The Grandmother

She had always known that life wasn’t meant to be easy but she could not understand why it had to be this hard either. Sure having to struggle made you appreciate what you had but was it really necessary for everything to be a struggle? Had she not already done her fair share of hardships? Weren’t these later years in life meant to be full of enjoyment and relaxation? Apparently not. According to her life path there were still at least a dozen more tussles through life that she had to face and that was just in the next week!

The grandchildren were coming to stay with her. Thankfully that awful daughter in law, Melodie, couldn’t make it so she would have a chance to talk to her son alone. Perhaps she might even be able to teach those ratty children a thing or two about manners. She had long given up trying while their mother was around. Useless waste of space that she was.

It had been nearly ten years since that Melodie had married her son Jack and Rose still failed to see what the attraction was. Right from the moment she first lay eyes on her she knew that she was up to no good. There was just something that alerted Rose to the possibility of Melodie not being all that her son thought she was. Something in the way she acted and spoke screamed to Rose that Melodie would never love Jack the way he truly deserved.

Poor Jack. He had such a hard time growing up. Always friends with all the girls, yet no one ever managed to see the real boy behind the front. So caring and attentive he was always there to pick up the pieces of their broken hearts. Not that any of them deserved any of his attention. They just went to him when their egos needed a boost. They were all floozies, well all except one. Rachel. Such a beautiful person both inside and out. She had so much in common with Jack, yet for some reason they never really had a chance to connect in the way Rose wished for. Mind you their time together was only brief. Rachel’s young life was tragically brought to an end much too soon. Just another of life’s unfair blows.

Rose often thought back to Rachel and it was always with great fondness. She was by no means a catwalk model but she did have all the right bits in all the right places and the personality of an angel. Again though, few people ever took the time to really get to know her or understand where she was coming from. She was such a quiet girl and more times than not would just get lost in the crowd. Much like Jack. Perhaps that was why the were drawn to each other. Even at such an early age they recognised the kindred spirits that they were. Or at least the kindred spirits that Rose thought they should have been.

Merry Christmas to one and all

Another Christmas has just about passed. Soon the New Year will be here and time to start again. It never ceases to amaze how so much anticipation is built into the event and then in a not much more than a heartbeat it has been and gone.

On the whole I love Christmas. I love the way that families and strangers alike can come together and forget about the rest of the world. I love the way that troubles can be put aside and differences shared.

What I don't love though is the way that sometimes it becomes all about the presents and doing what is perceived as the right thing. The question always beckons of course what is the right thing? Naturally it varies between individuals.

For some Christmas is all about giving. Giving the biggest and best present. Better than the year before and better than what anyone else will give. There are some that give just for the sake of giving. It is selfless, they ask for nothing in return. They are few and far between though. Even the majority of those that give to charities are doing so because they get the reward of feeling better about themselves.

Anyway this was not intended to be cynical look at the festive season as I really had a magical day. It was however also very long and perhaps it is tired eyes that are giving me a jaded perspective.

So as an exciting game of Guitar Hero World Tour is calling my name I wish you all the very best for the festive season. May it be full of Fairy Wishes and Butterfly Kisses.

Pretty Picture

This is a red collared lorikeet. They can often been seen around where I live and are often confused with the rainbow lorrikeet. It is only upon close inspection that it is possible to notice the difference between the two. The colours are similar yet different.

For me though the easiest way to know that this is a collared rather than a rainbow is that rainbow lorikeets do not live in the wild where I live.

As I write this post the date is actually 31st January. I have decided to update my blog and post all drafts. Apart from the photo and title this post was blank. I have no idea exactly what I planned to say when I first started this post well over a month, maybe even two, but since it was such a pretty photo I thought it should stay

Things to be done

Well it has been 4 days since I last sat to write. In my defense I think that every NaNoWriMo participant was entitled to at least 48 hours with out thinking about word counts, story lines and undeveloped characters. Unfortunately at the end of this time not only I but my youngest child and husband were struck by a terrible flu that kept us inactive for nearly 3 days.

