Tuesday, January 27

On pushing and knowing when you need not to.

The other day, or perhaps even last week, (my days feel to often seamlessly merge from one to another so keeping track of time is easier said than done, though I must admit it has never really been one of my strong points) I wrote about making it to the top of Stove Hill. It was a post that has been floating around in my noggin since the moment I conquered that pile of rocks and dirt. 

In my minds eye it was supposed to be about how good it feels to push oneself. How the feeling of achievement was worth the effort, no matter how hard that effort was. And I guess to some extent I did manage to convey that. Only as it too often the case with what I write, it somehow didn’t capture the true essence of what I wanted to say. Which is an absolutely ridiculous thing to say because if I have written something how can it not be what I want to say? Deep huh?

As I was coming down the hill the words I wanted to share were forming sentences in my head. My brain was buzzing with ideas. Of course by the time I actually made it home there were children to feed and a husband that needed picking up. A husband that I was so eager to pick up that when I left I forgot to unplug the car fridge and consequently drove around with an extension cord hanging out the back of the car. All of which I have earmarked as a story for another day mind you. My point for now was that once I got home life, as it so often does, distracted me and I never got to write those wondrous words.

Going out for that particular run that day reminded me of how much I loved running. With all our adventuring running had taken a bit of a back seat to. Though after conquering Stove Hill I was determined to push running back to the forefront. In fact I was determined to just push myself in as many ways as possible. 

One of the revelations I had on that day was that I am an easy street rider. Rarely do I push myself out of my comfort zone. A fact I was planning on changing after this run. Having just pushed myself beyond all comfort zones known to man (or at least this wo-man) and conquering what had once seemed unachievable I was essentially ready to take on the world and push myself at every possible opportunity.

And for maybe a week I did. 

And I felt awesome. 

My pushing mainly revolved around running but it was a start and that was all that mattered.

my running track of recent times
And then I stopped. 

And looking back now I can’t even recall the what or the why behind my non pushing. I guess life just got in the way (again).

A few weeks ago I decided to do the local Australia Day Fun Run. There was a 10km or 5km option. Suddenly remembering my desire to push myself I signed up for the 10km. Since there was only a little over two weeks till the big day I diligently started running as much as I could.

To say it was hard running again was an understatement. But it felt so awesome to be pushing myself I loved every minute of it. While where we are staying at the moment is incredibly beautiful and I love every minute of it, there is not exactly a good firm running path. 

There are lots of paddocks and sandy sides of the road but not a designated running path like I have become accustomed to in the past. Though I didn't really mind as it was just another way in which I was able to push past my comfort zones.

Only just under a week out from the run tragedy struck and when I went for my run my shins felt like they were on fire! 

As I tried to soldier on and push my way through the pain my mind went into overdrive trying to come to terms with what was happening. Was this a sign I should forget the fun run or was this the ultimate test in pushing past my comfort zones? 

You see until this point my entire running journey had been focused on not pushing myself too hard. I have always been fearful of injuries and in my mind the sure fire way to an injury was to push your body too hard. Something I had until this point successfully avoided. 

After much internal battling and feeling like one of the world's biggest failures I made the decision to not push myself any further. There was no point in sustaining an injury when I have (until now) successfully avoided doing so. 

Being an eternal optimist I secretly hoped that by resting I would have some kind of miraculous recovery and be able to run my race.

Whether that was the case or not you will have to wait and find out. For today is Tuesday and for the first time in what feels like forever I plan to join in with Essentially Jess for IBOT only Tuesday is nearly over so I must get a wriggle on. Do pop back in a few days for the rest of my tale though

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