Tuesday, April 24

Somethings never change and some stay the same

I can't believe how much time I seem to spend thinking the same thing over and over.  Thinking yeah that is a great idea! Yeah! I should do that for sure! Life would be great if I did things like that! Full of gusto and energy in thought.  Only for some reason I never seem to actually make it happen.

Source

My entire life feels like it is a constant struggle to make something happen. At times I have no idea what exactly it is that is meant to be happening I am just sure that something should. After all that is what life is about isn't it? Things happening all the time? I mean if things didn't happen then life would be rather drull to say the least. (For the spellos out there I meant to have the letter 'r', I am hoping to make a new word, drull, it means, really, really dull...drull...help me get it out there :)

Right now I should be cleaning the house but I just can't face it. I hate housework and cleaning and all that domesticated crap more than anything you could possibly think of. Besides, how would I ever find time to write if I was forever doing housework? Oh wait...that's right apart from right now I haven't...(gets up to answer phone...loses trail of thought)

Anyway as I think I was saying right now sitting in front of my lovely iMac listening to some groovy tunes is a much preferred option to washing distugstingly dirty dishes (cringes as she changes song from heavy metal pollution...nearly 10 mins later...

Is it any wonder that I never seem to make anything happen? Sure plenty of stuff happens...but how much happened because I chose it to? Most of the stuff that happens to me is because I let it. Very little at times seems to happen because it was something I actively set out to do.

Let me try and give you an example..

Great. Nice time for my mind to pull a blank. I got nothing. This writing gig is not all that it is cracked up to be. I guess I will come back to that later...

For most of my life, or at least for as much of it as I can remember, I have been under the misguided impression that I am a talented writer. Somewhere deep within me I just know that I havewords of such wisdom that the world will look at me in awe...well may not awe but at least admiration or something cool like that.

The flaw with this grand notion of mine is that to be a writer I must actively write. And actively write is not just once every three or four times a month, actively write is at least five times a week. How else will these supposed pearls of wisdom be shared amongst the masses if I don't make the time to write? What better platform to spring myself to stardom from than blogging?

Only once again my plans are inherently flawed. My misconceptions and self created delusion set me up for the feeling of failure. You see I am of the opinion that I should just be able to get it right first time. Somehow my mind has twisted the facts to think that it is without error. In my mind I am a blogging superstar, one that is oblivious to the fact no one else knows that.

So when, after the first few posts and I have not reached a million hits in under a few hours, I get very disheartened and question all that I do. I am starting to think that I need to just bang my head against a wall a few times while someone stands there yelling “you just have to write you bimbo. Write and write and write.”

Over the years I have started so many blogs but for one reason or another they have never felt right. After much consideration and much doubt, I think I am going to stick with A Parenting Life, I think, oh gosh I don't know.....
Lately I have been thinking about creating a new blog called Fairy Wishes and Butterfly Kisses (another catch cry I am trying to create and get used by the wider community hopefully you might have already heard of it before now...)

Anyway I have managed to keep your attention for just over 720 words now and I don't really want to push my luck to much further. Not just with you as a reader but also myself in the real world. My house is in dire need of attention and darling hubs has been very understanding but as I am discovering everyone has limits and sometimes they do not need stretching, Which can be a contentious issue as modern ideology is often all about going beyond yourself but more on that at another time I think.

If you are still reading this, and boy I hope you are, please do me a favour and have a good look around. Click a few links, leave a comment, share a thought, whatever, I just like knowing people have stopped by.


Joining in with my fellow IBOTers for 

20 comments:

  1. Good morning. Thanks for sharing. I found you through IBOT. Looking forward to having a look around your blog Lisa

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  2. Aww Rhi! Love your random ramblings as you sound so much like me. And I'm glad I'm not the only one :) Fairy Wishes & butterfly kisses to you too xox

    Ai @ Sakura Haruka

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    1. Thanks lovely. I actually had a blog called random ramblings for a while but then decided it was not unique enough

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  3. It's a constant juggle, this life caper. I think your writing is great. Never drull!

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  4. I sometimes feel exactly the same but then I remind myself why I blog, for my children and me. Anyway, I love your blog and can't believe I wasn't already following. I am now!

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    1. Awesome on the following always makes my day when I get a new follower. The main reason I blog is to get practice writing and to launch my inevitable (but incredibly slow) writing career

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  5. You are a talented writer. I envy your ability to put words together. It's normal to feel disheartened sometimes. Don't give up. I think a lot of the mega successful blog have a lot to do with marketing etc as well as a natural talent. Rachel x

    For #teamIBOT

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  6. I love your blog too Rhi! and I think you really are a talented writer... I also really love how much support you have given me and other bloggers...you are a wonderful lady!! Oh...I share your loathing of house work too...that's why I'm here and not doing my own dishes :)!

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    1. Lol about the dishes. Wanna come do mine as well?
      Thank you for your kind words and support as well xx

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  7. SNAP!!!! I think about things over and over and over again... once it is in my head.. I need it, I have to do it, more importantly I will go out and buy it.. so i get dressed and ready to go out and then a lil alarm will ring in my head.. no maybe I shouldnt...

    I really want a sewing machine.. I want to learn to sew.. I want to sew lil things for my lil squirts.... I REALLY WANT ONE!!! But I can't have one until our credit card is paid off.. and I keep putting things on the credit card *like food shopping*... argh!! the dilema.. perhaps I should stop writing now...

    Love the post!!!

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    1. Sewing is such a great idea (at least in theory). I got mine a few years ago but don't really use it as much as I made out I would!
      Thanks for stopping by x

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  8. It's a tough gig. Everyone has potential. But not everyone Gets discovere and I think that is the really tricky bit, and makes you wonder what on earth you are done wrong.
    Maybe you need to write yourself some goals and work out what you want to achieve, and how you are going to get there, and then just do it.

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    1. Yes the key is in your last few words. Just do it!

      I guess what gets me most with this post is the relevance some 12 months after it was written

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  9. He He - I totally get this - well, not on the writing part, but on the insane hatred of housework. Housework and cleaning makes my life drull!!

    Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses xx

    #teamIBOT

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  10. Hi Rhianna, this post totally touched a chord in me. I don't know how many times I've dreamed that I would become a crafter and fulfill my all-time wish of having a craft career but most of the time, I just keep procrastinating and come up with all kinds of reasons as to why I should push it till the next time round or that I'm not good enough or that it's not the right time blah blah. Seriously, I should just get down to doing it. For if you don't try, you'll never know and all you end up with is regret. You are an awesome writer, a fabulous blogger so keep up the great work and may your dream come true one day soon!

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  11. You know I've got your back! Don't give up, and neither will I. We'll get there, one post at a time. Art takes practice, not just talent.

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  12. I too am a writing superstar that no one has discovered! I'm just not good at putting myself out there, apart from joining a few linkings and posting on FB. Self promotion is the key! Oh and maybe a bit of consistent writing ;P

    Hang in there & make it happen xx

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Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses to you, thanks for stopping by, it really means a lot, you taking the time so say hi. I try as much as I can to write a reply but if for some chance I don't get to it please know that I always read them.