Even the thought of raising my throbbing head from the comfort of my pillow was enough to bring tears to my eyes. Thankfully I am feeling somewhat more human now hence my brief flurry of activity. This is my second post in less than hour! (I could not find an appropriate segue to join the two)

So here is list of things I need to get done

1. Edit crap out of manuscript. Find title and create story masterpiece
2. Contact literary agent to source a publisher for said masterpiece
3. Send off copy to createspace who will print me one free copy of my NaNoWriMo effort
   

In between all of that I have decided to give myself some new daily writing targets. Since daily doesn't work so well for me I have broken it weekly.

1. No less than 3 Helium/Youk articles
   
2. No less than 5 Rambles/Fairy Garden posts
3. No less than 20 myLot posts

These should be attainable goals which I should be able to increase once production levels are well established.

Living the Dream

Well I survived NaNoWriMo and achieved a 50,300 word count. Which is not a bad effort I guess. However given that probably half of it will be cut and thrown into the electronic rubbish bin I still have a lot of work in front of me. (Sighs)

Back to the positive side of life though.
Writing every day (well nearly every day) was a fantastic feeling and without being too modest I think there were some incredibly moving parts. I managed to astound even myself on occasion. Naturally I realise there are some parts which need to be... shall we just say... tweaked a little more and I am fairly excited about the process.

I was talking to someone last weekend about what I had achieved. She noted how I seemed so passionate about what I was doing. I must say there could even have been a glint of jealousy in her eye. After she works long hours in the corporate banking industry so she spends most of her time worrying about other peoples money. Not exactly my idea of fun, but each to their own I guess.

For a brief moment while conversing with her I got a glimpse of what it could be like to be living the dream. Being a writer has always been my dream. During November I really was being a writer. Now I just need to keep it up! (easier said than done)

23079

That is the number of words that I have written of my NoMoNo(November Monthly Novel) Which since I am just past the half way mark in time is slightly under half for words. To me time has just become a series of numbers in relation to how many words may be written, still have to be written, and sometimes what I have just written.

Yesterday I managed to write 1600 words in a little under 2 hours. Impressive I thought. It was hand written the old fashioned way so I had guesstimated I had 1000 which I was still happy about as I was certain that I would expand on it in when I typed it out later.

I then spent a further one and a half hours at my dad's using the computer there (my mothers and I would rather not really be using it) and typing it all out. I was feeling super productive and had just about received enough gain to realise this would certainly be worth doing again. When the computer decided to have a temper tantrum and crash. Taking with it my work. I was surprised by how not devestated I was.

You see, since I began writing, I have almost lived in fear of that happening. I thought I had all the necessary precautions. I have auto save activated, a ups and I regularly post on the Internet to have a second copy. When my novel became too big to post I began emailing it to those who showed an interest in wanting to read it. I thought all bases were covered.

And if I hadn't have been using silly word pad on someone else's computer I would have been just fine.

But enough of that as my darling sister re-typed my hand written for me. While I cooked her dinner! So all's well that ends well.

Anyway I will leave you today with a photo I took at Knott's Crossing. One of my favourite places in or near Katherine.

I got it wrong!!

So as you may have guessed the novel writing venture has become somewhat of a challenge. At only 5700 words I am somewhat behind on the recommended 10002.

While I was having a little breather I had what some might call an epiphany. I have approached the story from the wrong angle. Part of me wants to jump in and start going on about the changes I want to make right now but then a much louder part says I should provide you with some more random thoughts from my jumbled mind. That way I could save the changes for when it is published.

So here's a few random thoughts

I feel very misunderstood. I constantly query if people will understand what I mean. I am aware of the fact from the moment a thought is put public it becomes subject to interpretation by others. Half the time I don't think I even understand what it is I am trying to say! So you can understand why I question if other people get me.

Generally speaking I feel that a lot of people miss the essence of what I am trying to communicate to them. This is almost always the case in the verbal form as I feel that many people around me fail to hear that alone listen to what I am saying. (ed's note most days are spent with young children).

That all aside I seem to have erected many barriers in my life which prevent me from endless opportunities. Being a woman of the new millennium I am empowered and strong. The only thing holding me back is myself and as of this very moment I have just let go.

No longer will I let fear stop me from living the life I have always dreamed about. I deserve the happy and fruitful life before me. I will share it with all that I can, however if others are not prepared to embrace the hidden joys of life, that is not my fault.

