Changing to find the right words

It's fair to say that writing here on this old blog of mine has taken a bit of a back seat of late. Partly because of the busyness of life and partly because I just haven't been sure of what to say. Which quite frankly has made me a bit sad.

A Parenting Life has always been a place where I could find something to say. Sure it might not always have been the best of things but it was at least something, which is always better than nothing.

Anyways while I lamented over not being able to find the right words to write here it seemed like I had only one option.

Start a new blog.

Seriously.

I struggled to find the right words for here so surely it would be easy to find some words for a new blog with a fresh new start?

Well the first post was, but then I realised I didn't like the dodgy header I put together in a rush and suddenly not only could not share my new space with anyone but nor could I find words for there either.

This wonderful new blog title sat empty for well over a week while I tried desperately to think of something of worth to say. My answer to finding my words again just made the words even harder to find.

Oh the sighing.

To make things even worse stupid Facebook made things next to impossible to change the name of my page from A Parenting Life. I reluctantly went about setting up a new one only given how long it has taken to build my community I wonder why.

Anyway yesterday I bit the bullet and managed to actually write something that I deemed worthy of being able to post in my new space. I still don't know exactly what to do with my old space though. There are so many words and so many memories it doesn't seem right for it to just stop being.

For now though it will be and I guess over time everything else will work itself out.

Joining in with Jess for IBOT

Just writing

So the Mister has taken the two youngest to the pool for a swim and to burn off any excess energy that is lingering from a morning of not much. Giving me a few moments alone and unattended in the house. The house that is relatively together and not in desperate need of attention. For a change.

Photo found here

Sure the washing machine is beeping and the dishwasher waiting to be emptied and refilled, but they can all wait a little longer. The floors have been vacuumed and yesterday they were even mopped. The load in the machine is only pool towels, which signifies the washing is essentially under control. The pool towels only get washed when everything else is out the way.

All the indicators point to it being ok for me to be here.

The eldest has headed to the local shopping centre to wander around with a friend. Apparently as a twelve year old that is what you do these days.

I try to rewind my mind back to twelve but honestly it seems so long ago. So so long ago. 

I start to wonder if I ever was twelve?  Of course I must have been. It's not like I went from being eleven to being thirteen. Twelve had to have been in there.

It all seems so foggy and hazy. Such distant memories, tightly locked away, supposedly for safe keeping. I know I was twelve the first time I met the Mister. He made my heart stop and race all at once, even then. I might not have had much to do with boys at that stage but boy did I want to.

Working out the maths for how long ago I was twelve makes my mind want to explode because all I really want to do is write, not worry about what it is like having a twelve year old daughter and whether or not I am doing an ok job or not out at keeping her safe. And I must definitely do not want to work out how long ago I was twelve.Which is all totally ridiculous because I am only 35. 

I just want to write!!

Despite the quiet grumbles from my stomach I opt for spending time here rather than in the kitchen. Because that is how much I want to write. And there are no children here and there is no reason why I shouldn't just sit down and write.

It is after all day ten of Nanowrimo and I am yet spit out more than a few pages of handwritten scrawl. (Which I am certain is nothing but complete awesome because of the emotional throws I was experiencing at the time)

This year I seem to know more people than ever before giving it a go, Nanowrimo that is. It should inspire me to join their ranks and write away. Yet for some reason I am stumped. I can't seem to make the time to just sit and write. 

There just never seems to be enough hours in the day. If only day dreaming were not so time consuming. What with the desire to write, and read, or just create anything really combined with the all the other things that as a mother I am expected to do it so often feels like I never actually get anything done.

Though of course I do. It may not always be what I wanted to do, or even set out to do but things do inevitably get done. 

Much like this post. It may not be part of my Nano efforts but it is something, which is always better than nothing. Apparently. 

Writers Reveal - A prompt from J.C Wolfe

This month's prompt for me as part of the Writers Reveal group at Emily Morgan Writes, was given to me by J.C Wolfe. Now I don't know why but somehow this all slipped to the back of my mind, and I failed to get my post out on the required day and time. 

My bad and I am super sorry.

Of course thanks to the wonders of modern technology though the post is back dated and if I had of kept my mouth shut you would have been none the wiser!

Only I feel the need to tell you because now rather than being filled with deep and mind-blowing wishes it will be rushed through and slapped together with the barest of thoughts.

