Hmmmm ... ... ...

So the every day thing has not happened. Hands up all those who were surprised. Not me that is for sure. I did think though that after 31 days I might have had a few more than just 6 posts.

I am trying to find a perspective to make it look better than what it is. I mean there is no school that would really accept 6/31 as a pass mark, is there now. On no level is 5% acceptable. So how can I make 6 posts in 4 weeks a positive step to be coming a fully fledged writer?
It is slightly more than one a week so that has gotta count for something.

In a bid to make up for my slack efforts for the month I went through and published all the half posts that were left laying around. I think there were only three in total but again something is better than nothing.

Getting back to writing statistics.

Since I began this blog back in June 08 I have written (including this one) a total of 91 posts. 91 posts in 245 days. Just under 38%, a slight improvement for the month of January but still not a pass mark. Fingers crossed next month will be better!

I am, You are...

We are Australian.

For those of you not native to this great land where I reside, the above words may not sound all that familiar. For my fellow country men (and women) it will either remind you of the great band called the Seekers or a dodgy Telstra commercial that polluted our airwaves and possibly brought great shame to the above mentioned band.

Today is Australia Day. A day to celebrate all that is Australian. Beers, meat pies, big noisy utes, sports and possibly even sun burn.

In recent years there have been cries from some members of society to cease the celebrations as to them it is nothing more than invasion day. After all it was on this day some two hundred and thirty years ago that Captain Cook land in Botany Bay with the first settlers.

Given some of the atrocities that occurred in those first early years I can to some point understand why the Aboriginal community may not feel the need to remember and celebrate the day. However to me that was all in the past. I didn't personally do anything wrong and as far as I know I didn't even have any distant relatives that were involved. We can't change what has happened so let's just move on and be done with it.

So how does a true blue Aussie celebrate the birth of this great nation?

Of course it is each to their own, but to me it was all about fun and family. A nice quite day with all my family that live close by. We walked the children to the end of the road to see the ute parade, then back home for a BBQ by the pool.

For others it is about drinking as much as possible, thong throwing and possibly being a bit of a redneck. Which ever way it is I hope you enjoyed celebrating the birth of this great nation

The Result

Ok so last night sitting outside and writing while my darling daughter went to sleep didn't work so well. None the less though I am giving it a second shot.

So what made it such a failure last night? I hear you ask. Well it certainly wasn't a case of writers block. Oh no, the words were more than willing to flow, there was no worry there. It was all her!

For some reason she decided it was battle time. Apparently as she informed me i could put an end to it all by letting her play an electronic device for half hour or an hour. Naturally I did not accommodate such a request and things went down hill from there. Alternatively she said she was happy to go to sleep on the couch, a request that was also denied.

Eventually though after much yelling and screaming and carrying on she fell asleep, as did I. So after nearly twenty minutes tonight I find myself with a similiar situation on my hands tonight. Only tonight she hasn't provided me with a list of demands that would see her sleeping in an instant.

Perhaps on some level it is slowly starting to sink in. That mum means no. For the first few years of my children's life I went to great lengths to not use the word no around them. I didn't want the negative connotation rubbing off on them.

Now however it sometimes feels as if it is all I ever say. It is not that I am an unreasonable mother, who wants to spoil all their fun, they just seem to be forever wanting to do things that common sense says is wrong or not advisable.

The joys of being a parent I guess.

Anyway it turns out that while not perfect tonight was slightly more successful than last so that is something. Not only that but I did manage to get a few words out here and there so it is a win win really. Between to day and yesterday I have managed to string together just over 1000 words so i am heading back to words my incredibly easy to attain goal. I have even done some work on few photos so I feel very productive! Guess that means I can go and be wasteful for a while.

This and That

I am not sure exactly when I last wrote but I know it wasn't yesterday. Which is not a good thing.

I just went and checked it was 5, yes FIVE days ago. I should be ashamed of myself. Two days into the new year and I am unable to find the motivation, inclination or even dedication to try and achieve an easily attainable goal.