I really need to get on with my novel. I should find a name for it to, perhaps that will help it evolve into something tangible rather than just another wasted idea. I know this post will fall short of the recommended 500 words but at over 370 is good enough for now, I have characters to give life to

Great Ideas

In a bid to achieve my novel I have been thinking of ways in which I can stimulate a stream of words from my sometimes stifled brain. Here is what I have so far

1. Pick a word that will be a theme for your writing session. Find 7 synonyms for the word. Write a few sentances or even a paragraph and use each word in a different yet related context.
   
   
2. Concentrate on details such as
   

• sounds and noise
• sights
• feelings/emotions
• colours and textures
• touch
• smells and tastes
• experiences - eg smoke going up her nose as she inhales another drag of her nicotine filled death stick or the gentle breeze brushing through and shifting papers about on the table. An envelope slowly flutters to the ground

Ok so now that I have rewritten it, it does not seem as much as when I scribbled it down earlier, but at least it is a start I guess!

Prior Preparation

As of midnight tonight my life will change for ever (well at least for the next month anyway). I have decided to take on the NaNoWrMo challenge. Which basically means I plan to write at least 50,000 in the space of 30 days. Not just any 50,000 words either, they must string together and form a novel.

Since discovering this wonderful challenge a little over two weeks ago I have been able to think of nothing else. What I haven't been able to do though is decide exactly what type of novel I will write. Naturally the possibilities are endless.

These are my possibilities so far

1. Teenage romance - I figure this would be fairly easy as I had plenty of romance as a teenager to draw from
2. A fictional recount of my father's life - he has after all done some pretty cool things and since he was born in 1929 there is again plenty to draw from. Plus it would be nice to have a record of it all. Would certainly need to do some more research though
3. A daughter dealing with her father's death - this would be based on my imagination though as thankfully my dad is still alive (though quite frankly I do expect him to die any day but then that has been a constant thought for many years and it still hasn't happened)
4. Mother/Daughter relationship - probably not going to be all that positive, which means my mother would probably get upset if she ever read it.
5. Five or six random characters and the lives they lead. Somehow they would all interact with each other, with it all coming together in the end. I particularly like this idea as if I am looking like being short on words I can just add another couple of characters
6. Junior fantasy based fiction. On the upside I would only need very easy language on the downside would also need a very active imagination

So there you have it, less than six hours to kick off and I am still sitting here wondering what it is I will choose to write about. Perhaps some mindless PackRat will help me find the answer!

The Great Things About Lists

Lists are great! They keep you organised, help you to stay on task and just generally maintain two hands firmly on the ball of life. Lists also have a very personal side to them and you are either a list person or not.

My mother was and to some extent still is a very big list person. While she may not write lists on a regular basis if there is a party to plan or spring cleaning to be done a list is sure to be made. Before I go on any further I must say that I love my mother dearly and would not wish for another, however she has never really been a person I have aspired to be like. The reasons of which I will save for another post (or perhaps even a book). As a result of this I have generally avoided making too many list for fear of someone making the comparison.

As I get older I have realised that lists actually need to be an integral part of my life. Without an adequate supply of lists I have found my self somewhat lost and just floating the the abyss that is my life. While it is hard to admit I think that I am actually the type of person that needs to have a list about all my lists.

So here it is a list of all the lists I need to have in my life

1. Chores and housework (for myself and family memebers)
2. Articles that I need to write
3. Dreams, hopes and ambitions that I have
4. Habits I wish to change
5. Monthly, weekly and daily achievements
6. Books I hope to read
7. Miscellaneous things that don't fit anywhere else

I know it is not the longest list in the world but I am a big believer in being able to tick everything off. Also the danger with a long list is that it may be overwhelming and intimidating.

So what has brought about my acceptance of my need to have a list? Have a look here.

Dreams, hopes, plans and ambitions

As you have probably noticed there has not been much success in my bid to increase the frequency of my writing. I guess you could say there has been a regular activity, but for what I have put out once a week is not really much of an achievement. I feel this is fairly indicative of my life. I have an innate ability to only do what is required and not an iota more.

The irony of this all is that one of my dream career paths it to be a motivational speaker.

