Friday, July 20

On friends and coffee

So there is this girl right.
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Well actually she is a woman, cos she is like a grown up.  Actually she is not just like a grown up she is a grown up.

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You know married with kids and all that.  That's what being a grown up is all about isn't?

Anyway as a grown up she often felt very lonely.  It was a funny kind of lonely though.  One that was hard to explain.  It was almost like she felt like she didn't have any friends.  Only she knew that she was very blessed to have some incredibly wonderful people in her life.  A tricky situation to be in to say the least.

The thing was she wanted more.  She couldn't help but feel that there was still room for at least one more in her inner circle.  Someone who would be there in many years to come having sailed the journey of life not necessarily in the same boat but certainly a similar one and most definitely at times on the same waters.

Adding to her frustration on the matter was the fact that she even had a particular person in mind.  A like minded soul, yet full of enough differences to create an exciting and learning experience for both parties.  In so many ways she was certain that they had been drawn together for this very reason but something seemed to be holding them back.

Something seemed to be preventing the relationship from blossoming and reaching it's full potential.  Yet she couldn't quite put her finger on it.  Nor could she work out how to get around it.  Why would the universe put her so close to someone yet leave such a big distance as well?

Throughout her whole life people seemed to just drift in and out of her life.  It was like she was just one of those 'season' friends sent only for a reason and once that reason was done with all parties moved on.  Normally it didn't bother her.  She had adjusted quite easily really.  It meant that she never had to get too close to anyone which in many ways she loved.  After all maintaining friendships is sometimes easier said than done.

It was only in recent years that had started to feel the need for more permanency amongst her circle of friends.  Sure thanks to the likes of Facebook she was able to stay in touch with her high school besties but as for seeing them in person?  Another story altogether.

They had all gone on to lead exciting lives, lived many many miles away.  Not exactly conducive to coffee catch ups.  That's what grown up friends were supposed to do wasn't it?

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Catch up for coffee.  Or a glass of wine here and there.

She wouldn't really know, she had never had one of those friends before.

Flogging my blogging With Some Grace

40 comments:

  1. I feel your pain mate. It's particularly tricky when there's young kids in tow but now more than ever we need good friends.

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    1. Yep so so true. And as lovely as the internet is at showing us there are lovely caring people out there it is not the same as in person sometimes

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  2. I always appreciate having friends, but believe too that it really is the quality and not thr quantity that counts. And sometimes it really is hard when u see another person as a good friend, but the other person doesn't. :/

    Ai @ Sakura Haruka

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  3. What a post. It really got me thinking about my friends and the roles we have played in each others lives. A season friend resonated with me. :) Rachel x

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    1. Yes it is certainly food for thought when you start to think of the different roles different people play or have played in our life

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  4. Friends are such special people who all play apart in our lives.

    I have quite a few friends but only 2 besties that i would trust with my life, that also know everything there is to know about me.
    Just the way i like it! :)

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  5. I have 2 best friends. One since we were eight, and the other since thirteen.
    Other people have come and gone in my life, but these two have been my constant.
    Can't imagine life without them! :)

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    1. How special to have had the same people in your life for such a long time

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  6. It's really hard as we get older to maintain close friendships because life pulls us in all sorts of different directions. The key is space and understanding. A true friend will still be there for you even if you haven't caught up in months.

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    1. yes this is very true, true friends don't need to see each other very often at all. They can go months sometimes even years without seeing each other yet when they do get together it is just like it was yesterday they saw each other last. I am blessed to have a few of these friends, I just wish I got to see them more often

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  7. Maintaining friendships is tricky, particularly with little ones. The good thing is that sometimes they present themselves when you least expect it :-)

    What a cutie you were!

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  8. It comes and goes I think. Sometimes I miss my friends horribly and others I just want to hide from the world... so I figure they must too.
    Friendship is hard work just like any relationship really.
    Hugs to you. x

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    1. thanks for the hugs Carmen. It sure can be tricky at times and I must admit I do not always think I am the best of people to be around either

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  9. We have moved around so much that we've lost some of our "good friends". But I have come to find that "good friends" don't always deserve that status. I agree with Cathy, a true friend will always be there for you, not matter how long between coffees.

