Things I Know - Christmas is just around the corner!

Yep I know, surely not?  But alas it is true, Christmas is but just around the corner.  In fact it is so close I don't even want to do the maths because once you start counting down it is all over quicker than the flash of your tree lights.

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I know that as always I am grossly under prepared for the festive season.  Despite having the very best of intentions.

 I know that Christmas is one of my favourite times of the year despite all the rush and hype that it sometimes creates.

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I know that this is almost the first time this year I have mentioned Christmas in a post.  Mainly due to being so grossly under prepared, which sadly is nothing new.

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I know I love, like seriously love, our light decoration this year.  I also know that I really should get my act together and take some photos of said lights so that you too can see their beauty and be in awe.  I know that I need to take photos of all my decorations as I made some rather cool bunting that I just know you are dying to see.

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I know that I am a little excited to be having a small intimate Christmas lunch at my home for the first time in I can't remember how long.

I know that I am also looking forward to mum's cook up this weekend as it is the only time a lot of us will get to be together.

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I know there are a few things about Christmas this year I don't particularly like but I am hoping if I ignore them they won't be so awful.

This is the second to last Things I Know to be hosted by Yay For Home.  I know that is a little sad but I guess all good things must come to an end.  Make sure you swing by next week  for the final installment.

Thankful Thursday

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So I am meant to be writing a Thankful Thursday post about breastfeeding.  Now I know as a rule I don't get involved in such a heavy topic here, but as I am concerned about the diversity in recent posts I figured it might be a good idea to broaden out a little.  Breastfeeding is something that I have previously written a few articles on but never really discussed here at APL.  Said articles can be found here, here and here if you are interested.  It is also something that I am incredibly thankful for and I will be sharing with you why that is bright and early next Thursday if all goes to plan.

When I went looking for the links to my collection of breastfeeding articles (three's a collection right?) I was reminded of how I got my writing fix before I discovered blogging.  One of the ways was by writing articles for a site called Helium I wrote my first article there way back in September 2007.  We had only had our computer a month.  I can't believe that before then I knew not of Facebook, blogging, Twitter or anything else that could be found on the Internet.  How did I ever get by? What did I do with my time?

One of the reasons we finally found the money for a computer was because I was of the belief that I could earn an income at home and ease some of the financial pressures that we were feeling.  At this time DD2 was around 13 months old.  DD1 had settled beautiful into school life and I was looking for ways to fill in the nap time.  You can imagine my disappointment when I discovered that making money with a computer was not as easy as some people would have you believe.

Always wanting to give it my best I stuck at spending hours online trawling for easy ways to make money.  I knew well enough to stay away from pyramid scams that were nothing more than cut and paste waste of times.  Instead I created profiles at numerous freelance sites and sat back and waited for my inbox to overflow.  While I was waiting I wrote articles for Helium and called myself a writer.  It felt awesome.  From there I found other places that would pay a pittance for four hundred words and felt even more like a writer.  I even toyed with calling myself a freelance writer as that made me sound even more professional than I really was.

Somehow I managed to actually make a little money here and there but as with most things in my life I neglected to make the required levels of effort to actually see great success.  (Alternatively I could say that being a mother to two turned out to be rather time consuming which only increased with the addition of DD3) Truth be told though I stupidly discovered Facebook in a bid to rekindle long lost friendships that may or may not have actually been worth it.

Thankfully though I also discovered, lost and then rediscovered the joy of blogging.  I have also found a way to curb my desire to idly spend my time (well most some of my time)  I am more than thankful for this and hope more than anything it is something I can continually improve on.  While my dream to make it as a writer feels rather faded at times it is still there.  The light within me will always flicker it is just the brightness that at times will vary.

With that in mind I have been making a strong effort to write here on a regular basis.  I may joke about being a non writing writer but I really would much rather be a writing writer.  The thing is I am a writer that needs to be read.  Without that it all seems a bit pointless to me.  So far it seems as if one of the main ways for me to feel like I am being read is by linking in with other great bloggers such as Kate and Thankful Thursday.

For me TT is right up my alley.  The silver lining is never usually hard for me to find and can easily recall many a time when I have been told that I am akin to Little Miss Positive.  Something I relish.

Lately though this is not the case.

Now before you pull out the violins and play a sorrow woe is me song I should say that my inability to not see the silver lining is not because life has been throwing me awful curve balls.  Because it hasn't.  Sure the kids have been sick, the weather's been hot and money looks a bit tight but that has all happened before and I haven't let it dampen my spirits.  I have just let it all get out of hand and am in desperate need of a serious attitude adjustment (or holiday).  Actually just a night of unbroken sleep would probably do it.

