Thursday, May 23

The post that was supposed to be "On Being A Crier" but turned out to be a ramble about Lovely's schooling

Sitting here, warm tears gently rolling down my cheeks, a slight sniffle stuck in my nose, there is no denying that I am a crier. A big fat sucky la-la one at that.

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I have just gotten off the phone with the Assistant Principal from Lovely's school. 

My head hurts and my nose is now snuffy more than sniffy and the tears have all but gone. Leaving behind red puffy eyes that look like they could do with a week of sleep. Or perhaps that is given away by the black bags underneath them. Either way I feel both drained and relieved. 

Hopefully the right thing has been done.

Lovely (formerly Miss 12 because I couldn't think of anything else, until it suddenly dawned on me that Lovely might work, Miss 3 is now Teapot and Miss 6 is still TBC but more on that later) started a new school this year. Middle School if you will. Which is years 7-9. The final years 10-12 are completed at another school which I think is High School but who really knows and right now who really cares? It is hard enough coming to terms with the fact she is no longer in Primary School (Trans-6) But I am digressing.

Last night Lovely told me how she felt about a particular teacher. Without going into all the details now it was not exactly a glowing report. I assured her that today I would call the school and discuss some of what she had brought up, but she needed to remember that it was not always possible to get exactly what you want.

At that stage what she wanted was to change schools or at the very least never have to go to this particular's teacher's classes ever again. Both not the most reasonable of requests given there is a part of me that questions how much the teacher really is at fault.

Don't get me wrong I am not dismissing her claims, but she is a child and she is prone to exaggeration. So all that is said must be taken with a grain of salt, at least till other information is available.

Anyways I am actually quite concerned about her learning. Or rather lack there of. 

Without too much mother bias coming into play, I do believe she is quite a bright child. Sadly though, and perhaps with too much mother honesty she is also incredibly lazy and getting her to do the bare minimum somedays is a mammoth task. 

As someone that often struggles with motivation and procrastination in epic proportions I understand her desire to take the easy way out. Who doesn't want the easy way out? 

As a mother though I know that the easy way out is not always the best option. I know that sometimes hard work and determination are what is needed to get you through. As is doing things you may not necessarily want to or understand why you need to.

I never applied all of myself to my learning and with hindsight I wish I had of. Sure I got good grades but if I had of worked just a little bit harder I could have gotten great grades. At this point Lovely isn't even bring in the good grades.

Naturally I want the most for my girl in life, what mother doesn't? Only I know it does not come down to only me. They need to follow instructions and try their best, give it their all and all that. And that is where the biggest problems are here.

How do you create the love of learning? Or even an interest in learning?

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  1. Great post Rhi. I have a complacent one too - in his case he thinks he's too smart and therefore must only do the bare minimum. He is smart agreed but the application very much lacking. What I have found to have worked is firstly the knowledge that school and home tie in - the fact that he knows there is constant communication between his teacher and I keeps him in check.And my other strategy is incentivised learning aka bribery - as manipulative as it sounds, it does work ;)
    On a lighter note, I am hearing everything you say - hope that Ms.Lovely will come around xxx

    1. yes constant communication is the key. Lovely had asked me to step back for a bit so I gave her a chance but I am thinking her time is up and she needs to hop to it quick smart!

  2. I love your transparency. It's hard to always be strong for our kids. I guess in the end they'll learn the relationship between the amount of work they put in and the outcome. I hope you can work through the issues Lovely is having with her teacher. Its so hard when they get dodgey teachers. My son had one once and it did so much damage to his confidence. We were lucky she was only a substitute though. Will be thinking of you.

    1. Thank you for you kind words lovely, all seems to be ok for the moment so let's just hope that is the way it stays

  3. Good on you for making the call rather than shrugging it off. Sounds like a tricky situation. All the best x

    1. Hit post before I was done! Just wanted to say that as someone who loved school and learning, I have no tips to offer in the last bit. Except perhaps to find that ONE thing, ONE subject or topic that engages like nothing else. At this stage of life though, it's a big ask. x

    2. Yes I know the magic of one thing, if only I knew what that one thing was though! Lately it looks like all she is interested in is nail designs!

  4. I had a bit of a run in with a teacher once when I was 12. I was at fault, but so was he. My Mum ended up just asking for me to switch classes, and it ended up being the best and easiest solution. My niece was very unmotivated, but she has found her one thing, drama,(like Emily mentioned above) and it has made the world of difference. I also think sometimes if a kid can tell a teacher doesn't like them, or of they don't like a teacher, they will never work as well for them, as they would for someone they do like. Hope everything works out xxx

    1. I asked the school to look into it and they had a chat to her and she now has a new teacher. Everyone is happy and it was so simple. Hope all is well that ends well.

  5. Sometimes it is the teacher, but most times it's the dynamic of a particular class. Either way, listening to your kid and then following it up at school is the best option, which you've done.
    Fostering a love of learning? I can't speak from personal experience because my kids are so young. But from professional experience, the kids who do best are often those who have a parent who is engaged in the school community and who values education. Reading, talking/evaluating, creating at home. These things go a very long way. Visiting today for the DPBC - a bit late ;o)


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