I was recently asked if I had my dreams written out. I was quite taken by surprise by it actually, especially when I realised that I did not have my dreams written out. In fact I am not even really sure I could verbally list my current dreams.

As it is not wise to float through life without dreams, ambitions and the like I have complied a few to get me going. Perhaps this is just the motivation that I need!

My dreams, hopes, plans and ambitions

1. Be the best mother I can and raise beautiful children
2. Become an accomplished writer
3. Be an inspiration to others
4. Maintain an orderly and functioning household

Ok so that is all I have for now but at least it is a start.
You see all I really want out of life is to live a happy life full of love and laughter. I feel blessed to be able to say that I feel I have that now.
Sure life is not perfect and there is the odd occasion when my children drive me to distraction but each and everyday I spend more time laughing and enjoying life than not.

It's funny, looking back to my childhood and teenage years I recall a sense of expectation for my life. Not necessairily from myself but certainly from many around me (parents, teachers, etc). It is fair to say that after the age of 18 I failed to reach any of them!

By all accounts I guess you could say that I was a bit of a goody goody. I got good grades (not great but good) I generally made good choices and good friends so I was never in much trouble (mind you the debating team has more going for it than most know about). Life was just good. (much like now really)

However when I left school went to uni I got a bit lost. There were times when life was good, on occassion it was even great. There were also some really low moments that if I could change I would. If I could go back in time and pin point the precise decision that I could change I would. Mind you I hold no regrets and believe that everything happens for a specific reason so perhaps if the choice to change the past really exisited I would probably leave it like it is. After all it is the past that has made the present all that it is.

But I have digressed. Which makes me think now is a good time to end this post.

Followers Widget

I would just like to draw your attention over to the right of screen to my lovely new followers widget. This great little gadget keeps you updated on all my latest and greatest entries. With just a click of a button you'll always be able to easily find out what my rambles are.

I am very excited to announce that I already have one follower. So a big howdy hi to Bonnie.

The other great thing about being a follower is that it provides fellow bloggers a bit of a free plug so even if you don't want to follow me as such think of it as a great way to get your face seen by more people.

It's been a while since I have had a decent photo to post, hence the noticeable absence of them of late. Thankfully however I have come across one for today.

This is stunning bird was shot in a local park.

Daily Dilemmas

So I would like to introduce a new segment to my Rambles called Daily Dilemmas. The inspiration for this ingenious idea came to me earlier as I was taking out the rubbish. Which I must say is a common time for my brain to do some serious thinking.

Today has been a fairly active day in our household. Mind you it is not a minute to soon. To say I have been lazy of late is somewhat of an understatement. To help paint the picture for you, when I said taking out the rubbish what I actually meant was lugging a total of three medium sized rubbish bags and on heavily overloaded milk crate of trash and recyclables from my house to the other side of the complex to the waste disposal area.

Anyways here is my dilemma for today.

When taking out the rubbish should you

1. Let it all pile up and make one trip.
   
2. Regularly make the journey with smaller piles

Both have their pros and cons.
For example with option one the muscle strength needed to carry out the heavy load is a great workout, however should I drop the load there is a lot to pick up.
With option two and the smaller loads I will be walking a greater distance which in it's own right is a great form of exercise.

Oh decisions, decisions! Can you see my dilemma?

Please feel free to make a suggestion as to which I should choose for the future. What would you do?

A New Friend

I am sure you have all seen the email circulating that goes on about friends for a day, friends for a reason, friends for a season, and all that kind of stuff. Of course you have probably never received it from me and there are a number of reasons for that

1. Chances are you I don't have your email as we probably haven't had the chance to meet yet
2. Even if you are one of the few people in the world who actually know me and take the time to read this you know that I am just not one of those lovey dovey kinda gals who sends out junk like that on a regular basis (I must admit that on the odd occasion I have been caught at a weak moment and found myself clicking reply and thanking the kind person who sent it too me)

As a regular reader of my rambles you would be aware that friendship is something that I enter with great trepidation. People have a tendency to drift in and out of my life. I have come to accept that people, friends rather, have a specific purpose to serve. Just as the email states, for some this purpose may last a life time, for others only a season or perhaps even a few years. It all just depends on the purpose they are there to serve.

