|Image from here|
You know those days where everything feels like it is turning to crap? Where no matter what is going on it is sure to go wrong in some shape or form, possible and most probably even both.
Those days where you just wished you had of stayed in bed, or at least in the house. Those days where it is best if you removed yourself from human interaction because undoubtedly people will drive you to distraction. Even when they don't mean to. Those days where patience has run out the door and every little thing will invariably rub you the wrong way. Most likely because you doubt there even is a right way.
Today feels like one of those days.
It shouldn't but it does. And shaking it just doesn't seem possible.
Today feels like a day where I could quite easily walk into a the doctor and walk out with a bunch of little pills in the hope they are the magic ticket to happiness. Of course I know that is not how it really works but still...
Right now it feels like the weight of the world is resting purely on my poor weak little shoulders. My back feeling like it is unable to withstand much more and likely to give way at any given moment. Leaving me crumpled up and squashed, not unlike a deflated ball kicked aside, no longer of worth to anyone.
All rather dramatic I know.
The worst part about this all is that there have been some rather exciting moments to the day.
Things like getting confirmation that when Samuel Johnson is in town I will get to meet him and have a little chat. I am beyond excited, and nervous, but at the end of the day the excitement will win.
Or at least I hope it will.
If you haven't already heard Sam is riding a unicycle 15000km around Australia in a bid to raise awareness for breast cancer as well as $1Million for the cause. You can donate here
Sunday will also see my darling little Miss Two become Miss Three. It is the first birthday where she really gets the whole birthday concept. Today we walked around the shops and she pointed out various things the birthday fairy will bring her. A concept which just melts my heart because after nearly 12 years of children's birthdays this is the first time I have heard of the birthday fairy. Who knows where she picked it up from but it is beyond cute.
Though it was at the shops that I could feel the unhappiness grow.
As much as I live in a capital city, it is a small capital city. In fact I am sure there are some country towns or even inner city suburbs, that possibly have more than what we do. Turns out in the whole shopping centre there is only one shoe shop that sells children's shoes. Naturally they didn't have a single solitary pair in the nearly birthday girl's size.
"Are you *$#%ing kidding me????" I somehow refrained from screeching at the shop assistant as I stormed out of the store. Go me huh?
I now have to ring said store to ask if she happened to come across a cute little hand knitted bunny rabbit that Miss Nearly Three insisted on taking to the shops that never quite made it home.
Again I refrained from my overwhelming desire to scream "Are you *$#%ing kidding me????" I am sure my mother of the year award will be here any moment.
The worst part about the whole losing the stupid toy (that my mother had made and only given us two days before hand I might add) is that in all my years of being a mother I have never allowed toys to come shopping. Never, ever, never.
My blood starts to boil at my idiotic resolve to bend the rules a little. Surely I should know by now that rules are there for a reason. (And contrary to whatever I may have said earlier, some rules are not meant to be broken) Live and learn I guess.
None of this is helped by the fact I am acutely aware of there being real problems that people, some of whom I love dearly, are suffering from. Not that it can be discussed here though. Something about lack of privacy and not my stories to tell...
On the upside though, because as a regular reader you would know I am all about the upside, did I mention I get to meet Samuel Johnson?
Seriously though there is a lot to the upside. Stuff like I managed to find some great birthday presents for the upcoming birthday girl. And by great I mean what I was looking for and on special. Win win right there peoples. I also scored some free movie tickets. Winning again.
Then there are just the everyday winning things like having a home, food, loving husband and all that jazz. Blessed is what I truly am and for that I am thankful. Just sometimes a whinge is what we all need. It is good for the soul. The weights all now feel lighter as my burdens have been shared. Thanks for listening.
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