Time to be strong mum

"Ok time for mum to be strong, give you a kiss and get going now" the teacher said to me and Teapot as we sat on the mat trying to not be teardrops.

Try as we might though the tears were unavoidable. Her more so than me but there were certainly stain marks on my cheeks by the time I made it out to the car. 

After five years of constantly being by each other's sides it is only to be expected that we both greeted today with hesitation. Especially since recent years have seen me lose complete faith in the education system and the notion that we should send our children off to be institutionalised and the earliest possible moment.

The offending forgotten lunchbox

Upon arriving home to quickly pick up Lovely and start getting her uniform sorted and have a tour of the school I discovered that somehow I had neglected to put poor little Teapot's lunch box in her bag.

I kid you not.

I had one job. To make lunch and put it in their bags. Not hard really, yet somehow I managed to fail the final step. FFS.

Thankfully school is an incredibly short distance away and I had plenty of time to stealthily return to the school and slip it in before any one was any the wiser of my short comings.

Her teacher seems absolutely delightful. A softly spoken woman who took the time to call me at recess to let me know Teapot had settled in just fine. Such a kind and thoughtful gesture my eyes started to leak once again. Ridiculously sensitive and overly emotional I know. Talk about feeling guilty about all the horrid words I thought of her when she was telling me it was time to leave.

My mind is still boggling at the fact that we have suddenly stopped living on the road and are now buckling down to a life of normality. Moreso that normality involves me being at home alone. It's a weird feeling after fourteen years of always having a child by your side.

All that time to myself. Whatever will I do? What would you do?

On conquering Mount Everest. Or at least Stove Hill

When we were in Karratha, many moons ago, or at least so it seems, there was this hill. Though I liked to think of it as a mountain it probably was not really big enough to be considered as such. Given that Darwin is nothing but flat land though it was easy for me to think of it as a mountain despite it actually just being a hill. But already I am digressing.

Either way it was a rather large and some what intimidating pile of dirt and rocks.

This hill, according to the camera in my phone, was known as Stove Hill and was located right out the front of our caravan park. There was a dodgy looking dirt road that slowly wound it’s way up to the top but we never drove it. Mainly because when we pulled into Karratha we had issues with our clutch but also because right near the top it looked ridiculously steep and as awesome as Patty the Patrol might be we doubted his ability to conquer this particular pile of dirt and rocks.

Ok so this image doesn't really show just how steep Stove Hill is,
but it is an impressive view

On our second day in Karratha I decided to head out for a run. Having treated myself to new sneakers a month earlier it seemed only fitting that I get out and use them. As I lamented over where exactly my run would take me, Lovely made some flippant comment about doubting my ability to run to the top of Stove Hill. 

Initially I agreed with her because looking up at it from the ground it looked ridiculously steep. 

The more I thought about it however, the more I started to think that me getting to the top wasn’t so unachievable after all. It was most definitely worth a try at the very least. Especially since my said new sneakers were purchased for tail running as much as road racing.

So off I went.

The first half of the run was rather enjoyable and I felt all kinds of awesome. Striding out on the rocky trail my minds eye had me as a hardcore trail runner that could tackle anything in her path.

Slightly after the halfway mark though things took a turn for the worse. The steepness that I had seen from the ground suddenly became more than apparent. My running, which was quite possibly better described as a slow jog, slowed even further. Actually it slowed so much it essentially became a walk, but on I went.

By this stage my determination had well and truly set in. I would not be beaten by a pile of dirt and rocks. Regardless of how big or steep they may actually be.

As a mother I want my girls to be proud of me. I want to possess certain qualities that they will one day aspire to also possess. You know things like strength and determination. It was with this in mind that I kept on keeping on.

A little further on up the hill even walking became more of a challenge. As much as my flash new sneakers were meant for trail running they were not providing me with a whole lot of grip on the gravelly path that was meant to lead me to the top of the hill. In order to keep going I had to crouch down, for a while I was down so low I was pretty much crawling.