So I hadn't planned on joining in this week.  I didn't want to just make up some for the sake of it post where I was thankful for my daily blessings.  You know stuff like being thankful that Maccas had an awesome iced caramel latte and choc orange torte when I caught up with my latest blind mummy date.  Then also being thankful that said date was so incredibly awesome and was someone I felt I could catch up with again if she felt so inclined (no pressure though if you are reading :)  Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for all of that and a ton of other great things that have happened lately if I take the time to think about it, but when I write these posts I want it to be something special and thought provoking.  Stuff like this and this.  Hence why I thought being thankful for breastfeeding could be a good option, only somehow I got a little lost.

Which as it turns out I am a bit thankful for.

You see going back and having a read through some of my articles has made me remember that there is hope for me as a writer, and for that I am truly thankful.  Without hope we have nothing.


So thanks Kate for being such an awesome host and reminding not just me but the world at large how important it is to take the time to be thankful.

What are you thankful for?  Don't forget to swing by next Thursday to see why I am thankful for Breastfeeding.

The Best of Intentions

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That is what I have.  Always and ever.  My intentions, if nothing else are for the best.  From the onset I aim for the best possible outcome.  But then who doesn't? Of course we all want the best.  Of course we all hope for the best and are of the opinion that are actions are in the direction to take us there.  Only some days hope is all I have.

Some days I can hope till the cows come home that things will work out to even resemble anything like I planned or perhaps expected and still don't get close to the mark.

Take today for example I had the very best of intentions when I sat down to write this awesome post. (some ten hours ago)  I had intended for it to be all about my hopes, goals and plans for the coming week(s) (yep that's right I am nearly ready to start thinking in terms of weeks rather than just days) I had intended to carry on about how this week would see me organised and on top of everything.  How I was confident for the next two weeks DD1 would feel like the house at least in someway resembled that of the homes featured in the wonderful Target ad that is currently blessing our screens.  The one which every time she sees she comments on how she wishes our house was as clean as theirs.

So I am not really sure how from that I ended up in twitterland or idly clicking balls in what ever the name of the current facebook game that has my attention.  I promise that I did intend to get the writing done just as soon as the inspiration hit.  Only then life once again got in the way and I found myself running errands, entertaining children and catching up with my mother.  Followed by shopping for dinner, preparing and then cooking said dinner.  Only to have it eaten and a pile of dishes left in it's wake. Though I am a bit glad it was so well received and eaten so quickly. (Sweet Chilli Pork with Vegetables and Noodles in case you were wondering)


It was also with best intentions I thought pulling out the contents of a few cupboards to reorganise was a good idea.  As was sorting out the girls clothes and toys.  The Christmas bunting I started making weeks ago was of the very best intentions.  I have completed nearly all of it but there is still a large chunk of it to get done.  You know the really fun part of actually sewing it on the ribbon so you can hang it.  Not to mention the blog posts I had planned to go with it.  I had intended to get at least two, possibly three posts about the bunting...

When I went to lay down with the child last night to ease the pain of going to sleep I had every intention of only laying there till she was asleep.  That way I could come back and finish off this post.  I had intended that this post would be a bit of a lead up to next week's official return of Me & YOU.  Yep that's right incase you missed the big announcement last week Karlee has decided that her wonderful link up should return to a weekly presence.  Instead it is now Tuesday and the fantastic IBOT post I had intended to write is no where to be seen. (Well that is not exactly true this will now become my fantastic IBOT post as it is now Tuesday and all) I had intended to do something that would also have fitted in with Ten Things Tuesday over with Sif but clearly this post is not exactly a list.  Maybe I will get to it later today? (Totally plausible with two sick kidlets right?)


So there you have it.  The best of intentions do not always lead to the best of outcomes (who would have thought?)

Make sure you come back next Monday to check out how I am going in the craziness that is the last week of term and the Christmas lead up.  In the meantime head on over and say hi to the awesome Jess who is today sharing a run down on the ups and downs of teenage hair as well as all the other IBOT bloggers who have linked up.

Things I Know - Friendships

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The other week I went on a Blind Mummy Date.  Yep that's right I arranged to meet up with another mum who I had never ever met before.  We are part of an online baby wearing group that was brought together via Facebook.  Originally the date had been planned as a gathering for all group members but it turned out that only the two of us were actually able to make it.

Now I know that this may not sound like much of a big deal but for me it was.  In order to attend this blind mummy date I had to push myself past a few comfort zone.  You know stuff like actually getting out of the house by a set time and actually interacting with a complete stranger.  I even went so far as inviting another mum who I knew only online but unfortunately she was unable to come.

So after deciding what coloured tops to wear and who would have what so as to recognise each other we arranged the time and place and off we went.  As it turned out we had no problems working out who each other were, turns out we had chosen a rather quiet place and we were in fact the only people there.

