Tuesday, August 13

February 9 2019. Alternatively two days in a row.

I'm not sure what scares me most. The blank white screen, or the flashing cursor patiently anticipating my first tentative click. 

It has been so long since I've let the words flow that I am not sure I even know how to do it any more.

I'm...

God...

Do I even know what I am any more??

I doubt it.

Do any of us really know what it is that we want these days?

I don't think so.

How can we??? When the opportunities are so apparently boundless....

I started this post way back in February. Weirdly the birthdate of my first kiss.

Oh be still my beating heart. Even after all these years (41-14 if you want to do the maths)

He was my Italian Stallion. Sadly I didn't treat him as well as I should have. A few months after this magical moment I found myself in the arms of a rather dashingly gorgeous blonde swimmer who was staying at our house so he could attend a major sporting event in my home town.

On a side note you gotta love the eighties where is was perfectly fine to send you child to the other side of the country to stay with another family that you had never met so they could attend a sporting event. This particular event was the Pacific School Games and was actually quite a big deal as it was actually an international event. Over the years as I was growing up we were forever having different kids coming and staying with us for various exchange programs. Sadly I never actually got to be exchanged though.

Now where was I?

Who knows???

Desperately trying to get some words on the screen.

The dying days of winter here in the south west have been an unusual mix. It would be unfair to call the cold bitter as such, even though I am currently sitting here shivering away as I type. I guess it has been more relentless than anything. The sun just has no warmth to it.

Our new home has a fireplace in it. Oh how I love thee.

It did not take long for me to work out how to have it constantly burning. I don't think the inside temperature has fallen below 24 degrees, and it has at times solidly sat just above 26. I take great pride in my lack of need for firelighters.



This was pretty much one of our first fires here. I know it wasn't our first night here I just cant remember if we had a fire the first night or not. I cant see how we wouldn't have mind you.

Of course now I am just rambling. Filling in the blank space.

Essentially I am just showing up. Sometimes showing up is all you can do. Even if you don't know what you should be doing or you don't want to be there. Sometimes showing up is enough. At least showing up is a start and a start is always better than nothing right?

And on that deep and not so meaningful note I am going to love and leave this post. There are still three other golden oldie drafts that I am determined to post regardless of how little sense they may make

 photo fwbksignature_zps702ebc7d.jpg

No comments:

Post a comment

Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses to you, thanks for stopping by, it really means a lot, you taking the time so say hi. I try as much as I can to write a reply but if for some chance I don't get to it please know that I always read them.