Tuesday, February 28

Me & YOU Making IT Matter



Hello and welcome to another Me & YOU Monday where we Make it Matter.   
My name's Rhianna and I am your hostest with the mostest (even if I do say so myself).   
Seriously though I want to thank you for taking the time to have a read 
I really hope that you take the opportunity to find something in your life 
that you want to make matter and join in. 

Thanks to Nicole and Becky for joining in last week.  I can't begin to explain the types of warm and fuzzy I feel when I see people have linked up. (No pressure)

Last week I was a little AWOL in sharing what I was going to make matter.  I just couldn't seem to get my head around focusing on just one thing.  There is so much that I want to make matter.  I guess more than anything I want to make my life matter.  All of it, and in every possible way.  Nothing like high expectations is there?

But really doesn't it make sense to have a life that matters?  Isn't that what life itself is all about?

I know that in many ways my life does matter.  I know that I am valued and needed by the kidlets, hubs, and a whole bunch of other people.  I know that most of what I do, does in some way already matter and that is great but I just know there is more that can be done.

It is no secret that life is a tricky balance.  In fact the key to life is in fact working out that balance.  Finding an equilibrium that ticks all the boxes and gets it all done is one of life's great mysteries.  One that may never be unearthed but one that still needs to be searched for.  It gives us something to aim for which is what we all need.  A goal.

I still haven't worked out my goal for this week.  Like I said before there is just so much I want to do.  So much to make matter.  Housework, quality time with children, health, personal development, the list is pretty much endless.  

The other week I came up with ten things that mattered.  They were broad and far reaching but all important and all things that in some way or another I managed to make matter just a little more.  They are things that will constantly matter and need to always be at the forefront of my mind.  They are life habits that I still need to form. 

Anyway enough about me, what about YOU?  What is it in your life that you want to make matter?

I hope that you will come and join in, it is super, super easy.
  1. Have a look at your life 
  2. Find something that you want to make matter a little more
  3. Blog about it
  4. Spend a week (or more) consciously making it matter a little more
  5. Blog about it again
  6. Share the posts here
  7. Tell all your friends and get them to do the same, tweeting about it as you go
The link is open all week so make sure you pop back to see what is mattering to others.


I was, I am, I meant to...I didn't

I was going to be super organised.  Though quite frankly they feel like famous last words.  Perhaps organisation is actually more of a myth than reality.  Or at least that is the way it is for this little black duck.

I am trying to take my writing to a higher level.  Well at least last week I was.  In fact last week was so good that I even had one of my posts shared through Google.  Which was like the first time ever I have been aware of such a thing happening.  You can only imagine what sort of awesome that left me feeling.

This week I haven't been able to even spit anything out regardless of a level.  I keep looking back at last week thinking gee that was good, that is what I need to do all the time.  Only I didn't do anything out of the ordinary.  I just sat down, wrote and got lucky.

Mind you it wasn't all roses last week.

I meant to write a post to share some of my proud mummy moments.
I meant to also write about birthing and breastfeeding.
I meant to share some more of my favourite songs.
I meant to do a whole lot more than I actually did.

Remember that little meme that Karlee started last year, you know Me & YOU?  Yes the one that she handed over to me and I added my own little twist to make it Me & YOU, Making IT Matter.  The one that I didn't really post much for last week.  The one that so far this week I have posted even less for.   The one that not surprisingly not many people have ever joined in for.  Yep that one.

Anyway, just because I haven't actually posted about making stuff matter it is not to say I haven't been busy actually making stuff matter.  Last week wasn't just great for writing it also saw me donning my Brooks and running.  Well starting a running program that by the end of it should see me running 5km like there's no tomorrow.  I feel awesome.  Strong, powerful and heading towards fitness.  I say heading towards fitness because I am pretty sure gasping for breath after a 90 second slow run (or fast jog for the optimists out there) is not exactly what you would call fit.

So where does that leave me now I wonder?