Prior to actually arriving I was a little nervous about it all and wondered what on earth I had been thinking agreeing to something like this in the first place.  Within minutes though my fears were alleviated as my mummy date was warm, welcoming and a bit of a chatterbox.  Before long to the unknowing I am sure that we would have actually looked like rather close friends as the conversation flowed and awkward silences (my biggest fear) were no were to be seen.  In what seemed like not more than half an hour numerous coffees and delicious french toast and pancakes had been devoured and two hours had actually passed.

One of the many things we discussed was the topic of friendship.  My date, much like myself, felt that there were some serious holes in her friendship basket.  We both agreed that the whole term friendship left much open to debate.  For example at what point do you stop being an acquaintance and enter into the convent of friendship?  What are the different levels of friendship and how do you determine which one you are actually at?  What happens when one side sees the friendship as being more than what it is and how can you strengthen friendships with those who you feel a strong connection with?

On the whole I am not too sure how much I actually know about friendships as there have been many times in my life when I have felt more than alone.  I mean I know I have a wonderful husband, fantastic sister, loving brother and caring mother but they are not really the same as a friendship.  Sure they share some similar qualities but at the end of the day the fact still remains that they are different.

A friend is someone who you can turn to no matter what fate may bestow on you.  A friend comes free of judgement and loves you just the way you are. A friend is one who knows things, without you speaking a word.  They know just what to say and make can make it all seem just ok. A friend will stand right by your side, no matter what that may entail.

Of course to have a friend you must be a friend.

I know that I have had some wonderful friends over the years.
I know also that being my friend may not always be easy.  I am selfish, pre-occupied and quite often self absorbed.  This makes those people who are my real friends even more special.
I know that sometimes I find establishing friendships hard.  They take time, patience and effort.  All three I can be very short on at times.
I know  that I have always been a little jealous of the fact that my sister and her best friend have been that way since before they were ten years old.
I know that when I was ten years old I thought my bestie and I would be friends for ever.  We aren't even facebook buddies.
I know that thanks to the Internet friends now seem more abundant than ever before.

Monday Goals (Just a little late)

Ok so getting last Monday's goal post out in the wee hours of Friday morning is probably not the best of plans but sometimes life is just like that.  Nothing this week has gone to plan and I think I have reached the point where I will just stop planning.

Today, actually I mean yesterday, being the first of the month meant that it was time to check back in with TME to see how our monthly goals went.  Needless to say that mine have not gone to well.

My first goal of successfully writing 50 000 words for NaNoWriMo did not even come close to being achieved.  Which stands it in good stead with my second goal of writing 20 blog posts this month.  I got to 19.  Though I do have one scheduled for later today that was written in November, so I guess technically I did reach this goal. (yay me) My final goal was to remain conscious about the housework.  As always this has been hit and miss.  There were some really awesome days when I would have given Martha Stewart a run for her money but then there were also days I should probably have been locked away for my lack of effort.

One thing I did learn this past month though is that I need to maintain a weekly round up of my goals.  I just don't have the focus to let it go to monthly.  At least not yet,  and aside from that I need all the blog post ideas I can get my hands on so for the time being a weekly post about my ineptitude towards goal setting and achieving will stay on the cards.  Who knows I may actually get something done.

With that in mind last week I wrote about my return to weekly goals (which much like I assume this will be remained largely unread)  On the upside though I feel rather successful in terms of the goals that I set.  Mt Washmore is not at it's peak and is in fact almost under control.  Given some of the wet weather and the need to change sheets around three times due to sick children that is all pretty admirable.

Not only that but I actually managed to pump out four posts instead of the anticipated three  and on most days I was consciously active, including to runs to the shop, so I am currently feeling like a real winner.

Having said that though it was not all roses and sunshine.

The dish free sink area was a massive failure.  There were a few days were the tower of dirty dishes at the kitchen sink gave Mt Washmore a run for its money in the race to reach the ceiling first.  Even as I speak the drainer is plagued by dirty dishes.  In my defense though I don't feel I should have to cook and then clean every single night.  Surely there are other people in the household capable of assisting.  Something I will certainly be looking into.

My final goal for last week was to consciously model the behaviours I wish to see in the kidlets.  This is a tough one.   I know that my yelling has decreased but I have still been a bit of a grumbler which is not exactly something that I want the kids to be.  I did model good  housekeeping skills for a while but no one else joined in and I got disheartened.  Maybe I need to try for longer than a day?

So where to now?