I mean all I had to do was write at least five hundred words a day. It didn't even have to make much sense. i was happy for any old ramble to come out. As long as these little fingers typed out five hundred words a day a feat of wonder would be achieved.

But nooooo. Apparently that was too hard and I find myself starting to fail before the first week has even passed. I just don't understand why that is. Why when writing is meant to be something that I do for myself I am unable to do so.

No one is making me write every day. No one has even said I want you to write every day. It is meant to be what I want so why can't I do it? Why am I so easily distracted?

One of the mysteries of the world perhaps?

Not likely, I have a feeling I know the answer but would love to hear what you think.Followers will know that I am a big believer in looking for the positive side. In the past i have even gone so far as to say I was an optimist. Currently though I feel more comfortable being aligned to that of a realist.

As my life is that of great fortune reality involves a lot of positivity. Though sometimes it is not always easy to see.

Take tonight for example. After a incredibly exciting day which saw a beautiful rainbow lorikeet called Summer joined our family, my eldest offspring decided to turn bedtime into a battle.

At seven, nearly eight power struggles are frequent in our daily life. Sometimes she wins and sometimes I do. Then there are times when neither of us score a victory and we are both left licking our wounds.

Getting her to sleep has always been an issue. Unless everyone else was going to sleep then she didn't want to. For the first few years I was happy to share her bed time. After a while though things changed and my sleeping habits could no longer accommodate such early hours.

My days had become filled with work and house duties needed to be attended to at night. This meant that my little angel needed to be going to sleep by herself without my full attention. Somewhere along the line I discovered that on the couch in front of the TV provided the quick and easy sleep solution that I had been searching for. Even at four she was light enough to easily carry to bed once she fell asleep. Anything was worth a painless bedtime.

Naturally though there came a time when sleeping on the couch became inconvenient. Not to mention the fact her burning desire to test her precise levels of luck. As with most children she yearned to know exactly where the boundaries lay. So with time even the easy way out could become a battle.

Anyway back to the story at hand.

Tonight as the battle ensued i had what I thought was a brilliant idea. Since her biggest gripe about going to sleep upstairs was that she was lonely i could sit outside the room and do some writing. After all the whole idea of the groovy little laptop was so I could write anywhere, anytime.

So this is where you find me now. Sitting on my quaint little balcony enjoying the cool breeze that is trying to blow.
Unfortunately though my brilliant plan does not seem to be going to plan. :(
She is still fighting sleep like it is the devil itself. Perhaps it is time for a change of tactics. Will let you know how it goes!

Something is better than nothing

That is my motto for the day and the basis of this post.

Right know I can't think as my head hurts. Ten minutes ago though it was full of ideas. they were rushing around bursting with action ready to spring into fruition. I wonder if that is my my head hurts now.... too many thoughts at once.

Today has been somewhat productive in terms of writing, I have managed to steal a few moments to get some words out here and there. They are of course not the greatest words in the world but at least it is a start.

• I have so far managed three separate blog posts which is probably enough for one day. There has to come a point when quality must begin to over ride quantity.

• In terms of housework the house is in a reasonable condition. I did wash the dishes this morning but naturally there are still some more to do.
  

• I also get a big tick for cooking one of the best dinners ever. In fact it was so good that I may actually devote a whole blog post to it but not just yet.

• I am slowly introducing a schedule to my day. To make it an enjoyable transition the first event is a fun one.

Remember
Something is always better than nothing, the thought does not always count and it is never to late to spring into action!

Dreams and Limitations

As always the start of a new year inspires me to start writing. I am hopeful that this year it will be something that I continue you with rather than lapse into sporadic sessions on a haphazard basis.

Since my dear parents were kind enough to give me a funky little laptop for Christmas I feel some what obliged to write more regularly than in the past. There is certainly no denying that on some levels my parents are incredibly supportive. Like everyone though, even they have their limitations.