Well, I did think about just saying see you later to Make it Matter, but I can't.  You see I need it.  I need to be constantly reminded to make things matter.  I need to have a space where I feel I am accountable for my actions, or in some cases lack there of.  For some reason blogging about my housework has actually encouraged me to do more of it.  While I can relate to Veronica finding her inspiration in grit and grime, for me words tend to flow faster when there is a clear walkway from the front to the back door.

For a while it did bother me that the only way I seemed to make myself a better housewife was by blogging, but life is all about the positive right? So what if the only way I can motivate myself to get the mundane, yet important and necessary out the way is by putting it in the blogosphere where potentially millions might read it?  But then I realised that the reality is I'll be lucky if a thousand people read it and at least we won't be living in squalor.

Enough of that though.  I can see me heading towards a pity party and nobody wants to go there.

Where nobody does want to go however remains a bit of a mystery.  One that is still waiting to be unraveled.  Hopefully I can discover it before anyone else, write about it and get the thousands, if not millions of views I spoke of earlier.  In the meantime I'll just keep babbling along here and hoping for the best.

It's Tuesday and I have blogged (go me) and go all the other IBOTers that have joined in over at
(Click the button to take you there)


Sunday, February 26

I'm Sorry

Image from Yaroslav B


I'm sorry for what's been and done.  
Even though it's all been seen before.
I'm sorry for what I am, where I've gone, 
and all the times I let it go wrong as well.

I'm sorry I'm the way I am.  
What more is there to say?
This is just the way I am.  
The way I tend to be.

I guess you could say, it is, just me.  

I know I say there's a better me...I guess we'll wait and see.
Who's to know and who's to say just what it takes for me to be me.


I'd like to say I try to be my very best, but honestly it is a little less.
But that's ok, I've heard them say, just take it day by day.
Tomorrow is another chance.  A second try to do it all again.
And one that I will take.

For as sorry as I say I am, I'm also not sorry at all.
I love the way I am and who I'm going to be.

 photo fwbksignature_zps702ebc7d.jpg

Friday, February 24

The Week That Was

Source
So I have just spent the last half hour writing what I liked to think of as a rather witty and insightful look at the week that was, only to have it just disappear on me. Gone. Pfft just like that. Words of wisdom essentially just washed down the drain before their time. Brilliance laying wasted at the bottom of a pool of nothingness no longer to be viewed by anyone.

But I won't dwell on what could have been. It came out once, it may very well come out again. I am nothing if not eternally optimistic.

So what was this brilliance which the iPad ripped out of my hands and threw out to sea, never to be read?

Well it started with recommending to those who had not yet made the wise choice to follow this wonderful little blog to do so. There are multiple options over in the side bar so you can take your pick. That way you will never miss another word of my wisdom again.

In terms of writing greatness I feel that the past week has been right up there. Sure it is still some steps away from a Nobel prize or a Pulitzer or whatever a flash writing award might be called these days, but there has still been some flashes of pure brilliance.

It all started on Friday when I explained why I keep flogging my blogging. (Which can I just say the words flogging my blogging get a chuckle out of me every time I say them.). It was almost like that post freed something within me as from there things just got better and better.

Sure I might not have actually written what I was going to make matter on Monday but I have spent the entire week thinking about it. What's more and possibly more importantly, I have been making lots of things actually matter. Like writing and running, as well as giving the girls (especially the big one) some one on one time where they have my undivided attention. Which means come Monday I should have something wonderful written about it all. I did however manage to get something out so that if others had something that they wanted to make matter there was a space for them to link up. As it turned out two awesome people did just that.

From here though my week just went on to bigger and better bloggy highlights. Sure I wasn't interviewed by the Today show (I must have missed their call) but for this lil wanna be blogger the beautiful comments and support felt this week has been a bit nice.  As have the slightly higher than normal page views.

I had planned a post to commemorate the 70th Bombing of Darwin but it never quite happened. Given then significance of the event I was actually going to do a bit of research and all sorts of wonderful things but unfortunately I never quite got there. I did however get to share some photos from the ceremony I went to on the weekend. And there is always a chance that the post I had in mind will eventuate at some point in the not too distant future.