A fairy comes to you and grants you three wishes. You can make any three wishes you want, under the following condition:

One wish is just for you,
One wish is for your family,
And one wish is for the world

I think the one wish for me, other than the published book or other related dreams I spoke of last time, is that I wish to no longer be a world class procrastinator. My constant delaying of absolutely everything is holding me back from being all that I can, I am sure of it. This post is quite possibly all the evidence required for proof.

The wish for my family is pretty easy. I wish for them to all live happy and long lives. Filled with lots of love and laughter. I wish for my girls to always be comfortable within their own skin and know that all that they are is more than enough. Though that may all be more than one wish.

As for my wish for the world? Well I don't want to sound all Miss Beauty Queen like but there really is something lovely about the concept of world peace isn't there? Either that or ending the gaps of inequality or hunger.

What would your answers have been?

Are you a terrible procrastinator as well?

Please take the time to check out some of the other writers taking part this month.

Emily Morgan Writes

Melissa Writes

JFGibson

The Wolfe's Den

Imagine Create Write

always Josefa

Ghostnapped

You learn something new everyday

Things I know about deadlines and choosing story titles

The time has come, the walrus said to share of what you know! 

Image from here

Ok so maybe that is not quite what he said, but writer's license and all.

Hello and welcome to another week of Things I Know! Well and truly one of the easiest link ups to come and join in with because we all know something!

This week I know all about the joy of deadlines. Even though I had plenty, of time, well forty eight hours, to get my story written I was sitting there with less than five minutes to spare trying to decide on a title. And by that I mean I had texted a friend two options and was waiting for her reply.

I know that I should have gone with Love in an Apple Orchard rather than A Grandparent's Love as the title. My friend, totally oblivious to the urgency of my question took her sweet time in replying leaving me to make my own decision. I went with the grandparent love one on account of it being already saved to the file as that and there not being a whole lot of time.

I know that play centres provide me with a great place to sit and write. Though not necessarily the things that I need to get written most.

I know that being so consumed with writing for forty eight hours is pretty exciting. Though for as much consumption in that time there was also procrastination.

I know that waiting till the end of October for the results to come out is not going to be nearly as exciting.

I know that forgetting about it all until then is a brilliant idea, but perhaps easier said than done.

I know that there is nothing more I can do now. Just hope and wait. At the end of the second round I need to be in the top 5 of my group to progress to the next round. Oh how I hope I have written a better story than twenty other people. As much as first would be great I will be pretty pumped (and surprised) to make the top 5.

I know that I am a bit pleased with myself to have streamlined the appearance of all my blogs. I was chatting to a designer guy recently who was trying very hard to charm me out of  $6o a month so that I could give the blog a very professional looking make over. He rightly pointed out in no uncertain terms that I had a very disjointed look across the board so it pleases me to know I found a way around that without parting with my money.

I know that there is a part of me that wants to live in a world where I pay out $60 a month to make the blogs look pretty. Purely because I know if I lived in that world it would mean I would be earning way more than that expenditure. Why else would there be any expenditure?

I know that blogging is not about making money. But any I can get from it would be nice.

I know that I was stoked to see nine lovely people come and share all the things they knew last week.

I know you know something, and I know you should share it here!

Grab the button below (or just link back to this post) and tell us what you know.

<div align="center"><a href="http://www.aparentinglife.com/search/label/TIK" title="A Parenting Life Things I Know" target="_blank"><img src="http://i1186.photobucket.com/albums/z380/lourhi/tik_zps989a3950.png" alt="A Parenting Life Things I Know" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

Love in an Apple Orchard.

Is probably what I should have called my entry for the first round of the #flashfictionchallenge. But I didn't and there is probably little point worrying about it now. Actually there is no point worrying about it at all because it is far too late to do anything about it now. As it was I only just managed to scrape in with mere moments before the deadline anyway.

Being the silver lining lover that I am though all is not lost and even if I don't progress in the competition I am super glad I decided to take part. The upside to having a looming deadline is that I manage to get lots of other stuff done. Especially when it comes to writing.

I took the opinion that as long as I was writing, something, anything, then I would be getting that little bit closer to the story that needed to be told for the competition. This essentially meant that at every opportunity I had to be writing.

On Sunday I found myself at an indoor play centre with no one to talk to. Oh the hardship I know 

Here are some of the thoughts that passed through my head in that time.

Sitting inside a play centre may not be the most quiet environment, yet somehow it still manages to create a space conducive for me to write in. As noisy as it may be the noise is not actually directed toward me. Instead it just surrounds me, leaving me feel not unlike an island. Which in many ways is quite nice.