Since this week is nearly over it seems a little silly to come up with a heap of things to try and achieve in an already booked out weekend however in an ideal and perfect world the following would occur

1. By 4pm Saturday afternoon my house will be spotless and sparkling so Grandma can relax and enjoy spending time with the girls while hubs and I go to his work Christmas party.
2. I will have baked up a Christmas storm to take along to Carols by Candlelight on Sunday night
3. Awesome posts will be in the pipeline and ready to be scheduled for the week to come
4. The Christmas bunting I so desperately wanted to make will all be finished and dangling from my ceiling
5. Somehow I will have added quite a few extra hours in the day where I can sleep uninterrupted

Best I stop now before I get too carried away.  I am thinking I might call this little series the Weekly Wrap Up.  What do you think?  Sounds a bit more enticing than Weekly Goals don't you think?

Oh and not that this is a goal but I would love to see how many votes I can get in the Mom's Circles Aussie Mum's Blog List.  Go here to vote once every 24 hours till Dec 8th.  

Thankful Thursday - The Mother Experiment

A few months ago, one of my favourite fellow bloggers began a weekly link up called Me & YOU.  It was designed to focus on goals and improve various aspects of participants lives.  Regular readers will recall the gusto with which I took this on.  It was all very timely for me.  This year was meant to be all about self improvement for me.  Being the best me I could be.  For the first six months I felt focused and on task, however I did start to falter and Karlee's link up came when I needed it most.  For that I am incredibly thankful.

I have mentioned many times before the importance of having goals.  They provide direction and guidance in life, constantly giving us something to aim for and strive towards.  Goals helps us to become better people and accomplish achievements, both great and small.  Without goals we may be left feeling empty and without purpose wondering what we are going with life.

Over the weeks since the inception of Me & YOU I found it very inspiring to be sharing my struggles with my readers.  Having it in the fore front of my mind meant that I was constantly trying to improve and change.  Thanks to the support and understanding of the blogosphere I quickly learnt that it is ok to fail as long as you try.  In fact I think it is fair to say that I actually got to the point where I really was just enjoying trying and all that came with it.  For that I am thankful.

After nearly three months and with the impending birth of baby number two Karlee decided that Me & YOU should go monthly.  Aside from myself and Kristy over at My Ramblings there were few regulars linking up and all I ever did was moan about my inability to conquer Mt Washmore so I can understand the reasoning behind the change.  Though for this I was not thankful for.

Even though the first month actually only went for two and a bit weeks my mojo dwindled and I began to feel myself suffocating once again under piles of clothes.  Thankfully I managed to pull it all back together for the first monthly installment but I quickly found that I needed to keep my goals on a weekly basis.  After all I am at times like a goldfish or perhaps related to 10 second Bob.  Either way my attention span is rather short and I need to regularly check in to stay on track.  I am thankful that I realise this and can now take steps to achieve this.

Today being the first of the month, was supposed to be Me & YOU day, only Karlee forgot and I can't say I blame her.  Even without the lead up to Christmas there is a lot going on, but with two under two it would be more than a handful.  I am thankful that Karlee felt comfortable enough to be so open.

Now I am fairly sure that the lovely Karlee feels somewhat obliged to maintain this wonderful link up because of the progress that I have made.  For that I am thankful as it shows what a beautiful and caring person she is.  However, Karlee, you should rest assured that a corner has been turned and now that I realise just how useful some weekly and regular goals are I won't be stepping away from them anytime soon.

Today I give thanks to The Mother Experiment and her Me & YOU Monday initiative.  Truly a turning point in my life.  Joining in with Kate, who says stuff here. This week she is thankful for the onset of Christmas.  What are you thankful for?

Oh and did I mention how thankful I would be for your vote here

Wordless Wednesday - Strength & Power

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Joining in with

 

and

Faith, Hope & a whole lotta Love

A few words about Wordless Wednesday

One of the few things I can be sure of doing each week is joining up with My Little Drummer Boys and Faith, Hope & a whole lotta Love for Wordless Wednesday.  I find it rather ironic that for as much as I dream of being a writer the biggest hit each week comes from a post that is actually wordless.

Since I know that people do take the time to stop by and have a look I pride myself in making sure that I have a wonderful picture to share.  Lately however they have been harder to come by.  I haven't been taking my camera out much so I have been mostly using photos I already had.  While I am sure that I still have many that I haven't already used it doesn't feel like that at times.

Naturally I much prefer using new and fresh photos but it is just not always possible.  For example there is a bird who flies over my house almost every day.  At roughly the same time as well.  Do you think I can get a photo of it though?  In fact my inability to capture this bird is one of the reasons my camera and I are some what strangers.

So imagine my shock tonight when skimming through my  thousands of photos for my WW post tomorrow when I came across a photo of this magnificent creature taken some two years ago no less!  But wait there is more.  According to the info attached by iPhoto the photo was taken on my old dodgy point and shoot.  The audacity of it all.

At least it made deciding what photo to use easy and came with the extra added bonus of this post.