What I did do though was give thanks to a life of lost love. One of my most favorite posts in a very long time. I am also a little fond of a moment of bliss. In between it all I had a bit of a funny feeling. Which didn't quite come out the way it was in my head but certainly has something in it.

All in all a pretty fab blogging week (even if I do say so myself). Stay tuned though because the best is yet to come.  If you didn't go and sign up to be a follower, or subscribe by email or whatever it is you do to keep in touch with your favourite blogs go and do so now.  You won't regret.  I promise, greatness is just round the corner.

Joining in with


FYBF

Thursday, February 23

A Life of Lost Love

Recently when we were decluttering and clearing things out I came across my old journals and memoirs of a life gone by.  I have been holding on to them, waiting for the right time to turn them into something wonderful.  I made sure that there were left somewhere handy.  I want to think that the right time is soon.

Today as my littlest princess slept I dragged them out.  They are not all I thought they would be.  Perhaps there are some missing.  I doubt it though.  These pages have always been important to me, they are one of the few things that has always been where ever I am.  It has been years since I added to them though.

They reflect a life gone by.  The person I was.  In some places the person I thought I was going to be.  I am no longer that person and doubt I ever will be.  Perhaps this is where this funny feeling has come from?

I didn't bother reading through them all.  I just flicked through here and there.  Reminiscing of what I did many moons ago.  Some of them date back twenty years.  Twenty years!  Hard to believe I am really that old.  Strangely though they all fit into just one shoebox.  It doesn't quite seem right that twenty years of memories can be found in just one old shoe box. Of course there are many years where for what ever reason I did not write.

There is one common thread through all that I wrote though.  Love.  And all that it entails.  From a young teenage crush to first kisses and declarations of undying emotions.  So much angst, confusion and heartache.  I have never been one to enjoy being alone.  From an early age I felt that people belonged together.  Life is not a path we should have to walk alone.

It seems like all I was ever concerned about was finding someone to be with.  I cringed many times looking at all the names of those I thought I loved.  Those I wanted to love.  Those I wanted to love me.

Hubs is there.  We were childhood sweethearts you see.  I still remember the first day I ever laid eyes upon him.  I knew then and there I wanted to only ever be with him.  I was about twelve.

Only there were obstacles.  Lots of them at times.  Some were real and at the time unpassable.  Others were more based on interpretation or perspective and not really there at all.  Either way it took a while, a really long while in fact, for us to give our love a go.

We were too young to really know much about anything.  At least that is what we were told.  It was easier to listen rather than try and find out for ourselves. The first time round it did not work out so well.  He broke my heart.  Shattered it in fact, into a million little pieces.  Maybe even more.  I wondered if it would ever be whole again.  I cried a river of tears and wondered why the world was so cruel.

The Lord works in mysterious ways though.

With time comes hindsight, wisdom and age.  Combine them altogether and what was once a foggy, cloudy haze becomes a crystal clear reality.  I know now that I had to go through all that I did so that when we were given our second chance we wouldn't let it go.

I had to sail through muddy waters and choppy windy seas so that when the calmness lay before me I could walk through it all with ease.  All those frogs and toads along the way, helped me to find my prince of today.

Sure in some ways I wish that I could turn back the tides of time and write the perfect story for my life. The one that has me married before sex and a career before kids, but life isn't meant to be without a hitch or two.

I am thankful, truly deeply thankful for my life of lost love.  For all the boys and men and everything in between that I thought I loved.  That I thought I wanted to be with.  That I gave a little piece of my heart to in the hope of something wonderful.  For each and every one of them has helped me here today and here today I am blessed in every way.

Here today I know what true love really is.  Without an inkling of a doubt.  For that I am more than thankful.

What about you? What are you thankful for?

Head on over to
and join in the joy that is


Wednesday, February 22

Wordless Wednesday - The Day War Came to Town









Being a little cheeky and joining in with a few today.
 Check out more great photos at

My Little Drummer Boys
and



and


I have this feeling...