Love is everywhere if you take
the time to look

There are a few large gatherings of various families and their friends. Birthday parties I imagine. Chatter and laughter filling the centre, intermittently pierced by screams and screeches of excitement, as it all becomes to much for some of the young participants.

Me - I just sit here oblivious to it all. Twelve years of parenting has taught me how to switch off even in the noisiest of times. 

I have only the middle child with me today. I marvel at her self confidence and ability to just go and play, despite not actually knowing anyone.  A friend from school asked if we could meet here to use the vouchers that the girls received from hockey. I couldn't say no. No matter how much I may have wanted to.

It is always with great reluctance that I venture away from the man I love when he is not at work. There could never be too much time spent with him as far as I am concerned. Never, ever, never.

This playdate however has been requested on numerous occasions. Each time I have managed to find some excuse not to go. Why that is I do not know. I think it is just so often I don't want to leave the house regardless of how much fun I think may or may not be had. 

With the voucher expiration date looming it could no longer logically be postponed. I took the silver lining as being some quality writing time.

Twenty for hours into the competition and not a word of a story has been written. Leaving twenty four hours for a thousand words to be found.  A romance, in an apple orchard, with mention of a fake moustache...

Sharing with Essentially Jess for IBOT

Monday Mention - Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award

Since I have a little over twelve hours till the #flashfictionchallenge deadline for the first round it seems only natural that I take time out and write a blog post. Of course when I say take time out I don't necessarily mean from working on my entry. Oh no.

More like time out from gazing through my Facebook feed. I thought that some idle mind time might allow for the thoughts of my story to gather and develop. The jury is still out on whether it worked or not.

For reasons beyond my control #notreally I found myself at an indoor play centre earlier today. A notepad and pen were also present and I had nothing else to do. One would of thought that a perfect time for the story of a lifetime to unfold. Instead though a rambling recount of some random thoughts were set free. 

For those interested if all goes to plan this will be shared on Tuesday for IBOT, I may not have my entry done yet but I am organised in some ways. Which is also kinda why I am here now as well.

Anyways, for today's Monday Mention I want to mention some thanks to Emily from Emily Morgan Writes because on Friday she awarded me with

Which I gotta say is kinda cool. 

Especially when I read stuff like this

on a list that includes blogs like Have A Laugh On Me, Essentially Jess and Always Josefa. I can not begin to explain what kind of happy it makes. Though there are times when I question why I need such validation, but then is validation not the crux of life sometimes? Oh the thoughts we think hey?

Recently Circle of Moms was polling for their Top Aussie Mom Blogs. I signed myself up with great anticipation a few years ago but since then vowed and declared I would stay right away. I hadn't really been blogging all that long. I thought that perhaps it would give me some feedback on where I stood in the blogosphere.

Clearly I had no idea.

For those that don't know Circle Of Moms compiles list for bloggers to ask to be included in. To make the top 25 you must poll the most votes. It is one of those vote every day things so if you have a large and loyal readership pleading for votes is an easy way to make the top of the list.

Which really is all well and good and I don't mean to sound like I begrudge those that make the list because I don't, because just quietly I would have kittens with excitement if I made that list. Or any list for that matter. And I certainly don't mean to imply that I don't have loyal readers because believe me I know I do and I thank each and every one of you that takes the time to stop by and read whatever words and thoughts I have shared. Seriously it makes my day to know when people have stopped by.

It just gets back to that need for validation I guess.

Anyway part of the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award thing is that I should pass it on to 10-12 other bloggers and then go and tell them about it. Which actually causes me a bit of a dilemma in many ways.

The first is I am time poor and a tad lazy. Linking all those blogs in would be a pain in the you know where and something I am not very interested in right at this present point in time. Which in case you have forgotten is twelve hours away from a deadline needing no more than a thousand words for a romance, set in an apple orchard with reference to a fake moustache.

At last count I was 150 words down. But I am now doubtful as to their usefulness. But I digress.

The other issue with choosing people is that means there will be people I don't choose. It sucks being left out, I know from far too much experience, as I am sure most of us do in one way or another. I don't need to worry about someone feeling left out because they didn't make my list.

Yes I know this means I miss out on knowing I made someone's day by putting them on my list but that is just the way the cookie crumbles. And cookie crumbs I can deal with.

So tell me, who would you put on the list?

The Joys Of Handwriting. Or not.

