Thursday, March 15

Thankful Thursday - Hope and Inspiration

Rayisa, as always was up early. Early morning was her favourite time of the day. Always had been. There was something magical about the final minutes before the sun rose into the sky and gave light to the new day. It seemed to bring with it total peace and a hope that everything would be ok. She also liked the fact that there was no one else around to disturb her. The silence and solitude of the time meant it was a perfect opportunity for her to connect to the fairy realm.

Since Tulip had been born though she had learnt to share her precious morning time. Not that she minded though. Tulip's smiling cherub face was a pleasure to see at any time of the day. She probably enjoyed the morning fairy time as much as what Rayisa did.

This morning Rayisa managed to get up nearly an hour before anyone else. Which she was a bit pleased about. She knew that today was going to be a long one and the morning meditation time would give her the stamina she needed to get through it. Lately all the days seemed to require extra strength.

Her fathered had been sick for as long as she could remember. It was only in the last few years though that it had really begun to take it's toll on his body. He had been diagnosed with a terminal illness just as Rayisa finished highschool. She had cried for days as it turned her whole world upside down. After all much of her world seemed to revolve around her father at the time, she couldn't imagine life without him.

As it turned out the doctor said that his disease would not kill him for at least ten years and it would only be the last few that he would suffer through. Those ten years had been and gone, however the man she saw now was one that was barely existing. Slowly her worst fears were being realised as the strong mobile mans she once saw was becoming a frail and decrepit shell of a man that had begun to wobble as he walked. It broke her heart to helplessly stand by watching.

Grayson was much older than most of her peer's fathers. She had never noticed this though until she was in her late teens. Actually it wasn't until he first began to get sick that it really sank in just how old her father was. Grayson was a good twenty years older than Rayisa's mother and most of her friends parents.

Despite having led a hard life and always working in the sun he had maintained his youthful good looks. Grayson had always said that it was having such a young wife and familiy that kept him going. Rayisa was the eldest of three children, the youngest being born when Rayisa was nearly twelve. Rayisa knew that the credit for his looks was really due to his connection to the fairy realm. The fairies would never use their power to change people but believing in them and living a life true to their beliefs provided people with an inner peacefulness that seemed to deter the aging process.

Today I am thankful I found these words.

I wrote them many years ago, well four, to some that is many.  When you write a novel, or at least the better part of one, in one short month, four years can seem like many.

For the last few months, I have been under the impression I had lost my only real attempt to make it as a writer.  Over fifty thousand words.  Words that I slaved over.  Some nights struggled to find but find them I did.  All lost.  Despite having multiple copies they all seemed to disappear of the years.  Another reason why four years feels like many.

With the realization that the last copy was not where I thought it was I lost all belief that I could ever actually make it as a writer.  Of course the only thing stopping me from being a writer is myself and the fact I don't take enough time to actually write.

Anyway you can only imagine the excitement I felt today when I remembered starting a LiveJournal account with the notion it would house my novel.  I even called it, A Novel in the Making.  This excitement doubled when I not only remembered my username and password but I logged on to find I could actually access it all.  Of course after the first week I stopped posting there, but that is only a minor detail.  

At least I have something.  I have more than what I had yesterday and hopefully by the end of the week I will have more than I have today.  Finding this, plus a few extra posts that I will probably publish over the next few days has given me the inspiration to try again.  I once again feel connected to my book.  My characters are once again feeling familiar and the urge to write is overwhelming.

For that I am more than thankful.

Joining in with Kate for her