A horrible, sinking sensation, right at the bottom of my stomach.  At least that is where it starts.  I can feel it slowly creeping up my chest and forming a lump in my throat.  If feels like fear.  Like there is something lurking for me just out of sight.

I don't know what it is and I don't know where it came from.  All I know is that it is here and I don't like it.  At all.  Not one little bit.

Sadly this is not the first time I have felt like this.  In fact in some ways it is an all too familiar feeling.  Yet it is also totally unknown.  I keep telling myself it will be alright.  Though not even I really believe that.  How can I when I don't even know what it is?

It's like there is some turmoil rolling around inside of me.  Something that shouldn't be the way that it is.  Something I need to change, or work out or perhaps just let go of?  Whatever it is I just can't place it or shake it for that matter.

I spent some time going through some old journals today, perhaps that is it.  There is much in my past I wish were not there.  Steps that were taken on the journey through adolescences to adulthood that I would rather not have taken.  A phase of life that I am glad to have passed.

The path that I took, the choices I made, I know they brought me to where I am today, but surely, I can't help but wonder if there weren't another way?  I love the life I have and all that it is.  I know that it is purely because of the things that I did, but there are some things I just wish weren't there.  There are somethings I just don't care to admit.

Alas though I must.





Tuesday, February 21

A moment of bliss


Right now life feels blissful. There is a small child gently slumbering on my chest. I am reclined on the couch with my feet slightly elevated and pointed toward the open window where they catch a gentle breeze blowing by.

If it weren't for the glow of my lovely iDevice I would be watching thunderous storm clouds roll on by. They look ominous.  The sky is awash with a pale red. Which for his time of night makes it all a little eerie. The silence being broken only by the whirring of the fans and the ticking of the clocks just adds to the effect.

As always my brain feels like it is doing over time.  Children are either sleeping or close to it.  The dishes are quietly waiting by the side of the sink. They are rinsed and partially clean and may well sit there till morning since there are not really many at all.  My body feels like it has become one with the sofa... I am honestly of sure if I ever want to move again.

Ok so that might be a slight exaggeration but I could happily not move from here for quite some time.  Alas though I must.

This slumbering child is slowly becoming sticky and sweaty.  Despite the fan and the breeze the air is still warm, especially when two bodies are so close together.  I know I should move her but there is something I love about holding a sleeping child.  They are so relaxed and peaceful.  Their innocence so obvious.

I should be thinking about what it is I am going make matter this week. My poor little Me & YOU meme that has way more me than you is still waiting for me to link in this week's goal.  With so many important things in life to make matter it is hard to come up with just one each week.  It is hard not to get despondent and question if the meme itself matters at times but deep done I know that it does.  The changes that I can see.  Feel even.  Life is better because of the time I have taken to make things matter.

Thinking about it disapaites the moment. The bliss is slowly fading as the slumbering child suddenly feels heavy and my neck stiff from maintaining such an awkward position in order to write all of this.

I know the moment I stop typing the spell will be broken and not likely to be created at again.  When I carry the  baby up to her cot I will discover one child not actually sleeping and remember the washing still waiting ever so patiently (as it always does) to be hung, folded got in and put away. Each stage of the dreaded chore needing to be done more than once as well.  No wonder I was reluctant to end my magical relaxation session.

Though I mustn't be greedy I did manage to have a whole 30 minutes to myself earlier this afternoon.  I wisely used that time to complete day 2 week 1 of my ease into 5 km app.  I feel all kinds of cool I can tell you!!

For more total coolness head over and check out some of the other great IBOT posts

Monday, February 20

Me & YOU Monday - Making IT Matter



Hello and welcome to another Me & YOU Monday where we Make it Matter.   
My name's Rhianna and I am your hostest with the mostest (even if I do say so myself).   
Seriously though I want to thank you for taking the time to have a read 
I really hope that you take the opportunity to find something in your life 
that you want to make matter and join in. 