My youngest sister, who is the baby of the family has recently moved interstate. We are what some would consider as a very close knit family so the move took quite a toll on my parents, particularly my mother.

At times you would think that my sister has fallen off the face of the earth never to be seen again. In reality of course she is a mere four hour plane trip away. Her boyfriend, who she moved to be with is a pilot so she naturally gets super cheap travel and has assured us she will return regularly. With the wonders of modern technology we are able to web cam and talk to her as if she was just down the road.

Her boyfriends mother, who I have never met sounds like a lovely lady. She has gone out of her way to make my sister feel welcome and part of the family. While I find this quite comforting my mother is highly distressed by the fact that my sister seems to be settling comfortably into her new life.

It all gets back to the perspective that you take. Don't get me wrong I miss my sister greatly, she was greatly but I find comfort in the fact that she has been taken in and is not all alone. I wish that my mother could see that as well, but the ugly green eyed monster seems to be getting in the way. Since she is my mother it is obviously not possible to point out the error of her ways so instead I will listen to her complaints in silence

Happy New Year!!!

So 2009 has arrived! Though I must say there was no bang to accompany it, at least not any near where I was. Rather than brave the crowds we opted for a quiet family event with close friends. Someone however forgot to mention the quiet aspect to the children who spent the night running around the garden screaming at monsters and ghosts.

The start of a New Years brings is often the time for resolutions and change. At least for most of the world. Personally I tend to avoid these like the plague. I love the notion of resolutions but the actual practice is something entirely different. Resolutions require dedication and commitment, both of which I am in short supply of. Not only that but the desire to change is also necessary and again I fall more than a little short.

Change, as I may have mentioned somewhere at some stage is not something I am really a big fan of. I know that change is important and it is in fact an integral part of life. Without change we become stale and stagnant. However, I really like the rut my life is in. I like knowing what is going to happen. The predictability and constants of my life provide me with a comforting stability that I don't really want to lose.

Having said that though there is a little voice inside my head which has been getting rather loud lately. No matter how hard I try it doesn't seem as if I can ignore the Wind of Change (WOC) for much longer. So it is with great reluctance that I publicly admit to the need for some personal change within my life.

In between the screams for adjustment the WOC has assured me that it is possible for things to happen slowly and with only baby steps at a time. In fact the WOC has had some very wise words that may actually be altering my deep rooted fears of change.

The first of these was that rather than use the word change I should think of it as growing or developing. This makes great sense as for the most part changes scare me, for some reason I have a negative perception of change. If I can alter my mindset as to what change is about then hopefully I will be able to begin to become more accepting of it all.

So I won't be rushing out with armfuls of resolutions, I will however take a few steps towards making a few modifications of my daily existence. I have seen numerous articles on how this is the worst time to actually begin such tasks so I will leave it a day or so before sharing with you what they will be.

If you are one of the many hundreds of thousands who have decided to make a change for the new year, I wish you all the very best with it. In fact to one and all I wish you all the very best for 2009.

Merry Christmas to one and all

Another Christmas has just about passed. Soon the New Year will be here and time to start again. It never ceases to amaze how so much anticipation is built into the event and then in a not much more than a heartbeat it has been and gone.

On the whole I love Christmas. I love the way that families and strangers alike can come together and forget about the rest of the world. I love the way that troubles can be put aside and differences shared.

What I don't love though is the way that sometimes it becomes all about the presents and doing what is perceived as the right thing. The question always beckons of course what is the right thing? Naturally it varies between individuals.

For some Christmas is all about giving. Giving the biggest and best present. Better than the year before and better than what anyone else will give. There are some that give just for the sake of giving. It is selfless, they ask for nothing in return. They are few and far between though. Even the majority of those that give to charities are doing so because they get the reward of feeling better about themselves.

Anyway this was not intended to be cynical look at the festive season as I really had a magical day. It was however also very long and perhaps it is tired eyes that are giving me a jaded perspective.