Come hell or high water though I was getting to the top of that bloody hill.

About ten metres from the top the path started to turn in a direction that no longer lead to my desired destination. Standing there, so close, and yet so far, to where I wanted to be I couldn’t just turn around and head for home. 

Despite my allotted time being nearly up and me huffing and puffing for breath like an allergy suffer in the middle of a field of flowers I refused to just walk away. If the path didn’t want to lead me to where I wanted to go then I would just forge ahead and create my own path.

Right there and then on top of that pile of rocks and dirt that half an hour ago had seemed so insurmountable, I suddenly felt more empowered than I ever had in my whole life.

Life is all about standing up to the challenges before and charging on through with all the gusto we can muster. Which was exactly what I intended to do to reach the top. I was not going home a quitter.

With a bounce in my step I started to make my way over the boulders and spinifex balls that were before me. My head filled with all kinds of crazy notions about me paving the way and leading the pack. Because of my efforts I would become an inspirational leader. Even if it were only to my offspring.

Me, feeling like I was standing
on top of the world

When at last I reached the summit one could have been mistaken for thinking I had conquered Mount Everest the grin on my face was so wide. I stood there at the top of the hill we thought could not be climbed revelling in all my glory.

I had done it.

The journey down was considerably easier than the way up on account of having the gravitational forces on my side. Well that and I was on a high at having actually made it to the top in one piece. Words can not adequately describe how good it felt to have accomplished something that I had set out to do. It is somewhat of a rarity in my life.

As I headed back home I was filled with excitement at being able to tell the girls what I had achieved. Words for a blog post on determination and hard work filled my head and I longed for a few moments at the keyboard to tap it all out. It felt like a new chapter in my life had begun, one where I could tackle anything I set my mind to.

On hold

Well today sees #ouradventureofalifetime put on hold. At least temporarily.

Those avid readers who never miss a post, would have read yesterday about the woes of poor old Patty. His clutch has worn out and needs to be replaced. Along with some bushing and rings though they don’t cost anywhere near as much as the clutch so are all a bit irrelevant.

As it happens the company that Mr Awesome worked for back in Darwin has a branch here in Karratha. And by the miracles of life are in desperate need of a worker over the next few weeks.

See where this is all going?

So as of Monday, for the next six weeks Mr A will be once again gainfully employed. The van park has come to the party and given a slightly cheaper weekly price than the one yesterday but it is still at a higher rate than what we have already paid. Can’t win them all I suppose.

We probably won’t actually be able to save a whole heap of money by staying and working for a while. Unless of course I went and offered my services to the local topless bar but I doubt there are few people interested in looking at my saggy fed three children boobies. Or perhaps they are but my slightly flabby muffin top rolls could prove to be too much of a distraction. 

By having Mr A work for a bit we will however be able to make the leave pay last a little longer. Which is all kinds of good. At the moment Mr A’s leave was due to finish the beginning of November. It will now be put on hold while he works and kick back in when we leave meaning we will get paid till nearly the end of December.

The only real downside to it all is that there is not a lot to actually do in Karratha. And by not a lot I guess I actually mean nothing. Or at least nothing that I know of. Which I guess means the girls will have plenty of time to study and learn. Much to their disappointment of course.

On the whole though I do feel this will be a good thing. It will also give me a chance to catch up on sharing some of my tales with you. Today is day number 81 and I am only as far as writing about day 29 on the blog. I have a few rough notes for the days in-between and far too many blank pages.

Sigh.

The other upside to being put for a bit is that I will have the chance to get my running back on track. Which could possibly mean said flabby excess muffin top rolls may disappear. It could also just mean that I go back to feeling all kinds of smug about being able to call myself a runner. Either way it will justify the new runners I purchased when I was in Darwin the other month. 

