven and with three children safely tucked under my belt, having more children is the last thing I want. I can't see that changing over the next ten years either. In ten years Teapot will be fifteen. The thought of starting over with the whole baby thing again then makes me shudder and want to curl up in a ball.

Not my Dad though. 

There was never any doubt as to how much he loved being a parent, even at that later stage in life. What's more is that it wasn't until I was well into my teens that I really started to realise just how much older he was compared to all my friends' fathers. 

He had always joked you are only as old as the woman you feel. For a long time I had just giggled not really understanding what it meant. My Mum is twenty one years his junior.

Generally speaking I go about my days not giving much thought to the fact that Dad is no longer with us. It is a part of life I have learnt to deal with. An inevitable part of life that I waited for, for so long that when it happened I just kept keeping on. At three and a half months pregnant I refused to feel grief for the fear of my unborn child having a sad soul.

Each year though as September draws to an end and October slowly gets underway I feel myself become somewhat consumed with an all encompassing sadness. All I can think of is my dear old Dad, how much I love him and how I will never ever get to see him again. Tears constantly well in my eyes begging for permission to roll down my cheeks. Rarely do I let them.

Except for when I write.

Writing is my solace. The place where I can truly be me. It gives me the chance to unravel my mind and find a place for my feelings to fit. It is my one true friend that lets me say what needs to be said.

Fifteen minutes

There are approximately seventeen and a half minutes till I need to depart for school pickup. Possibly twenty three if I committed to walking super fast and maybe even twenty five if I ran or rode the bike.

So obviously it is the perfect time to sit and try writing a blog post.

I think about blogging and writing all the time. Finding the time to do it is another story altogether.

I think back to my time in Darwin, before #ouradventureofalifetime and wonder how I ever managed to make as much time as I did to be online. Deep down I know the answer mind you.

It happened because there were so many other things I let slide. Namely relating to housework and tending to the every need and whim of children.

Now that we are renting, which means living in somebody else's house, I feel somewhat obliged to be a more dedicated housekeeper. After all, I am now responsible for their most valuable asset. Talk about pressure. And stupidity. Surely I should have been able to apply the same logic when I was responsible for maintaining my own most valuable asset?

Sigh.

Thankfully winter has passed and the onset of spring has well and truly put a spring in my step. It feels somewhat similar to the dry season back home. The air is filled with a freshness that words can't describe. Gentle breezes make sure that the clouds continually float on by leaving the sky a sparkling shade of light blue. I feel energised and ready to take on all that may be thrown my way.

I snapped this little guy yesterday while I was out in the garden bird watching and enjoying some sunshine

And that is how much I can write in fifteen minutes

Thankful to be getting my groove back

For regular readers playing along you would be only too well aware of the fact that the old Thankful Thursday posts have been a bit few and far the past month. Thankfully it has not really been because I couldn't find anything to be thankful for but more so I have just been flat out and unable to make the time to sit down and blog.

This week however, a change has come over and somehow I have found myself with a little more time on my side. Which I must say has been all kinds of lovely. For the first time in I don't know how long, I feel like, at least for the moment, I may actually have my act together. And it feels incredibly awesome.

What also feels incredibly awesome, and also a little strange, is that I feel more like me than I have for the longest time as well. The strange part is that I didn't even realise I had stopped feeling like me, but I must have because right now I am almost overwhelmed with how much I currently feel like me. And boy does it feel good.

I guess the fact that I am sitting here, in my bra and shorts so the purple hair dye I just put on doesn't stain my top rather than doing dinner preparations is testament to just how me I am feeling. It is has only just gone past lunch time so there is still plenty of time for dinner to be prepared, I just wanted it out the way as I have my first bootcamp session this afternoon.

But back to being thankful.

This week I am thankful for

* timing my shopping at the same time there were heaps of meat specials. I was able to pick up a whole week's worth of meat at half price
* having had some dear family members come and visit for a few weeks
* being able to take said family members to the Valley of the Giants and hang out in the big trees for a few days
* weekend sport having come to an end
* warm and sunny weather. My pasty white legs love being in shorts
* finding a surprise flower growing in my garden
* having some writing I didn't like being well received. Though part of stupid brain keeps saying people are just being too kind
*getting some blogging mojo back

What about you?

What are you thankful for? 

Do share, leave a comment or if you have blog write a post.

An InLinkz Link-up

A day at the beach

For the most part of her short life, Raysia had been like an odd sock. Tumbling around the washing machine of life on a quest to be reunited with her mate. Eventually she had found what she had been searching for. Trevin. She knew the instant she first saw him that he was the one for her. It was like he had been sent to earth just for her.