So as an exciting game of Guitar Hero World Tour is calling my name I wish you all the very best for the festive season. May it be full of Fairy Wishes and Butterfly Kisses.

Pretty Picture

This is a red collared lorikeet. They can often been seen around where I live and are often confused with the rainbow lorrikeet. It is only upon close inspection that it is possible to notice the difference between the two. The colours are similar yet different.

For me though the easiest way to know that this is a collared rather than a rainbow is that rainbow lorikeets do not live in the wild where I live.

As I write this post the date is actually 31st January. I have decided to update my blog and post all drafts. Apart from the photo and title this post was blank. I have no idea exactly what I planned to say when I first started this post well over a month, maybe even two, but since it was such a pretty photo I thought it should stay

Things to be done

Well it has been 4 days since I last sat to write. In my defense I think that every NaNoWriMo participant was entitled to at least 48 hours with out thinking about word counts, story lines and undeveloped characters. Unfortunately at the end of this time not only I but my youngest child and husband were struck by a terrible flu that kept us inactive for nearly 3 days.

Even the thought of raising my throbbing head from the comfort of my pillow was enough to bring tears to my eyes. Thankfully I am feeling somewhat more human now hence my brief flurry of activity. This is my second post in less than hour! (I could not find an appropriate segue to join the two)

So here is list of things I need to get done

1. Edit crap out of manuscript. Find title and create story masterpiece
2. Contact literary agent to source a publisher for said masterpiece
3. Send off copy to createspace who will print me one free copy of my NaNoWriMo effort
   

In between all of that I have decided to give myself some new daily writing targets. Since daily doesn't work so well for me I have broken it weekly.

1. No less than 3 Helium/Youk articles
   
2. No less than 5 Rambles/Fairy Garden posts
3. No less than 20 myLot posts

These should be attainable goals which I should be able to increase once production levels are well established.

Living the Dream

Well I survived NaNoWriMo and achieved a 50,300 word count. Which is not a bad effort I guess. However given that probably half of it will be cut and thrown into the electronic rubbish bin I still have a lot of work in front of me. (Sighs)

Back to the positive side of life though.
Writing every day (well nearly every day) was a fantastic feeling and without being too modest I think there were some incredibly moving parts. I managed to astound even myself on occasion. Naturally I realise there are some parts which need to be... shall we just say... tweaked a little more and I am fairly excited about the process.

I was talking to someone last weekend about what I had achieved. She noted how I seemed so passionate about what I was doing. I must say there could even have been a glint of jealousy in her eye. After she works long hours in the corporate banking industry so she spends most of her time worrying about other peoples money. Not exactly my idea of fun, but each to their own I guess.

For a brief moment while conversing with her I got a glimpse of what it could be like to be living the dream. Being a writer has always been my dream. During November I really was being a writer. Now I just need to keep it up! (easier said than done)

23079

That is the number of words that I have written of my NoMoNo(November Monthly Novel) Which since I am just past the half way mark in time is slightly under half for words. To me time has just become a series of numbers in relation to how many words may be written, still have to be written, and sometimes what I have just written.

Yesterday I managed to write 1600 words in a little under 2 hours. Impressive I thought. It was hand written the old fashioned way so I had guesstimated I had 1000 which I was still happy about as I was certain that I would expand on it in when I typed it out later.

I then spent a further one and a half hours at my dad's using the computer there (my mothers and I would rather not really be using it) and typing it all out. I was feeling super productive and had just about received enough gain to realise this would certainly be worth doing again. When the computer decided to have a temper tantrum and crash. Taking with it my work. I was surprised by how not devestated I was.

You see, since I began writing, I have almost lived in fear of that happening. I thought I had all the necessary precautions. I have auto save activated, a ups and I regularly post on the Internet to have a second copy. When my novel became too big to post I began emailing it to those who showed an interest in wanting to read it. I thought all bases were covered.

And if I hadn't have been using silly word pad on someone else's computer I would have been just fine.