Last week I came up with a list of things that I want to make matter.  There were ten in total.  All fairly simple but if given enough time, thought and effort they can (at least in my mind) be monumental life changes that will lead me down the path I believe I want to be walking (or at least try walking down and take it from there).

I know that one of the main ideas of making things matter is to just focus on one thing at a time but I needed to put the list out there so I can remain, or perhaps rather regain some focus.  Ideally I want to be at the place where all of those things matter naturally without too much of a second thought.  That way I can be concentrating on making other things matter as well.

Right now though my mind is just bursting at the seams with ideas on how I can nurture this beautiful little baby of a meme.  I know that it has potential.  I know that if I stick with it one day it will be something special that bloggers the world over will want to join in.

What I don't know is how to actually go about that.  

Back to how I went last week.  On the whole I didn't do too badly with making the items on the list matter last week.  I by no means got 10/10 which is not such a bad thing as if I aced it all straight away I would have nothing to write about.  What I did though was realise I am not too far off the mark either.  I just need to keep plugging away.  I am fairly certain that I am pointed in the right direction I just need to gather a bit of strength and speed to pull me along.

Anyway enough about me, what about YOU?  What is it in your life that you want to make matter?

I hope that you will come and join in, it is super, super easy.
  1. Have a look at your life 
  2. Find something that you want to make matter a little more
  3. Spend a week (or more) consciously making it matter a little more
  4. Blog about it
  5. Share the post here
  6. Tell all your friends and get them to do the same, tweeting about it as you go



Sunday, February 19

Fresh Horse Brigade - Blogging Weirdos



A few weeks ago Eden of Edenland began to host her first meme.  Being the crazed blogging follower that I am I have not missed one yet.  Though last week's funeral song nearly had me.  This week however it is easy peasy to join in  and discuss which blogging weirdos tickle my fancy the most.
Edenland's Fresh Horses Brigade
Well at least to start with I thought it was easy.

After all there are like heaps and heaps of really great bloggers out there.  The list of buttons I have started to accumulate is testament to that.  Only I don't have the time to write about them all right now and I suspect you are probably short on time to read something of that length.

So I have narrowed it down.

The first I would like to draw your attention to is 

In her own words Jess is slightly crazy, possibly zany and also depressed.  She is also the best darn vlogger this side of the black stump.  Seriously.  See for yourself.

She was also the instigator of the I'm Worth It challenge which saw a number of top Aussie bloggers look for the beauty within



One of the other places that at stalk religiously is 

Kate is married to a supertrucker (which I just love the sound of) and is Mum to four particularly awesome children.  She is also the very lovely host of one of my most favourite link up Thankful Thursday

Finally, and certainly not last but not least is my newest favourite place to sit and read is 





Aside from having the coolest button or tramp stamp as she refers to them, Miss Cinders has a light hearted and entertaining view of the world.  How could someone who names their laptops Harmony and Cinderella not being amazing?

Like I said before I could go on forever about all the blogs I like to read, instead go and check a few our for yourself and see what I mean.

Getting Sporty - Winning isn't always everything

Now that school has resumed, life is beginning to return what would commonly be known as a type of normal.  Routines are slowly being established and a groove is in the process of being formed and slotted into.  Naturally part of that groove needs to have a place for sport.


Looking back at my own childhood my level of sport participation was probably considered average.  It was an optional extra but there if I wanted it.  My parents never denied me a right to participate in extra curricular activities.  They happily transported me where I needed to be when needed.  


One could even say they were encouraging and supportive of not just mine but my brother's endeavours.  However what they were not was forceful or demanded.  In fact if anything they may have been a little too lax.  You see for as happily as they let us participate they let us drop out.  Which I kinda look back on now and wish they didn't.  


Only I won't dwell on it any more as I have already shared how I feel on the subject in my las link up with The Sporty Mummy.  Besides it is a slight digression from where today's post was going.  Today's post is supposed to be about gracious losers.


One of the things I love most about playing a sport, particularly a team one is the opportunity it provides to teach that winning isn't always everything.  As long as you know that you gave it your all then that is all that matters.  When Miss L first started playing basketball her team was one of primarily new players.  They were also a little younger than the rest of the competition.