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    1. Yes true friends are always there regardless of time, I am very lucky to have some of these indeed, sadly what I don't have though is someone close by who I can catch up with that doesn't involve months of pre planning

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  10. How I look at it is you become friends with someone because you've crossed paths with them. Then, sometimes you separate. Sometimes you cross paths again. I had a great group of girlfriends when I was living and working in Tokyo. Miss them all like crazy :-/

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    1. Yes I agree totally Grace and that's just it there is someone who I have crossed paths with and I am certain it was because we needed each other yet for whatever reason it still hasn't quite worked out like I thought it should

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  11. My best friends are on the other side of the world. We keep in touch via SMS and skype, but man I'd give anything to catch up with them over a cuppa!

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    1. There is something lovely about catching up over a cuppa isn't there?

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  12. I have my gorgeous daughter and beautiful friends but I don't have that special soul mate/partner in my life. Each day is a new journey of appreciation of other things. Sometimes this tack doesn't work and I feel sad, frustrated and incredibly lonely. 'Im in my 40s full of vitality and life and yet I can't share it with that special someone' I cry to God. Then I pick myself up again and keep going; keep exploring the beauty that the world does bring me in its own way. And I feel better.♥

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    1. Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses to you lovely, you have just made me feel so incredibly blessed to have that someone special because as beautiful as friends may be there is some particularly beautiful about a soul mate.

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  13. I have a couple of friends who I can always count on for a cup of coffee or a glass of wine. We may not see each other regularly, but we know each other well and when we do catch up, the passing of time is irrelevant. And I love that. :-)

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    1. Yes I have a few friends who I don't see often but when we do...

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  14. I have 3 friends that I see regularly (all separately, not from the same circle) and I love them all dearly. Only 1 of those friends I could count on no matter what. As we get older everything seems to get in the way. Especially being that alot of my friends have partners, and I am a single mummy. I can only hope that it all gets easier one day!

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  15. yes it is a constant mantra some days isn't it? Please get easier one day

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  16. Yep, the busyness of people... relationships and friendships don't figure in this modern way of life. It's very sad. xx

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  17. And I read things like this and go, 'I am a slack friend, because I just enjoy my own company too much,' and it's too easy to get busy.

    Let's do coffee.
    This week.

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    1. Coffee sounds great Jess, your place or mine? Let me know what is good for you (though the week is once again quickly disappearing)

      And you know what I am totally a bad friend as well that is generally pretty comfy with their own company as well so I totally understand. xx

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    1. Yes I was a bit surprised at how many seem to know the feeling

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  19. I know exactly how you feel. I've made a friend of someone but I'm not sure if she feels the same connection I do..it sucks to be lonely. Hope things have improved since July :)

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    1. Yes this whole trying to know how other's feel about the same situation is tricky.

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  20. Great post. I know how you feel..it's hard sometimes to make friends. Hope things have improved since July :)

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    1. Thanks lovely, as for whether it is different now, let's just say some things change and some stay the same :)

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  21. Hi Rhianna, visiting via your visit to my blog via Dr Bron's!
    What a great post. I feel this totally, I'm similar. I do have a couple of good friends locally (one I'm close to) and I'm very close to a cousin and my sister, and that's pretty much my current circle. I had close friends when I was younger and living overseas, but life changes.
    Also I'm like your friend Jess up there, I'm a slack friend myself because I like my own company too much!
    So I've reaped what I sow, really. ;)
    Anyway I hope things have changed for you somewhat since July, or you are feeling happy with how they are?
    Great post, thanks.

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    1. Yes I am a lot like Jess in that respect as well, it is just so darn tricky. For the most part I am happy, especially since realizing I am not alone in my feelings.

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Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses to you, thanks for stopping by, it really means a lot, you taking the time so say hi. I try as much as I can to write a reply but if for some chance I don't get to it please know that I always read them.