Being put for a bit will also give me a chance to get the follow up blood tests that McDreamy requested I get done a month after seeing him. Though just quietly I am a tad reluctant to do so incase they come with bad news. I like having the whole blood clot thing behind me and dread the thought of being on thinners for the rest of my life. Sensible Sally though keeps saying I really should JFDI.

Double sigh.

For now though I will continue to revelling in holiday mode, at least till Monday.

Perspective.

With the new year well and truly here now, most people have got their inspirational and motivational post for the year out. You know the one where they go on about all the wonderful things that they hope to accomplish and all that they hope to be the whole year through and all that blah blah blah?

Of course we all know by now that I am not like most people. In fact I wonder if most people really are like most people? You know on account of all the differences that we all have, but already I am getting off track.

Come the first of January I tried to be like most people and sat down to write a post about the wonders of the new year and all that it would hold. Really all I did was welcome 2014 and whinge about not having enough money or being able to get a dream job. Go me.

"The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity; the optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty." Perspective defines how you see the world, and the decisions you make in response to situations which may arise.
Image found here

I know at the end of the post I hinted about maybe having the word perspective as my word of the year. An idea that I have toyed with for nearly a week now. So much so that I have even named this post (well at least tentatively while I try and get it written) with the notion of it being about perspective.

Yet something doesn't quite feel right about it. And by something I mean, actually I have no idea exactly what I mean. Which quite frankly is driving me bonkers because for the most part I am certain I am on to something (provided of course I work out what that something is)

Screen shot taken from here

Now I know that there are few sureties in this crazy old world of ours but one thing that is relatively common is the fact that we all have varying perspectives. That is not to say similar perspectives aren't shared amongst people, because they are, but to me it is the differences that need greater consideration, acknowledgement and acceptance. Which I think for me is what I want to focus on this year.

The way other people look at the world at large. Their perspective. The way they see things differently from myself. While it might just be some fleeting half brained idea, the notion that there is much to be learned from our differences keeps bouncing around my pretty little head.

My list of faults is long and tedious. I am a work in progress. As much as I am full of awesome (particularly in my own lunch box) there are some fundamental changes to my being that need to be made I want make. Things like my lack of motivation or laziness, the line between the two is thin and blurred. I need to find new ways to look at things to encourage myself to just get them done. And by things in this instance I mean boring household tasks that often feel like they suck the life force out of me.

Post by Kate Says Stuff.

To me this is the essence of perspective and why being able to see the perspective of others has it's advantages.

In this case I can see both perspectives. Yes I too show my family I love them with cuddles and time spent together rather than doing the laundry. However there is no denying that the laundry will always need doing. In fact at the end of each and every day there will be laundry patiently waiting to be seen to.

So when I have no choice but to get on with tackling Mount Washmore or Mount Foldmenow, I gently remind myself that I will do so with a happy heart and not begrudgingly because I love my family and they love clean clothes. Well I assume they do, I know I do.

Chores, whether we like it or not must be done. We expect our children to just get on with them without constant complaining and I am starting to realise that I must as well. Especially if I am going to assign myself to the whole be who you want your children to be ideology. At the end of the day it all boils down to how you look at things and your perspective.

Originally this post was called Perspective - Don't only think of yours. I had intended (hoped?) that it would be a post about the beauty of putting yourself in someone else's shoes, looking through their eyes and trying to see things from their perspective. By doing so I believe that you will open yourself up to a world of new possibilities that you may not have been able to see before. Some of which will give you a better understanding of those around you. Obviously though that is not quite how it turned out.

Mind you I am just glad this is now out, it was kinda blocking me in many ways. I am sure though that there will be another post or two about the importance of perspective for me this year.

Joining in with IBOT with Essentially Jess

Welcome 2014

Yep, that's right 2014 is here as planned and scheduled. 

image from here

What is not here (not surprisingly mind you) is a plan or schedule for me to hold in my hand as I enter the new year slightly unprepared and unsure of how to reach my desired destination.