As such there were many a time when the team was quite convincingly overpowered.   Each and every game (well almost anyway). They still went out there each and every week, keen and eager to give it a go. I was in total admiration of how these young girls handled a loss and when I say loss I am talking a monumental type of loss. The kind where mercy rules come into play.  

To the credit of the team and coach never once were the girls bothered.  They just got out there and tried even harder the following week.  Never once was there a complaint or off word about being on the losing team.  They may have finished at the bottom of the ladder that year but since then they have just gone from strength to strength.


When the shoe was on the other foot and Miss L's team became dominant they were just as gracious.  In fact on occasion when it looked inevitable they would win I have seen them go out of their way to ensure weaker team players had the opportunity to score.  Truly heart warming stuff and a prime example of why playing a team sport is a valuable part of growing up.



This weekend sees week two of competition, it is still a grading round.  Miss L is playing in two teams at the moment.  In in her age group and one the group up.  She will be moving there next year so it is nice exposure for her.  Though I think she was a little overwhelmed by the size of some of them last week.  When the hockey season starts she will more than likely not play the second game so often.

It is too early to say how her grade will go.  It looks like it could be a very well balanced competition.  Her team has a number of strong and experienced players as well as a few newbies that would actually benefit from a lower division but there are not enough players.

Going by the slaughterings they have experienced so far in the other team however I think it will be another character and skill building year.  Which is triumph in itself, just not the kind that comes with a medal or trophy at the end of the year.  Anything is possible though and given the fight and determination I saw on the court yesterday there is certainly the chance of a miracle win.

This post links Youth Sports Weekend hosted by the lovely Nicole over at


Sunday Session - Writing Songs

It is with great delight that I am returning once more to join in with Thea over at Do I Really Wanna Blog? for her Sunday Session.

Last week as I sat down to write my post the music industry had just lost a truly beautiful and talented voice with the tragic death of Whitney Houston.

This week sees me share a few tunes that I listened to while writing a few blog posts.  I have a specific folder in iTunes, called Possible Writing Music.  When I started creating the list I wasn't sure if they would all make the cut.  However that was some time ago, sadly I don't get the chance to write and listen to music as much as I would like.

The first one that made me think it perfect for sharing was

A long time favourite of mine actually. I love songs that tell a story.

The next song, also tells a story. Over the years it has been sung by many, some more well known than others. I was actually surprised that I was able to find a clip of this particular version. I know that I have a copy of it in my player but how I actually acquired it I am not sure. I am certainly interested to hear if anyone else has heard of Keb Mo


During the birth of my second daughter the wonderful midwife with us had brought in an Enya CD that I just constantly listened to. It was bliss. Apparently though I was the only one who didn't find a 33 minute CD on repeat for some eight hours damaging to the ears.

When my third daughter was born, hubs politely requested (read demanded) I not take any Enya with me. I obliged and replaced her with Mumford and Sons. Once again this was not exactly well received by those present. For me though, much like Enya, they will always hold a special place in my heart.

This is one of my favourites.


I particularly like these lyrics.  They kick in at about 1.46 and the whole tempo of the song changes.  It is one of those times when I can feel the music running through my veins.

Love it will not betray you
Dismay or enslave you, it will set you free
Be more like the man you were made to be
There is a design, an alignment, a cry
Of my heart to see,
The beauty of love as it was made to be

Once again I was pleasantly surprised to be able to find the clip for this song. It just goes to show how musically challenged I am. I have no concept of what is big, popular or anything else. All I know is what I like and this is right up there

Have you heard of them either? When Miss L got her MP3player it came with a few preloaded songs. This was one of them.

And finally for today is certainly an oldie but a goodie.

These guys give me all kinds of tingles. Always have. My dad always said they lived just down the road from them when my (much older than me) brother was growing up. I was insanely jealous.

Thanks as always for stopping by. May the rest of your day be filled with fairy wishes and butterfly kisses.