It has been forever since I took pen to paper and wrote.

Of course that does not mean I have not been writing.

For I have.

Just not this slow old fashioned way.

And just between you and me, even after only these few short lines I have found it to be quite arduous. To say the least. There is certainly something wonderful to be said about keyboard typing and the modern computer.

Coming back and retyping my handwritten mess and all I can see are ways to have said the same differently. Which is nice and all but really slows the whole typing thing down. I guess that is just one of the joys of editing.

As I write my mind is having a thousand other thoughts at once. All of which it wants written immediately. If not sooner. There is a part of me which wants to jump up and grab my phone and Instagram the moment.

Because that is what people do these days. Instagram all that they do.

All I want to do is capture in time the beauty of taking the time to write by hand. So rarely it happens these days. I am disgraced at how messy my scrawl appears. A sign of how fast my hand was trying to write, I guess.

I don't on this occasion because in my absent mindedness I will more than likely forget about my original intention before I manage to find my phone. So instead I think constantly about it and decide to jot it down here only to find that my hand is unable to keep up with the speed at which my mind wants it to.

The end result of all of this is that my writing is less than legible and I am left wondering why I didn't just get up and take the damn photo because at this point I have forgotten what it was I actually sat down to write about. All the while my aching wrist is wondering for how much longer I plan to keep up this handwriting palaver.

Dreams {Writers Reveal Prompt}

 This month's prompt for "Writers Reveal" was given to me by the lovely Becky over at Imagine Create Write.

You may have noticed (if you are super super observant and have very little else to think about) that there has been a slight name change since last month where it was called "Secret Subject Swap"

Apparently someone else somewhere on the world wide web had already come up with that name and wasn't overly keen on there being another one. Which I guess I kinda understand but can't help but feel there could very well be enough room on the Interwebs for two secret subject swaps. But what do I know?

Back to my post for now.

Picture via here
After searching 'dreams' at my favourite photo site this was the one that I liked best.
I had 703 to choose from in case you are interested.

Dreams.

Honestly the first thing that comes to my mind when I hear the word dreams is the song by Gabrielle. Well at least the chorus is 

Dreams can come true

Look at me babe I'm with you

You know you gotta have hope

You know you gotta be strong

Being a teenager in the nineties this song was almost like a mantra to me for a while. Actually now that I think about it maybe I can recall a boy and a disco and some dancing....but maybe I am just dreaming as well.

When I first received the prompt from Becky, my mind when into overdrive. The possibilities of writing about dreams seemed endless. After all dreams are something we all have aren't they? Naturally this meant I left it all to the last minute and probably won't take on any of my brilliant ideas over the last few weeks.

One of my current dreams involve winning the lottery and running away in caravan till the money runs out. While I am off galavanting around the country I will be inspired to pen words in such a way that publishers will be frantically chasing after me offering all kinds of amazing deals, which will prevent the money from ever running out and I can be a gypsy kind of gal forever. Only a very rich gypsy, or at least one that never has to worry about making ends meet.

If all goes to plan, this dream (apart from the lotto and book deal, so really just galavanting around the country bit) should come into fruition by July next year. I. Can. NOT. Wait! Mr A is due for his long service next year and we are going to use that time (plus some extra) to hit the road and show the kidlets this great land we call home. Beyond excited is what I am.

Generally I don't hold on to dreams and plans and what have you. I tend to over plan and not actually achieve anything so experience has taught me that as long as I am pointed in the right direction to just go with the flow and hope for the best. A trip of this magnitude though is probably going to need a little preparation to ensure it evolves from just being a pipe dream.

Sigh.

What dreams do you have?

Please take the time to check out some of the other writers taking part this month.
Emily Morgan Writes
Melissa Writes

JFGibson

The Wolfe's Den

Imagine Create Write

always Josefa

Ghostnapped

My Little Sunshine House

Secret Subject Swap Reveal - 1

Astute and observant regular readers would have noticed a little badge appear in my side bar the other week.

In case you missed it it looks a little like this

Ok so it looks a lot like that, because that is it.

Secret Subject Swap is the brain child of Emily who can be found here and here. She asked myself and a bunch of other uber cool bloggers, (a full list is at the end of the post) if we were interested in setting some secret writing prompts for each other and all publishing on the same day. Given my desire to challenge myself as a writer whenever possible I jumped at the chance. Plus I am always a fan of anything secret, but who isn't?

So today is the day on which we are all to unveil our secret prompts. Mine was given to me by the ever lovely Josefa from always Josefa. 