Ten Fairly Simple Pastry Ideas

Technically speaking this is the 350th post that I have written.  However since post number 349 is currently scheduled for publishing on Friday my numbers are all a bit haywire.  Go me for having my Things I Know post all ready to go on Tuesday though.  The fact that it is actually left over from last week when I didn't get it done is only a minor detail.  I guess I should also mention that since I imported all my posts from previous old blogs so my 350 really is a bit hit and miss but still worth a little mention.

Moving right along though.

As you are probably aware today is Tuesday which means Jess over at Diary of SAHM is hosting the iBOT (I blog on Tuesdays) which is why I am trying to pull together something that resembles a decent blog post.  Easier said than done at the minute but I will plod along anyway.

Sif also has a link up today called Ten Things Tuesday and whenever possible I like to join the two together.  I had thought about doing my Christmas Wish List to Santa but I wanted to include some awesome photos and since my Internet is slower than slow at the moment that is not going to happen.  Stay tuned for it though so you know what to get me (just in case).  Keeping with the Christmas theme I contemplated doing a list of all reasons I love the festive season but after a night of sleeping on the floor with a sick child which followed a night of waking up with sick child and wondering if she was planning on emptying her stomach contents on my bed festive is far from what I am today.  But again stay tuned as I have some pretty awesome Christmas things to share this year.

So without further adieu I am going to share with you ten fabulous things you can do with puff pastry.

1. Apple & Raspberry Scrolls
   Slinky an apple and then chop finely.  If you don't have an apple slinky (I suggest you get one as they are awesome) then peel the apple the old fashioned way and finely chop.  Get some frozen raspberries out and crush them.  Cover a sheet of pastry with the apple and raspberries and sprinkle with sugar.  Roll up and brush with milk and sprinkle with cinnamon sugar.  Slice log into 4cm (or there abouts) lengths.  Squash cut ends to make a flatish shape. Place on tray (lined with baking paper) and brush once more with milk and place in moderately hot oven for about 15 minutes or until pasty looks brown and flaky.
2. Cheese & Vegemite Scroll
   Spread vegemite over pastry, sprinkle with grated cheese.  Roll up, slice and cook as per the apple and raspberry. 
3. Spinach & Feta Slice
   Line a shallow dish with baking paper then place pastry inside.  Spread a thin layer of sauce (tomato or BBQ).  Sprinkle a little grated cheese.  Then put down some baby spinach leaves, roast pumpkin or sweet potato, red capsicum and feta cheese.  You could also add a bit of ham or salami if you so desire.  Place in oven and cook for about 20 minutes
4. Left Over Party Pies
   One of the staples in our house is Dirt & Worms.  As I like to cook for the masses there is always some dirt left over which when you line some deep muffin trays with pastry turn into delicious little party pies.  Left over meat from taco night can also be used the same way.
5. Chocolate Twists
   Cover a sheet of pastry with Nutella or the like. Roll up and slice into 2cm chunks.  Now I am not really sure how I do the next part but somehow I manage to stretch and twist them so they look a little like this
   

   

   Please excuse my dodgy photo

6. Jam Twists
   Very similar to the chocolate twists mentioned above only you use your favourite jam instead of a chocolate spread.  These little beauties take about 10-15 and you can have the oven quite hot when you put them in.  Alternatively if you feel like being fiddly cut small circles out of the pastry with a cookie cutter and stack them on top of each other with the jam in between each layer.
7. Vanilla Slice
   I haven't actually made this before as I only saw it on the pastry box this morning but I love a good vanilla slice so I imagine it won't be long till I give it a go.  I would have linked to the recipe but apparently the brand I buy isn't up to date enough to have a website.  Basically cook the pastry sheets, make some custard put the custard on top of the pastry then another sheet of pastry on top of the custard and refrigerate over night.
8. Ham & Cheese Scrolls
   Ha! Bet you thought I had moved away from the scroll thing. Tricked you.
   Spread sauce (BBQ or Tomato) on a sheet of pastry, sprinkle ham and cheese over said sheet.  Roll, cut, squash and cook as per other scrolls.  This time sprinkle cheese over the tops rather than sugar though.
9. Sausage Rolls
   OMG! I can't believe I got this far down the list without mentioning sausage rolls.  Get some sausage mince from your butcher, whack it on some pastry, roll it up brush with milk and cook for about 40 minutes.
10. Vegetable Pockets
    Yes some might call them pasties but previous experience has taught me that children are not that receptive to the word pasty.  But that might just be mine.  Dice whatever vegies are in your fridge.  Potato, sweet potato, pumpkin, carrot, swede, whatever.  Include some greens like beans, peas and even  broccoli.  The beauty of this one is that it is wrapped in pastry so they can't see what they are eating (esp if you add some sauce).  For this one I like to cut the sheet into four, place the vegies in the middle and then somehow enclose it.  If you are clever, or a chef you can make it real pretty like.  If you are me you just push all the ends together and hope for the best.  These ones take about 30 minutes.