Given all the people on the beach that day it was a miracle that their paths crossed. Though that is how fate is supposed to work. Love itself is a miracle so perhaps it was inevitable that time would have eventually drawn them together.

If you combined eternal optimist and a hopeless romantic the end product was Raysia. While she may never have exactly planned her dream wedding per se, she had never for a moment doubted the fact that she had a soul mate who she would eventually meet and fall in love with. 

She just had no idea that the fall aspect would be quite as literal as it turned out to be.

It was a typical dry season Sunday morning. She had woken up at her usual Sunday time of half past seven. It was late enough to feel like a sleep in but early enough to not waste the day ahead. During the week Raysia would greet the day well before six. While on some levels she may have been inherently lazy she was also disgusted by the idea of wasting the day away on something as pointless as sleep. Especially if the alternative was laying in the sun and reading a book.

Raysia loved the simplicity of the seasons in Darwin. Wet and dry. As their names suggested the wet brought with it endless rain and the dry sees not a drop. In between the rains of the wet would come heat, a sticky clammy atmosphere that made the air thick and heavy. Clothing would stick to damp bodies and tempers were short as the scorching sun sucked life from all it shone over.

The dry was the complete opposite. Just a glimmering blue sky under a sun that still shone brightly, just a lot gentler. How Raysia loved that sun. The powerful goddess that could be invoked from the sun helped Raysia maintain her happy disposition. It was the reason she still lived in the tropics. She needed to be near the sun. She loved watching the golden ball sink into the distant horizon as the day come to an end. Some days, when her mind was still enough she was sure she could even hear it sizzle.

Grabbing her sunglasses, book, favourite sarong and a big bottle of water she shoved them into a bag and headed for the door. The beach was only ten minute walk away but she much preferred to ride her bike. 

It wasn’t long before Raysia hit the foreshore. In totally it stretched out for around 7 kilometers and and Raysia could always find a part of it that suited whatever mood she was in. There were cliffs to sit on and watch waves crash about on when she was sad or angsty. There were sand banks and rock pools to explore when she wanted to take her mind off things and even a few little alcoves for when she wanted to hide from the world at large.

Today she felt like being around people. She had felt very removed from the world of late and just needed to gently blend in for a while. Be in a crowd but not actually part of it. There was a nice flat part of the beach that was popular with sunbakers so she headed towards there. 

It just so happened to be the same part of the beach that the surf life savers patrolled on the weekend which meant there was the prospect of some eye candy for Raysia to enjoy. It had been a long time since she had been on a date and she was starting to long for some male company. She never for a moment doubted that she would one day find Mr Right though she was a little curious as to when he might show up. There were only so many more terrible dates that she could tolerate.

Locking her bike up to the railing she looked down at the beach below the cliff. Scoping out how busy it was. It was still fairly early so except for a few dog walkers the beach was nearly empty. The surf life savers were just setting up their shade structure and flags. It appeared as if there were a few promising glistening bodies for her to admire while she pretended to read.

The tide was on the way out and the sun on the way up. By all accounts is was going to be another day in paradise and Raysia was pleased to be spending it at the beach.Slipping off her shoes she started walking out onto the sand. Before long she could feel the dampness of the sea seeping through from the receding tide. 

Raysia carefully selected a spot not too far from the surf life savers and began to spread her sarong out. Giggling about the fact that there were surf life savers despite the fact there was no actual surf to be seen. Unless there was a cyclone coming the water was always as flat as a pancake.

Spreading her sarong out on the sand she started to set herself up for the morning. Slipping her singlet and shorts off, she felt a little daring standing there in her bikini. As much as she was comfortable with her body she always felt a bit brave wearing so little.

The sun was slowly starting to warm up and little and the rays felt delightful as they engulfed her bare skin. While the tide was still relative high she decided to take a quick dip in the water. It wasn’t until the water was up to her waist that she became aware of just how chilly the water really was. It had felt quite mild when she first dipped her toes in, now not so much.

Diving into the water she sent tingling shivers through her body as every inch of her felt awakened by the freshness of the water. Just the kick start she needed. Pushing her body through the gentle waves she felt the freedom of the open water. Swimming towards the empty horizon she felt like the only person in the world.

Deciding she had swum far enough she flipped over and floated on her back for a while. The rocking sensation of the water lulling her into a sense of security she had not felt for a very long time. Closing her eyes, she let her mind wander.