Image from here
Painted by Craig Orback

“His talent was as natural as the pattern that was made by the dust on a butterfly's wings. At one time he understood it no more than the butterfly did and he did not know when it was brushed or marred. Later he became conscious of his damaged wings and of their construction and he learned to think and could not fly any more because the love of flight was gone and he could only remember when it had been effortless.”

This quote was said by Ernest Hemingway in reference to Scott Fitzgerald. I encourage you to interpret, write, prose, describe or philosophise in any way you like as a response to this quote.

Deep huh?

Now full credit to Josefa because she gave me this some what complex prompt with plenty of time to think it all over and come up with something truly wonderful. Which I promise I had every intention of doing. Honest, I did.

When I first read it I was totally excited because I thought it was just the excuse I was looking for to re-read The Great Gatsby. I fondly recall devouring the pages back when I was a university student. With the recent release of the latest movie version I had been thinking of doing so anyway but had just not quite got around to it. Surprisingly, or not, I still haven't managed to pull it off the book shelf.

Nor did I get around to researching what else old Ernest had to say. Or anyone else for that matter. Technically I could get up and turn the internet on and have a look now but I lost interest at the getting up part. It is the end of another long day after all. Plus with the internet on I am not likely to be able to resist the time void that is Facebook (but please come and like my page). Tragic I know but in my defence I have been resisting the temptations of evil ALL. DAY. LONG.

I have however pondered greatly on how Josefa came across the quote and what prompted her to pass it on to me. Did she simply Google butterfly and go from there? I mean that makes sense because I like butterflies (but again who doesn't?) Or is there more to it than that? Was it perhaps a prompt that she herself was given at some point in time. Such a crafter writer as her is bound to have completed at least a course or two at some point. 

Needless to say I then question all that I am. Wonder whether the prompt I passed onto Ashely cut the mustard. Did she struggle with it as much as I with mine? Did she curse me and my stupid prompt like I may or may not have? Was it completely off the mark and not what was expected? Should I even be a part of such a group?

Nothing like a dose of self doubt to get the creative juices flowing. Or not.

The distracted procrastinator in me then kicks in and the original train of thought is completely gone and long forgotten. My post still a blank canvas and my mind in much the same state.

I go back and read the quote again. For the umpteenth time I might add. Desperate to try and find something, anything that I make into a worthy post and hold onto the hope there is a chance for me and this writing gig.

“His talent was as natural as the pattern that was made by the dust on a butterfly's wings. At one time he understood it no more than the butterfly did and he did not know when it was brushed or marred. Later he became conscious of his damaged wings and of their construction and he learned to think and could not fly any more because the love of flight was gone and he could only remember when it had been effortless.”

I can't help but wonder if my own wings are perhaps a little damaged. Only if they are, I hope the dust can once again be brushed on to them and I can go back to it being effortless. Life in general of late has been far from effortless, but that is not what I want to get caught up in now.Right now I want to get caught up on dissecting all the different ways Hemmingway's words could be interpreted regarding his friend. 

But alas 'tis now late and this post long enough for now.

Other Secret Subject Swappers include

Melissa Writes

JFGibson

The Wolfe's Den

Imagine Create Write

always Josefa

Ghostnapped

My Little Sunshine House

#Hashtags. What are they and why are they here?

If you are a regular social media user and like to hang out at the likes of Instagram or Twitter you are probably all over the term hashtag. If however your social media habits only extend as far as Facebook you could very well be wondering what all the fuss is about.

Now I am by no means a social media expert but I do like to think I have a grasp of the basic. Some may even say that I have a strong grasp on the basics and I for one would not argue with them. With all of that in mind I feel that it is only fair that I share some of my knowledge with those less informed but curious none the less.

A thought that was confirmed for me when I asked my loyal Facebook likers if they were interested in such information. Sure only two out of 416 responded but that is enough confirmation for me.

So what is all the hashtag (#) fuss and why do I feel the need to share the fuss with you?

Well hashtags have recently been added to Facebook and if you are someone like me trying to gain greater exposure on through this medium it is a little exciting. If however, you are an average Joe Blow, free from the addiction that social media can be, you maybe left wondering what all the hashtag fuss is about. I do assure you that once you understand the joys that are hashtags your excitement levels will begin to soar.

Bear with me and let me explain a little more.

What is a #hashtag?

Essentially a hashtag is just a means of grouping like minded posts together. It is represented by the # at the start of a word or term. 