So there you have it, ten pretty simple things to do with pastry.  I wish I could say this was a sponsored post and I have some pastry to share with you all but I don't.  My PR kit is still not even in the pipe line let alone out and about to the masses.  All in good time though.

Thankful Thursday - Spicks & Specks

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After seven years and 277 episodes my favourite television show came to an end on Wednesday night.  Tears were shed, not nearly as many as I was expecting but they were still there.  Thankfully those on stage were not as emotional as I expected, which was great as that meant mine were also kept safely in check.  

Now I like to call myself a dedicated fan but that does not mean I have instant recall on who said what on a particular (or any for that matter) night.  What it does mean though is that in terms of being social on a Wednesday night I am not.  Unless of course that being social involves a TV that is screening the ABC.

As sad as it is to be saying good bye to such wonderful Australian viewing there is much to be thankful about.  Like the fact I discovered the show early in it's life so I was able to see as many episodes as possible.  I am also thankful that the ABC agreed to back such a wonderful idea.  I am sure when it was on the drawing board all those years ago that there was someone who thought it was not a great idea.  Little did they know and thank goodness no one listened to them.

I am thankful for all the interesting and unique performers that were given the opportunity to share their talent.  People like 

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Who may very well not have achieved the success they have had it not been for Spicks & Specks

Then of course there is

And of course thanks to Spicks & Specks I discovered one of the men I would gladly run away with should he ever ask

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So here's cheers to Spicks & Specks and all the awesomeness it has brought to our screens over the years.  Thanks for all the laughs.

Have you got something to be thankful for?  Head on over to Kate Says Stuff to share your thanks and see what others are being thankful for this week.

Oh and one more thing I would be thankful for is if you clicked through to vote for me in the Circle of Moms.  The best part is you can vote for ALL your favourite Aussie mum blogs there.

Wordless Wednesday - Running Free

Linking up with

and the ever lovely Faith, Hope & a whole lotta Love

Parenting, relaxed, indifferent and something in between

Without trying to big note myself mothering has been a pretty natural journey for me.  Well at least until recently.  I have always been confident in my abilities and choices.  Even as a brand new mum some ten years ago, I don't ever recall second guessing myself.  I always felt I knew what to do.  Though I must admit I did keep things pretty simple with my only major parenting decision being I would go with the flow.  If she didn't need her nappy changed I figured that she needed feeding.  Once they had both been seen to the next step was  to alternate between sleeping and playing till it was time to feed or change.

Some might think I did the first three months tough.  I was essentially a single mum (Dad was sent overseas for work at three weeks post birth) I didn't know what else to do with myself so I went back to work.  My boss really needed me and was happy for me to take DD1.  I informed him that the baby would take priority over any customer to which he replied "of course".  For the next seven months I worked full time with DD1 in tow and loved every minute of it.  In fact it is with great pride if you will I look back at my 23 year old self selling a mobile phone contract while breastfeeding my baby.

My nature is somewhat relaxed (at least for the most part) so I tend to just float around and see what comes.  Which is probably why my customers thought nothing of my baby while I served them.  Thankfully this whole relaxed thing has worked quite well for me so far.  Each child has seem easier thatn the last if you will.  My children are happy, easy to please and wonderful to be around (most of the time).

Sadly for me though, I am not sure exactly how much further relaxed will take me.  Some days actually I even wonder if there is a relaxed being in me at all.  At ten and a half DD1 informed me the other day that I was not the boss of her and who did I think I was asking her to pick up after herself.

I am informed her that if she was in fact the boss of herself then she needs to have a long hard talk with herself in regards to picking her stuff up and the way she spoke to others.  I also told her that even if I wasn't her boss as such as her mother I was responsible for her.  Part of the responsibility is ensuring she is nurtured into a caring an compassionate person who always strives towards positivity and is able to think of others.

Relationships are always tricky.  They require a careful balance that involves equal and opposite actions and reactions.  Which as you are probably well aware is much easier said than done.  Especially when it comes to that of a mother and her ten year old.

While I may wish to vigorously deny it, my little girl is growing up.  She wants to learn more about the world but I am not sure they are things I am ready for her to learn about.  I want to keep her safe and sheltered away from having to explain why someone would sing about having a passion in their pants.  I don't want her thrusting around to video hits or listening to hip hop or any of the other terrible things 'kids' get up to these days.  I think I can actually understand how some people felt when Elvis first began to bless our lives with his gyrating.

