I was young. I was on my own. I didn't know any better. Did I mention I was young? At the time I didn't think I was. I thought I had sailed the seven seas if you will. The only thing left was for me to settle down and have children. Looking back I cringe. I couldn't have been more wrong.
Back then the Internet wasn't like it is now. So easily accessible. Computers were expensive and far beyond my budget. Not that I cared. After all the silly Internet was one of the reasons I was experiencing life as a young single mum. As far as I was concerned I was better off without.
Desperate to avoid stereotypes and show to the world I could make it on my own without a man I worked and studied in the hope to still one day land my dream job. Despite still not actually knowing what that might entail. All I wanted was power and prestige.
Of course this meant that my young child needed to be placed in day care. And of a night we were both tired and grumpy. As much as I wanted to sit and play with my little darling. I needed her to sleep. She needed to sleep. Did I mention I was desperate?
Thinking back now I can't really remember for how long I pursued it but it was more than one night. And it was on more than one occasion. I remember feeling at my wits end. I could have pulled my hair out. Why wouldn't she just lay down and go to sleep?
Oh my how she would scream.
When she learnt how to climb out the cot, I gave in. I was too worried she would hurt herself climbing out. I began looking for the silver lining that would come with laying with her each night to get to sleep.
Nearly ten years later I am still battling at bed times with her.
Every now and then we go through a phase where there are no battles.
Oh how I love those times.
Mind you I spend so long trying to work out what went right so it could be replicated at a later date that I don't really get to enjoy those times. It all seems hit and miss. I am yet to crack the rhyme or reason behind it all.
I know that this is a tough age. I know that she wants to test the water and push the boundaries. I know this is just a phase and it too shall pass. That doesn't make it any less suckier to deal with though.
On the bright side. Because I like to think there is always a bright side to every situation. At least so far the other two prefer not to battle at bedtime.
What is bedtime like at your house? Do you battle or do you have sleeping wonders?