To find the # symbol you generally just push shift and 3 on a standard computer keyboard. It is often found on the second number/symbol keyboard on smart phones. Please don't think I am patronising here by telling you where to find it because just between you and me it took me ages to find it on my phone. Thankfully most apps are now designed to make it easier to find the hashtag button it can sometimes take a bit of looking for. Anywho...

The moment you place a # in front of a word or term it becomes automatically linked to all other posts that have the same word or term hashtagged. Which means it is a great way of searching for things. 

Say for example you were looking for some new crochet patterns or inspiration. All you have to do is go to the internal search feature and type #crochet and wham bam thank you 'mam there are heap of posts full of crochet goodness.

Some of the posts that came up when I searched the hashtag
#crochet on Facebook.

Why are they here?

According to the reliable source that is an uncited article on Wikipedia, hashtags were first seen in Internet Relay Chat, which as the name suggests is some sort of conversation mechanism via the internet. It was deemed handy there to group conversations and this was seen as the way to do it. 

By grouping conversations it was easier to keep track of conversations that were of interest to those from varied backgrounds and not necessarily friends with each other. By hashtagging posts similar content can be grouped together making it easier for all relevant information on a particular topic easy to find.

On services such as Twitter, if enough people are using a particular hashtag it is known as trending. Trending topics are those with the highest popularity and seen as a great way to gain exposure. For the user trending topics are a way to stay a float of what is hot.

Ultimately though hashtags are here as they provide a nice easy uniform way of grouping things together and what computer nerd doesn't like grouping things together?

So there you have all you need to know about the wonders that are hashtags.

It's 3 am...

Actually it is more like 7.25am but 3am is much catchier. When I thought of the title it was 5.21am and since that was only a little over two hours after 3am I figured my writers license could cover the difference. Since then however I have been prevented from writing as I have been busy mediating two over tired and preventing them from causing harm to one and other. 

Two more days to school holidays.Actually scratch that, this has taken so long to get out there is now only one day left

Maybe that should have been my title?

I can not wait for this much needed break. The monotony of school routine has almost become to much to bare. Though by monotony I think I may actually mean frustration.

Speaking of which it is now well past 3pm. Where did the day go?

Sitting here now at 3.45pm I would like to say the day flew by in a flurry of activity, leaving me feeling productive and accomplished, but that would be kinda like lying. The day slipped away in a slow motion blur of my just going through the phases of trying to get something, anything done.

Would you believe that it is now preciously 24 hours since I first sat down to type?

image source

Time is such a funny thing. I think about time all the time. Always have. It both fascinates and scares the bejeezes out of me at the same time. Especially as a mother. I think that once you become a mother, from that moment that little egg is fertilised and begins to grow into an embryo and beyond, time starts to take on a whole new meaning.

I can remember a time, well it was a particular night actually. Actually it was probably the early hours of the morning by the time this memory took place, but really that is all a bit irrelevant I guess. Anyway, this one time, but not band camp, in my teeny tiny smaller than the shoebox I now live in unit, my love of my life at the time got so frustrated with my obsession with all things time, that he smashed his fist right through our clock.

It was horrific. It snapped me right out of where I was (which by the way was thinking I had the power to alter time, slow seconds and all manner of crazy things)

We were clearly of altered minds during this time. Something that I am not necessarily proud of but it is what it is. Or rather it is what is was. We were young and stupid and thinking we were living life. The upside to all of this is that when it comes to discussing drugs and alcohol with the girls I will have a little more to offer than what some brochure or book has to say.

But as always I digress a little.

I have had the following floating around for a month or two. It is written on the scrappiest piece of paper you ever did see. Children have doodled on it, the bird has poohed on the corner and my hand writing is so rushed and messy that it is all barely legible anyway.

Mr Awesome has gone to throw it out numerous times. Thankfully I have been able to save it just in time. I don't blame him really it does look like rubbish. On the surface at least. To me it is something else though. What I am not sure, I just know I want to be able to come back and read it whenever I want.

And now I can.

It's funny how moments just slip us by.
Moments that could be savoured forever. 
Moments that should be saved forever, slip by our hands almost like sands through the hourglass.

Seconds that just tick tock past quicker than we know.
Faster than what we can really see.
Taken and enjoyed all within an instant.
A heart beat before it is done.
Life offers so much more than what we think it holds.