Come July this year we are supposed to be embarking on the adventure of a life time. We are packing up, hitting the road and exploring this great nation in which we live. All sounds very surreal and exciting really. I skipped through most of 2013 with the belief if I just acted as if we had it all under control then the trip would just manifest itself somehow.

With our departure date now a mere six months away I go into a little flurry of panic wondering if that really will be the case. There is so much we wanted to do before we left. So much we thought we needed to do before we could leave. So much that we just haven't even really tried to make happen because it is just too overwhelming and we don't know how to start.

In order to rent out The Shoebox it probably needs a new kitchen and bathroom. A few running repairs on cupboard doors in the bedrooms and new flooring probably wouldn't go astray either. Oh and then there is the minor detail of what we will live in while we are on the road. Is it really feasible to think  a standard cheap as chips tent from K Mart is adequate housing for twelve months?

It's all about the money though. 

Or rather the lack of.

At this point we have maybe just enough to do the absolute bare essentials to the house or get the absolute bare essentials to travel with.

I need to get a job. One that involves writing from home would be beyond perfect. I would happily take anything that involved a computer and working from home though. That's not too much to ask is it? And that's all I have to do isn't it?

Alas, if only it were all that simple.

Much like last year, and unlike almost every other blogger I have come across, I enter this year without a word or phrase to guide me through. My Happiness Jar managed to only accumulate forty two entries. Which when you divide between the five of us means it didn't last for very long. Since we still have all the post it notes we will try again this year. 

Every one was a fan of the idea, it's just was are so lackadaisical about most things they often tend so just slide on by the wayside. All of which is amplified by my ability to make excuses for absolutely every thing.

However, 

It never is as far as I am concerned because for all my faults and shortcomings that I may internally beat myself up with there is but one thing that I know and hold onto at all times with both my hands. 

And that my friends is,

So much so I didn't even need to create the above images because I did so way back in November 2012 for this post. I am now trying not to obsess over the fact how much in life has not changed since then, for of course there is so much that has. 

Right now as I type there is no washing on the couch. There are no overflowing baskets of washing waiting to be washed, folded or put away. There is one load sitting scrunched up in the dryer waiting for me to iron and put away and there is a folded basket that also needs to just be placed in the appropriate cupboards. 

There are also cupboards that are currently holding some ironed garments and just between you and me it is a kind of nice feeling. And yes I can't believe I really just said that. Since I am the proud wonder of a rather cool iron I feel obliged to take it for a spin every now and then.

It's all about perspective. Which if I was going to choose a word for 2014 I think that is the one that I would go with. But by now that is a whole other post.

Monday Mention. Jimmy's Walk

Long term regular readers will probably recall the flurry of excitement back in April when all round legend Samuel Johnson came to town. 

For those of you who may of missed it Sam is currently unicycling his way around this great brown land to raise both funds and awareness for breast cancer. To date Sam has covered just over 10,000km and raised some $800,000.

From following Sam's journey I happened to come across another rather awesome and inspiring young man. 

Jimmy. 

Photo from Jimmy's Walk for Cancer Facebook page
He is celebrating just passing the 6000km mark

Jimmy is a twenty year old South Australian, currently on a 18,000km trek around Australia to raise funds for the Brainchild Foundation. He is a third of his way round the nation and will soon be heading my way.

Now while Jimmy may not be a famous actor that I may or may not have been crushing on for a number of years I still find the thought of being able to have a chat with him a bit exciting. 

You see it is not everyone that can take a whole year out of their life to go for a walk to raise awareness for a cause. In fact I am pretty certain that it takes a rather special kind of person to not just think of such a quest but to actually go out and make it happen makes them extra special. 

Looking through the Jimmy's Facebook Page for photos for this post and it is confirmed that Jimmy is all kinds of special. A photo that says 

"You don't need a reason to help people".

Please take the time to drop by Jimmy's Facebook page and say hi.