Sometimes the purpose is for emotional support and guidance. Sometimes it is to inspire and create a better you. Sometimes it is a shoulder to cry and and arms to hug. And sometimes it is just to make you see the world a different way.

I am EXCITED!!!

Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! I am excited. The excitement within me is building up much like the big black clouds that are the wet season.

While chatting with a new friend last night I discovered National Novel Writing Month Basically a group of like minded folk have gotten together and set themselves the challenge of writing a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. Always being one that is up for a challenge (not really) I have signed myself up.

Roll on November 1!

So in the meantime I should practice getting my knuckles to the grindstone! I am figuring the only way this will be a success is if I get myself organised. I have been rather lax in my list department so that is the first of many changes I am going to make.

Goodbye Mrs Nextdoor

Today I said good bye to my childhood neighbour. Even though I have not seen her for many years I felt it only fitting to attend. After all many of my early memories include Mrs Nextdoor.

Things were different back then. Children were respectful and all adults were referred to as Mr and Mrs. As youngsters we had trouble remembering our neighbour's surname so they were Mr & Mrs Nextdoor. A term which over the years grew great endearment.

Mr Nextdoor died many years ago. Time is not always my friend and the years seem to blur so I can not place an exact number on them but it would be over a decade. He fought a brave battle with the dreaded cancer. For some reason the final time I saw him is one of my most vivid memories.

After his death, Mrs Nextdoor moved with her son Steve, to somewhere smaller. I am not sure why Steve never moved out of home. I remember being facinated by him as a child. Still to this day I have no idea how old he is, only that he is much older than I. My memory of him bears an uncanny resemblence to Jesus. Seeing him today shows that my memory is in tact.

Though he no longer has the beard his whole demeanour and presence still makes me think of an iconic Christ. The tall slender body, long face and flowing hair. While his stature may appear frail there is also an overwhelming sense of strength.

While my mum was never the type to just 'let us hang out at the neighbours', she could not stop my brother and I from climbing the big old wattle so we could spy at them coming home. Or hide behind the cars and whistle, trying not to giggle as they searched for the latest hiding spot.

The Nextdoors were also guaranteed invites to any party that we had. My sister, Mrs Nextdoor and I all shared the same birthday. It just seemed to make the celebration more special.

It is strange that for nearly 15 years these people lived nextdoor to us, we were not by any means strangers to one another. However after they moved we never saw them again. Well that is not completely true. We would occasionally bump into one another at the local super market. Nothing more than idle chit chat and a smile though was ever exchanged.

I would love to write more but there is a storm here fast approaching and given the weak power of late I daren't risk a power failure!

Being on the losing team

So today saw my football team lose the grand final. It is only the second game of the season that we have lost. Of course at the end of the day that means nothing.

Right now it does not matter that for the entire year Geelong has outclassed and outplayed every other single team in the competition. For on the day that counted the most they crumbled like Nanna's cookies.

I was hoping to find a picture of a team sitting down crying their eyes out and while there are many of them of Geelong on the day I am not interested in the associated copywrite issues. So as always I turned to my faithful Free Images site and found this beauty aptly named defeat. Thank you to J Boontje for sharing it

Word Limit

I have just come up with the most brilliant idea ever!!!

I am putting a self imposed word limit of 500 words on all of my posts. The Internet reader has a short attention span and studies have shown that much past 500 the attention has is lost.

The other big plus is that in theory this should mean more posts! For those times when I really feel the need for a long ramble I can split it in half and get twice as much.

The article which prompted this brilliant idea is called The Problem and can viewed right below this post.
The second part will follow shortly but I don't think it will be called The Solution as many may well expect. Stay tuned for further details or better yet subscribe to an RSS Feed and never miss an issue!

Today's photo is one of my first taken with my flash new toy. If you look hard enough you can see a bird. Hopefully it won't be long till I have the whole zoom thing worked out!

The Problem

I think that I am unhappy with the fact I am not writing enough.

This of course is easily blamed on a lack of time. Naturally this is not really the case. Given the amount of time that I spend playing PackRat, I appear to have all the time in the world.