Words, writing, and what not

It is around six years since I first started to seriously consider the possibility of actually being a writer. With great conviction I convinced Mr Awesome that if we purchased a computer I would be able to somehow generate an income through writing on the world wide web. Surely there wasn't that much too it was there?

Ah yeah. About that. Little did I know. 

Apparently every man, woman and their respective dog was also under the same misguided notion. 

While I did actually manage to make some money over at Helium it wasn't enough to even come close to living on or even making much of a difference to our weekly budgeting. In fact all it really did was easily justify some eBay shopping. Which is not exactly a bad thing I know, but was still not paying the bills.

The good thing about Helium, at least back then, was that I didn't have to think about what to write. They provided the topic headings to choose from and away I went. There was also the thrill of competitions and the instancy of self publication. There is of course all of that still but the set up for topic selection has changed and I struggle a little to find something that takes my fancy. Well that and about a thousand other excuses that I make for most things I never end up doing.

I have held onto the notion of being a writer for as long as I can remember, though really probably only since my early teenage years. 

Back when anything seemed possible. 

Back when I was certain I was destined to go onto a life the wielded great power and responsibility. Back when all manner of things were going to take place.

Back when life was simple and I had little idea about most things.

Sigh. 

Deep, deep, let it all out sigh.

While I do still hold onto hope that one day I will see my name in real print, as opposed to my blog or some other internet based thing that will essentially take anyone, I am not exactly holding my breath. I also take comfort in the fact that in some ways I can already consider myself to be a writer. 

Given I try to write something at least nearly every day surely I have something in common with being a writer?

The lovely Alison over at Life In A Pink Fibro (who by the way is a real writer) has brought back the Weekend Rewind linky, where bloggers are able to link in a post from the past. This week the theme is writing. Right up my alley really.

While I was certain I had a post to share I wasn't sure which post would be the winner winner chicken dinner. A quick search of the blog brought up some 25 posts that had the word writing in them. 

Selecting the best one was no easy feat. Which is why I am here writing now as opposed to doing the housework. Much to Mr A's disappointment I can tell you. I did however manage to narrow it down to a few and eventually just the one. However it seemed a travesty for those other gems not to get a chance at seeing the light of day again so without further adieu here are a few for you to read through.

From An insight into why I write (October 31 2012)

Writing it all out was supposed to make me feel better. So far it hasn't.

Writing is like my best friend. It listens quietly and patiently to whatever drama my head is trying to comes to terms with. It lets me say things I wouldn't ordinarily say in person. Words that if I said out loud I fear I may choke on so I don't even try to say them, instead bottling it all up waiting to explode under the pressure of it all.

Writing lets it all out. It stops me from exploding and keeps me together. Read more

From The Blank Screen (July 10 2012)

Staring into the screen she didn't know where to begin.  Her fingers hovering over the keys, trying to decipher which ones should be pressed in which order.  Pen and paper was so passe these days. 

Any real writing that had to be done was always typed.  Mind you she had little choice.  Handwriting had always been too slow when it came to getting the words processed at the high speed that her brain would send words gushing out at.  She just couldn't write fast enough and it would turn out to be one big jumbled mess of nonsense. Read more

From On being a writer

One of the toughest things about trying to be a writer is getting started.  The coming up with ideas not a problem.  I have more ideas floating around my pretty little head than I know what to do with.  Actually getting those ideas out of said pretty little head and transferred through my fingertips to the keyboard and appear on the screen is another things altogether.

Writing is a process there is no doubt about that.  A process that is both different and alike for writers the world over.  Or at least I imagine it to be like that.  Having never really conversed much with writers the world over I am actually only guessing, but I am pretty sure I am on the money (or at least close to it). Read more

From Writing dreams with coffee (Feb 1, 2013)

Sitting there in front of the computer screen, her mind was blank.

Totally void of any and all thoughts or ideas. 

But then that was nothing new. It was like the screen, or the keyboard or maybe even the chair, something anyway, seemed to suck every sensible consciousness out of her being when she sat to write.

Letting out a deep sigh she got up and walked away. Maybe a coffee would help.

Maybe letting go of that crazy notion that there was indeed a writer within her just waiting to be unleashed would help. Though she had held onto that crazy notion for so long now that she doubted whether letting go of it was really possible. It felt like it was ingrained upon her soul. Her destiny if you will. Read more

Ok well that is probably enough for now. If you really want to read more of my thoughts involving the word writing, feel free to use the search bar to the right. If you are after reading some more of what other people think about writing then head here

Which post do you think I should include?