I do not believe in letting kids roam the street.  I did not get to just wander aimlessly around streets and I don't want my children doing it either.  I am being swayed from my ways though.  Slowly and only in some ways.  I let her walk to the shop the other day to buy a tub of ice cream.  I can run to the shop and back in under ten minutes.  I am not a fast runner.
She had strict instructions on where to cross the road (it is busy).  I watched the clock the whole time she was gone.  She had my mobile, I resisted the urge to call her.  It was a long 20 minutes.  She didn't have to run.  She had a friend with her.  A few years older and allowed to roam the streets.
Her mother says she likes to know where she is (ah yes most mothers do), she works till after 9pm some nights though and there is no dad.  Just a sixteen year old brother.  She doesn't know what her daughter gets up in this time and frankly I am not sure she cares.  I could go on for quite some time about it all.  I won't.  I am sure you know where I stand by now.

As a mother, actually as a person, I know that we are all entitled to our own opinion and for the most part I am happy to embrace all sorts of different ideas and opinions.  However there are still some things that just totally amaze me.  Like the parents who agree at 6pm on a Saturday evening to bringing their daughter over for a sleep over.  I had been banking on them thinking this was a bit late and perhaps a little short notice.  They didn't give it a second thought.  They didn't even need to discuss it with me.  When they rang an hour later to ask for directions the mum decided to mention that her daughter had been home sick from school all week with a bit of a cough. Which was lovely as whopping cough has been passed around that school for months now.

When they finally made it I mentioned to the mother that at 8.30pm I would not be dropping my children anywhere and what a good mum that made her.  To which she responded with Thanks the sooner they are in bed or out somewhere else the sooner she can get on with her plans for the evening. I was left to pick my jaw up off the ground only to have it fall right back down when she told me that her daughter had panadol with her to self medicate as needed.

So why am I telling all this to you?

Well mainly because I am just flabbergasted at some people's choices and at least by saying it here I resist the urge to tell them in person.  Which is good because it is their business not mine.  However to some point these people are becoming my business as they may have an influence over my daughter.  One I may not be comfortable with.  My days of easy relaxed parenting are feeling slightly numbered.

A post for IBOT

A Return to Making Goals

Regular readers will know that like many mothers, I struggle at times with the housework.  The height of my Mt Washmore could possibly be in the running for some kind of record.  It is more than just a little crazy I tell ya!

Regular readers would also know that since joining in with Me & YOU I started to make a concerted effort to stay on top of daily chores that I know many other women around the world were able to regularly see to.  Despite growing up and being told "Rhianna you are not like everyone else" this is in fact one area of life where it wouldn't be such a bad thing.

Now I know on the surface suddenly becoming conscious if you will of the importance of regular effort may seem a little shallow.  But you see I was actually dealing with a lot more than just getting round to doing housework.  While I may on many occasions openly admit to being a little on the lazy side and easily distracted what I actually lack is self discipline and time management.  The great thing is that I am becoming more aware of these short fallings which in turn means I am more able to do something about them.  Unfortunately I haven't actually established what that will be yet but all in good time.

I really do believe that the turning point for all of this was because I started to take the time to stop and think about making goals.  Not only did I think about making goals but I actually did it and then set out to try and achieve them.  All of which is just wonderful only when the link up turned monthly I sort of lost my way.  

For the most part of the last twenty days I have given little thought to staying abreast of daily chores.  Which has naturally led to that over whelming, where do I start, out of control feeling that I am sure many of us are all to familiar with.  You know the one where it all gets put in the too hard basket and you walk away hoping someone else will deal with it all.  Only they don't and when you return it is worse than ever.

So with that in mind I am returning to making Mondays all about making goals.  I had for a while been participating in Making Goals Monday with Sarah over at Accepting and Embracing Autism only sadly it seems as if she no longer blogs there.  I am a little hesitant at using the term but I can't think of anything more fitting at the moment so I am just going to go with it.  If you think this terribly wrong of me, (big breath in) too bad!  No seriously I am not that tough, I was just trying to be funny, it's not terribly wrong of me is it?

Source

This week I will aim to

1. Keep the washing (at every stage) under control
2. Maintain a dish free sink area (this also includes cutlery, cups and pots and pans)
3. Be active at least once a day in some way (dancing and playing with children may be included)
4. Write at least three more than awesome posts
5. Consciously model the behaviours I wish to see in my children

That will do it for now.  I am always cautious about over doing things and setting unrealistic goals.  In the past my biggest failing was setting unrealistic goals.  As parents we tend to ensure that we set achievable goals for our children as we realise the importance of success for them.  I often neglect to treat myself the same way despite my need for success being just as important.

For a variety of reasons the past few weeks have been a bit rough for me.  Right now though I am feeling strong and confident.  Which is good.  I know I have another roughish patch just round the corner.  The stronger I am now the better it will all go.

If you are interested in some focused goal making drop me a line.  For a brief moment I thought about adding a linky tool, but then I realised the possibility of not getting anyone to join in was too great and I didn't want the rejection feeling my head would create.  While I might have just said I am feeling strong I am not feeling that strong yet.  Either way be sure to check back next week to see how I went and if by chance you like the idea of joining in write a post and leave the link in the comments for now.