Of course it is easy to find time to play a game. Especially when other time consuming activities may include, cleaning, cooking, washing dishes and just generally living a functional life. A game is fun and enjoyable. Unless your name is Mary Poppins nobody likes domestic duties. Even though I love her dearly I am by no means her clone.

However if I really want to write that much why does the game continue to win me over?

After all, the game requires little to no thought and there is definitely no risk of physical exhaustion. (Mind you after more than 4 hours or so it is recommended that players stretch their legs for 5-10 minutes to regain circulation in the lower limbs and back.)

I have always rather prided myself on my mental capacity and generally I have been keen to use it on a regular basis. However this mind numbing addiction sees to be over taking my life. Sure it is relaxing and modern theology is always encouraging society to take time out and relax.

However I get the feeling that to really earn the right to relax some level of activity is needed, which is where I am falling short. By activity I don't really mean exercise. I mean actually getting up and doing something other than sitting in front of the computer.

I am almost ashamed to admit my addiction. Remembering that it is after all just an online game. There are no winners or loses. There is a leader board amongst friends however I have only looked at it once. When all is said and done, it does not really take a great deal of thought to play the game. I mean you just sit there clicking away. Silently hoping that the next screen will yield the card which us currently your heart's desire. Of course some brain capacity is needed to remember which three cards will make something better. Which can then be traded for perhaps some better. For the most part however my seven year old could play without there being a slither of difference.

Yet I am unable to go more than a few hours without having a 'quick click' through just to see what I might be able to nab.

Now that I have clearly established that a lack of time is not really the issue let's see if I can locate any other underlying causes....

Unfortunately this post has reached it's word limit so I will have to keep you all in suspense while I start a new one

Experiences

Image credit

Writing is often based on experience.

At least that is a connection I have always made. When I was younger I remember thinking no need for me to write yet I still have more 'experience' to gain.

I am still of the belief that I have more experiences to go through to enhance my writing ability, however even at the tender age of 30 the reality is I have had plenty of experiences that are worth writing about

So what makes an experience worth writing about I hear you ask. Hard to say really as I ask myself the same thing on a regular basis. Though a great writer can make any even the smallest thing sound exciting. The trick is in finding a way to engage people I guess...

There is no denying that we have 'experiences' everyday. As a life long learner new experiences are a regular occurrence. Really what if all boils down to though is perspective.

My perspective is that every time I met a new person it is the start of a new experience. In fact almost every conversation is the start of a new experience if you let it be. Sometimes it will just be an extension of a similar experience but all in all it is a new one.

So my new experience today involves shopping. Sure, I have been shopping before but today was slightly different. Today I was shopping with lots of money. Today I wasn't shopping for something that was needed. Today I was shopping to fulfill wants!

Hubby wanted a new TV. He is a big fan of keeping up with the Jones's, and they have a big flash TV. So naturally he wanted a bigger flasher TV. I have dreams of becoming an acclaimed photographer so I wanted a new SLR camera. (Why limit myself to writing I say!)

So thanks to the kind reimbursement from the tax man, our family is now the proud owners of a Panasonic 42 inch plasma TV and Sony Digital Twin Lens SLR.

How did this become and experience worth writing about?

Simple really. Everything about the purchase was positive. The sales assistant was friendly and helpful. My husband and I both come from sales backgrounds so we are very dubious purchasers. We always think we are getting ripped off (that is after all what salesmen do) Today however it didn't matter. Greg, our assistant made us feel totally comfortable with it. He was giving us exactly what we wanted.

However it was when we got our new toys home that the fun really began. We discovered that the TV was definitely too big for our existing entertainment unit (we had thought as much though). Not only that but in his rush to set things up hubby neglected to read the instructions which left us thinking we had not got a digital TV which was one of the main reasons we decided to upgrade. (Turns out we just needed to press the right button)

Meanwhile in camera land I have to wait nearly 3 hours before I could take a photo. Why they don't sell these things with a full battery I will never know. I also realised that my existing memory card would not fit and I needed a new carry bag. Thankfully the shop is just down the road!

Even going back was a pleasurable experience but not one I need to go on about much more for fear that your experience here may became tarnished as I head towards boring!

Was your last shopping experience worth writing home about?