On writing, zombies and wanting to crack Google

Image from here

One of the main reasons I blog is because I have this crazy aspiration that I am destined to be a writer. And a famous one at that. Naturally every time I see something telling me that blogging is not actual writing I cringe and wonder if I ever really will be the writer that I dream of. You know all famous and well known, and paid.

Of course then there are those that will say just by regularly posting on a blog I am essentially a writer. At least of sorts. There are always grey areas in life, well apart from death. Which is pretty much black and white. You are either dead or alive and that is all there is to it. Though having just watched the movie Warm Bodies, even the whole dead thing is perhaps not as black and white as what we may have once believed. 

Not that I want to spoil the movie for those that haven't seen it but essentially it is all about Zombies being cured with a little love and hope. Which I must admit, apart from the Zombie aspect is exactly my cup of tea.

Have I ever mentioned how I feel about Zombies?

Just quietly they make my stomach churn and my eyes squeeze tightly shut. Which as you can imagine makes watching a full feature film narrated and starring a Zombie just a little bit tricky. The whole eating of brains, pale skin and inability to communicate is just a little much for this little black duck.

Having said that though I am contemplating writing up a proper review for the movie. Though that may mainly be more to do with a desire to see if I could crack Google algorithms and make it onto the first page of searches for movie reviews for Warming Bodies.

A few months ago I wrote a post about how I made a pigs in mud cake for EssentiallyJess. Since then my page views have skyrocketed and left me feeling all kinds of awesome. Apparently people the world over are interested in making this cake and yours truly seems to be a hit in search times.

All of which is of course awesome and please Google gods and powers that be don't think for an instant that I am complaining because I am not. Well ok maybe just a little but not really.

I do love the fact that each and every day I can see more and more people stopping by this little old blog of mine, it is just that I kinda would like them to stop by and read just more than that one post. 

Hence the desire to see if I can jag the whole SEO thing again with a review for Warm Bodies. Or anything for that matter. A movie review of a latest release just seems like the easiest way to try. Despite all my other movie review attempts being a flop. But then again I am the eternal optimist.

Have you seen Warm Bodies?

Do you like Zombie movies?

What is your life long dream?

Life changing moments and people

All that sparkles and glistens

Sometimes in life you meet people and have moments that are just simply life changing. 

They somehow manage to instantly connect to your inner core. 

Deeply penetrating your beliefs. 

Changing the way you think, act or feel.

There were plenty of such people and moments at the recent Digital Parents Conference held at the magical Curzon Hall.

On stage women shared some of the most heart breaking stories that one could ever imagine. I sat there at the back of room wondering where one would find the strength to live through what they did. 

I suddenly felt so small and insignificant. 

With so many amazing people all in the one room I wondered what on earth was I doing there? 

There were so many people who I knew but didn't really. 

Women who had made my heart go out to them as I read their tales told through their blog. Women who I really wanted to meet and connect further with. Women who I wondered how I could introduce myself to. Women who I wanted to talk to but didn't know how to keep them interested when there were so many other people around.

Hands up if you were one of the few
I felt brave enough to hand one
of these little beauties to?

There were others there that I knew not so well, but hoped for some strange reason they had heard of little ol' me. Not many of them had. 

It was always with great trepidation that I handed out my card. Wondering if the receiver was really interested in getting it at all. 

Which was a shame really because I thought they were such lovely little cards when I posted this to Instagram. In fact I still do think they are so lovely little cards. Which is lucky given how many of them I still have to hand out...

Not for a moment did I think that any of these women might be feeling much the same as me. 

Why would they when they were all clearly full of so much awesome? Why would they when they all seemed to belong there, so much more than me?

When I left to go to the conference, I was adamant that I would walk away much wiser than I went in. There was no doubt in my mind that I would have a positive experience and be richer for it. Despite my lack of confidence when I got there, before arriving I fully expected to be told of my greatness.

Which I was. 

Just not in the way I was expecting. But that's ok.

In fact it is possibly even better.

I have heard first hand how I have made a difference. How my words brought comfort and solace in a time of need. How I made others feel better about themselves. How we can touch people and change them, even without knowing it at the time. All the things I needed, when I needed them most.

As I predicted I will walk away from #DPCON13 a much wiser woman. Not necessarily in terms of great things to do with the blog. But more about me, myself and I. My three favourite topics!

Joining in for all the blogging fun of Tuesday blogging over at Essentially Jess