Things aren't always all they are cracked up to be. That I know.

I know that it feels like forever since I have actually managed to publish a post and even longer since I last linked up with
  for her Friday fun that is

Frankly I don't really feel like I know a lot.  Naturally though I know that is not the case.  I actually know lots it is just a matter of tapping in and finding a way to share it all.  Or even some of it for that matter.

In some ways it has been a bit of a tough couple of weeks for me.  In many though I know I don't really have much to complain about.  There are people out there who have real problems and while I know everything is relative I would much rather tell myself I have lots to be happy for so quit complaining.

Having said that though I know I am just about to go and complain for just a little, but not too much, I promise.

As I sit here I know I have three other posts all patiently waiting for my attention.  The first was supposed to be a link up with Sif who regularly shares 10 Things on a Tuesday.  In the spirit of November I had was going to list ten possible story ideas.  I got to five before it got too hard.  Needless to say NaNoWriMo is not going well for me... (This post is also now up leaving only one more to be done)

The next was meant to link up it Kate and share what I was thankful for.  Which at that point in time was some awesome blog posts.  Though I had actually been hoping for a smart and funny way to actually say I was thankful for myself.  There are some parts of this post that I think are just awesome and it would be a shame not to share.  (Yay! This post is now up)

Last up is one that starts out discussing the place of logic.  What I really wanted to be discussing was actually a response to a post I had recently read at My Mummy Daze on the similarities between blogging and high school.  Only it never really got that far as I couldn't find a good segue to get me there.  (sigh)

I know that it has been a tough week in the bloggy writing world I live in.  Or don't live in which is a little more appropriate way of describing things of late.  I know that I do love writing so much but there just never seems to be the time.  Or rather the ideas never seem to be there when I have the time.

(deep sigh)

I know that I guess I will just keep plodding along and hope for the best.  Right now the best would simply entail finding the time and words to finish these other posts so I can get started on some more.

What do you know?

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Beginning Here and Ending There

I just don't know where to begin.  Naturally the beginning seems like a logical place to start.  But life doesn't always go with logical.  For all it's worth and use at times, logic doesn't always have a place in the world. There are many parts of my life that fail to reach the reasons of logic.  Sometimes I am fine with that, others I am not.

See the brilliance of logic is that it makes everything all make sense.  That is what logic does.  So without logic you can at times be left with a whole bunch of stuff that just doesn't make sense.  Which in terms of one's life is not really all that great.  I don't know about you but I tend to find some comfort when I know my life is making sense.  It might only be making sense to me, myself and I but I don't mind.  After all I am the one that needs to live with it.

Moving on though.

Earlier tonight I stumbled across this post over at My Mummy Daze For those too lazy (or time poor as I sometimes prefer) it is all about how blogging could easily be likened to high school.  Strangely enough I had been thinking of something similar a little while ago.  I still haven't found a way to share exactly what it is I have been thinking but it went along the lines of how I suddenly had feelings of inadequacy reminiscent of feelings I had at high school.

You see at high school I never really felt like I belonged.  The cool people didn't want me and dare I say it aloud (please don't hate me) I wanted to think I was too cool for the nerds.  Little did I know.  The nerds were probably the ones that were too cool for me.  At least they had the courage to be a lot truer to themselves than I was.

Whenever I started to feel comfortable with my place in the school and perhaps even myself something would happen to stuff it all up.  I would say something that someone would take the wrong way.  I would wear the wrong thing or I would think in a way different to the majority.  Don't feel too sorry for me though as for as much as I let other make me feel out of place I still managed to make others feel the same way.  All just a vicious circle really.  One where deep down we are actually all the same just for some reason to scared to admit it.

Lately I have felt similar about blogging.  Well sort of.  At times I feel like there is a cool crowd.  Blogs with lots of readers and followers and owners who constantly write the most awesome stuff that I really have thought of just never got around to sharing.  I read lots of other blogs and look at them with blog envy.  Be it design, content, or even a combination of both.  They all seem to have something that I do not.  I am not even sure I am close to the esteem I perceive others to have or if I even want to be.  I just don't feel like I fit though.  Much like my memories of high school. I just didn't feel like I fitted in anywhere.

What I find particularly interesting though is that this is how many other people feel as well.  In fact lately it feels like every blog post I go to is something that talks straight to me.  It leaves me sitting there wondering if perhaps I have actually found others on a similar (if not the same) wavelength. Which i must say is a bit nice.  You see my feelings of not fitting are not just limited to high school and blogging.  It is a feeling that has plagued me my entire life.  Thankfully with age I have learnt to not let it worry me so much.