But enough of that as my darling sister re-typed my hand written for me. While I cooked her dinner! So all's well that ends well.

Anyway I will leave you today with a photo I took at Knott's Crossing. One of my favourite places in or near Katherine.

I got it wrong!!

So as you may have guessed the novel writing venture has become somewhat of a challenge. At only 5700 words I am somewhat behind on the recommended 10002.

While I was having a little breather I had what some might call an epiphany. I have approached the story from the wrong angle. Part of me wants to jump in and start going on about the changes I want to make right now but then a much louder part says I should provide you with some more random thoughts from my jumbled mind. That way I could save the changes for when it is published.

So here's a few random thoughts

I feel very misunderstood. I constantly query if people will understand what I mean. I am aware of the fact from the moment a thought is put public it becomes subject to interpretation by others. Half the time I don't think I even understand what it is I am trying to say! So you can understand why I question if other people get me.

Generally speaking I feel that a lot of people miss the essence of what I am trying to communicate to them. This is almost always the case in the verbal form as I feel that many people around me fail to hear that alone listen to what I am saying. (ed's note most days are spent with young children).

That all aside I seem to have erected many barriers in my life which prevent me from endless opportunities. Being a woman of the new millennium I am empowered and strong. The only thing holding me back is myself and as of this very moment I have just let go.

No longer will I let fear stop me from living the life I have always dreamed about. I deserve the happy and fruitful life before me. I will share it with all that I can, however if others are not prepared to embrace the hidden joys of life, that is not my fault.

I really need to get on with my novel. I should find a name for it to, perhaps that will help it evolve into something tangible rather than just another wasted idea. I know this post will fall short of the recommended 500 words but at over 370 is good enough for now, I have characters to give life to

Great Ideas

In a bid to achieve my novel I have been thinking of ways in which I can stimulate a stream of words from my sometimes stifled brain. Here is what I have so far

1. Pick a word that will be a theme for your writing session. Find 7 synonyms for the word. Write a few sentances or even a paragraph and use each word in a different yet related context.
   
   
2. Concentrate on details such as
   

• sounds and noise
• sights
• feelings/emotions
• colours and textures
• touch
• smells and tastes
• experiences - eg smoke going up her nose as she inhales another drag of her nicotine filled death stick or the gentle breeze brushing through and shifting papers about on the table. An envelope slowly flutters to the ground

Ok so now that I have rewritten it, it does not seem as much as when I scribbled it down earlier, but at least it is a start I guess!

Prior Preparation

As of midnight tonight my life will change for ever (well at least for the next month anyway). I have decided to take on the NaNoWrMo challenge. Which basically means I plan to write at least 50,000 in the space of 30 days. Not just any 50,000 words either, they must string together and form a novel.

Since discovering this wonderful challenge a little over two weeks ago I have been able to think of nothing else. What I haven't been able to do though is decide exactly what type of novel I will write. Naturally the possibilities are endless.

These are my possibilities so far

1. Teenage romance - I figure this would be fairly easy as I had plenty of romance as a teenager to draw from
2. A fictional recount of my father's life - he has after all done some pretty cool things and since he was born in 1929 there is again plenty to draw from. Plus it would be nice to have a record of it all. Would certainly need to do some more research though
3. A daughter dealing with her father's death - this would be based on my imagination though as thankfully my dad is still alive (though quite frankly I do expect him to die any day but then that has been a constant thought for many years and it still hasn't happened)
4. Mother/Daughter relationship - probably not going to be all that positive, which means my mother would probably get upset if she ever read it.
5. Five or six random characters and the lives they lead. Somehow they would all interact with each other, with it all coming together in the end. I particularly like this idea as if I am looking like being short on words I can just add another couple of characters
6. Junior fantasy based fiction. On the upside I would only need very easy language on the downside would also need a very active imagination

So there you have it, less than six hours to kick off and I am still sitting here wondering what it is I will choose to write about. Perhaps some mindless PackRat will help me find the answer!