Tuesday, March 13

Catching Up With Friends

Walking in she scanned the lawns.  There were a few people about but none of them where there to meet her.  She tried not to look out of place, despite feeling like it was glaringly obvious that she was.  She was not really one to attend social gatherings.  At least not anymore.

There was a time when she thought that she was the life of the party.  She shuddered now at the thought.  Now she was much more comfortable to hide in a corner.  Or better yet not venture out at all.  But here she was, pushing the limits of her comfort zone.  Two social outing in the one day.

She decided that the first thing to do was pay a trip to the loo.  Suddenly her bladder felt like it was about to burst.  She wasn't sure if it was nerves or the beer she had earlier, perhaps a bit of both.  Either way the toilet was first on her agenda.

Her old school friends weren't there yet.  Then again she was a little bit early.  Which made a nice change, generally she was the last to arrive for anything and everything.  Sometimes she was sure she lived in her own time zone.

As she washed her hands at the basin she took a minute to ponder her reflection staring back at her.  She knew she wasn't the same person from high school and she didn't expect her friends to be either.

Why did she keep calling them her friends?

It is not like they really spent that much time together in school (some twenty years earlier).  Once they graduated she lost touch with everyone.  Well at least she had lost touch with everyone till she discovered Facebook.  She was constantly amazed at the number of people from days gone by that were suddenly thrown back into her life thanks to the wonder of modern technology.

Mind you she was not completely sold on whether it really was great or not to have all these past people return to her life.  Some wounds don't heel.  Some things can't be forgotten even if they are forgiven.  Some things don't change.

She never really felt like she fitted in very well and as time passed the feeling had only grown.  Not that it really bothered her as she relished the idea of being different.  There were too many clones in the world, she didn't need to add to the pile.  People seemed too concerned with trying to be something they weren't.  She had often wondered why that was but was yet to discover the answer.  At this point she would just have to leave it as one of the mysteries of the world.

Now that her bladder was empty she decided it was time for another drink.  As she walked up to the bar she wondered what she what order to drink.  Rum was her preferred beverage of choice, always had been.  She figured it stemmed from her desire to be different.  Ladies weren't meant to drink rum.  Not that she was a lady per se, another choice she had made years ago.  Sure she was female but whether she was really feminine was another question altogether.

She rarely wore a dress or any of those pastel colours often associated with being woman.  Instead her wardrobe favoured practical and comfortable pants or shorts.  They seemed to make her hairy legs more inconspicuous.  The hairs didn't bother her at all (naturally which was why she had elected not to conform to societal norms) however sometimes she got a bit jack of all the stares and comments that could come with them.

She picked her beer up off the bar and had a sip.  She had decided not to go with rum.  It was probably best to stay with beer today.  She had had one earlier and was driving.  Plus she knew that rum would go down just a tad too easy, especially with all the jittery nerves that were racing through her.

As she turned away from the bar she did another quick scan of the crowd.  Nope.  Still no familiar faces.  It was just after three now, the agreed meeting time.  Perhaps everyone else had changed their minds?  Surely not?

Trying to relax she decided to sit outside under the shade of the beautiful palms.  There was a lovely  sea breeze blowing and most of the afternoon heat from the sun had faded.

She positioned herself near the entrance.  That way she could watch for their arrival.  Even though she had not seen these women in person for years Facebook had kept her up to date on everyone's appearance.  Like her, her friends appearance had not changed all that much over the years.  Just older with a few more wrinkles and a bit of extra weight.

Sitting down she felt more uncomfortable than before.  Her solitary figure standing out amongst the groups scattered around her.  People were laughing and chatting.  The wind carrying the merriment from one table to the next.  It really was a lovely way to spend a Saturday afternoon.  Though to her the thought of being at home curled up asleep next to Tulip was as equally appealing.

This was the first time in six months since she had been away from her new born.  While she was on some level enjoying the time to herself the feeling that a part of her was missing was slowly overwhelming any joy.

She checked her phone.  It was nearly twenty past three and no missed calls.  She would wait another five minutes and then go.  Chances were that Tulip would need feeding soon.  Just thinking about it made her breasts fill.  Then again it may just have been the beer.  She could vaguely recall that alcohol could have that effect.

Swigging down the last of her drink she took one last look around.  Still no recognisable faces.  Feeling slightly disappointed she resigned herself to the fact that no one else was coming.  They must have cancelled and forgotten to tell her.  Some things never change.

Joining in with Jess over at Diary of a SAHM