Wednesday, March 21

Birthday Blues

So Friday is my thirty fourth birthday. I had hoped that by writing it in word form as opposed to a number it might not have seemed like such a big number, but there is no hiding from numbers. They are what they are. And thirty four is only one away from thirty five which is only five away from the big 4 - 0.

Which is kinda like the half way mark in life and one that I am not really ready for. There is still so much to do before I reach the half way mark.  Lucky I have six years to think about it.  Or rather six years to make it happen.

Only it is not the actual number of the birthday that has caused the blues.

Now before I go any further I feel I must put in a bit of a warning. What you are about to read may very well sound like something out of the mouth of a spoilt and ungrateful brat of a child. It is quite possibly going to sound whiny and whingy.

In our family birthdays a big. They are a true celebration of the birth of the person in question. They get to pretty much be treated like royalty. Whatever they want to do, eat, go what ever. The choice is theirs. The day is theirs. Get the picture?

Only thing is it feels like years since I have truly had that happen. The joys of being a mother I guess.  There are still children that need tending, mouths that need feeding and all the other joys that come with having children.  Sadly they don't stop just because it is your birthday.

It's not that the past few years have been terrible they just haven't been great either.  And when I think back to it the great birthday's are outweighed by the not so great ones.  There have been too many parties that people didn't come to.  Too many times when people were too busy to help me celebrate my special day.

When someone asks me what I want for my birthday what I really want to say is... ...I want to be waited on hand and foot. I want to be pampered and fussed over. My every need catered to before I even know it's a need. I want gorgeous food served to me and delicious drinks to sip on.

All without me actually having to ask for anything, because let's face it asking for something is not really a strong point of mine. Even on my birthday.

I was certain that this year it would be easy to make it all about me. Certain that this year people would be able to read my mind and just know that I wanted to be fussed over and treated like a princess.  To help things along I even sent out a few feelers to check we were all on the same page.

Of course that hope started to fade when people I needed to help make the day the way I wanted informed me they were not able to do as I needed. Trying to hold on to my last shards of optimism I looked for alternatives, only to come up empty handed and not really all that excited about having a birthday.  Again.

In so many ways this all feels so de ja vuish.  I have been here before.  Waiting, hoping.  Trying to trust that the birthday fairy will wave her wand in my direction.  Some times she does and sometimes she doesn't.  Only time will tell.

Fairy wishes & butterfly kisses


  1. My birthdays are just like this. Our family is big on birthdays, my in laws not so much but we still make an effort to send a card, or present for the kids because we believe birthdays are special. But mine always passes in a blur with barely a kiss on the cheek.

    It can be so demoralising when everyone around you gets fussed over, and when you make so much effort but keep being forgotten yourself. I hope you have a lovely birthday xx

    1. Thanks Natalie. It sure is tough sometimes when we go to so much trouble for everyone else and they always seem to overlook us. Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses to you, hopefully this year will be different for you

  2. I hear what you're saying Darl. I have always been huge on birthdays but after having been forgotten so many times for my own, the magic was lost and unfortunately it seems to have been lost for my children as well. I do my best to make their day special with cake, decorations, sweets and pressies but even attempts at parties are complete failures due to no one ever turning up. I now feel that there isn't any point to parties for them because no one will come to share their day, which is completely sad for them. In saying that though, I have made a promise to bring the magic back :) xxx

    1. Don't give up V, I am sure you will be able to bring the magic back. Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses lovely

  3. Today is my birthday and I am crying as I type this. All I ever wanted on my birthday is to be happy. But of course husband needs to go to work, and yes my two kids still need tending even if it's my day. My 4 year old did not like the lunch I made him and threw up his food twice. My 2 year old did not want to be fed at all. I'm at my wits end everyday, so why did I even hope that today will be any different? Thanks for your post, I just realized I'm not alone.

    1. Oh you poor thing. What an awful way to spend the day. I hope there is something wonderful for you just round the corner. Sending loads of fairy wishes and butterfly kisses to you


Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses to you, thanks for stopping by, it really means a lot, you taking the time so say hi. I try as much as I can to write a reply but if for some chance I don't get to it please know that I always read them.