Oh and make sure you head over to Thea's to check out all the other great songs people are sharing today.

Friday, February 17

Why I Keep Flogging My Blogging

It feels like forever since I just sat and wrote.  You know that soul searching, deep, meaningful writing that just stirs the heart and pulls at strings.  The free unstructured stuff that just flows and flows.  Which is ironic really, as it appears as if I may have just managed, to almost grasp this whole posting regular concept.  Naturally this is a wonderful thing.

Only the writing that has been coming out has not been the stuff that I want to write.  I mean on some levels it has been.  It's not like what I am writing has been untrue or not meant but it was stuff I made myself write just so I was writing.  Just so I had something to post in the hope it might attract a few more readers.  For as much as I dearly long to be a famous author, making the time to write is sometimes easier said than done.  Finding the time when the ideas and words are ready to flow is of course another thing altogether.


Mind you the fact that I don't actually know what it is I want to write doesn't particularly help matters either.  For some reason I need constant gratification from what I write.  Not necessarily people commenting all the time but just knowing that people are taking the time to at least click on a link and start to read me...

Right now though I really am just trying to concentrate on writing...(she says as she drifts off to Klout to check out her popularity status there)  No really.  I just need to keep on writing. 


Thankfully though I do feel I have a bit of a knack for entertaining so I am confident if I just keep plodding along all will fall into place.  Every now and then and sometimes even more, I manage to come up with something that shows me I am still heading in the right direction.  I just need to remember to keep on going.

Created here

There are just so many distractions though remaining focused sometimes takes more dedication than I can find.  Perhaps in the not to distant future I will make that matter?

It won't be easy though when there are things like this floating around

procrastination photo: Procrastination Procrastination.jpg
Found here

I couldn't help but get a giggle out of it.  That sums me up to a tee.  Or at least the old me.  The new and slightly improved me that is currently in the process of developing, will not be a procrastinator.  She will be a decisive go-getter that writes awesome books that people the world over want to read.  That way Hubs, the kids and I can go and travel this wide brown land and come up with even more amazing things to write about.

sigh...

Everyone's gotta dream right?  Well that's mine.

In the meantime I will just keep on flogging my blogging because just between me and you, I know the best is yet to come.  I can just feel it.  I am like a good wine, I just keep getting better with age.

Joining in with Glowless

FYBF




Thursday, February 16

Thankful Thursday - The Powers That Be

This is one of those posts that I have had in my head for well over a week now.   I have mentally written it more times than I care to count.  Do you think I could remember any of it when I actually sat down to write it?

Made worse only by the fact when I sat down to write it I thought, this shouldn't take too long given how much I have been thinking about it.  Talk about famous last words.

I am not sure whether it was noticed or not, but last week was the first in a very long time that failed to see me be thankful on a Thursday.  I have mentioned on numerous occasions how smitten I am with the notion of consciously taking the time to think about giving thanks.  As a society as a whole I think we are becoming too expectant of what we are given.  Kate's wonderful link up ensures that each and every week (nearly) I take the time to consciously think about just how god dam blessed I really am.

So far this year I have been more than pleased with the regularity of my blogging and while it is primarily posts that link up with others in an effort to increase in my coverage at least the posts are coming and for that I am truly thankful.  However regular blogging is what you might call time consuming, especially as part of the linky love is taking the time to read all (or at least some) of the other blogs joining in.  Which is one of the reasons why last week I was postless on Thursday.  That and the fact I just couldn't decide what I wanted to be thankful for.

You see more often that not when I go to write this posts I just want to give thanks for my life.  I really feel incredibly blessed.  How could I not?  Without an inkling of a doubt I am married to the man of my dreams.  I have three wonderful children, plenty of food on our table and roof over our heads that will hopefully one day belong to us as opposed to sharing ownership with the bank.  And that is only the tip of the iceberg.

Only I am pretty sure that each and every week you don't want to read about me going on about how awesome my life is.  That could possibly get a bit boring for both you and me.  As such I like to write about special things I am thankful for.  Which is sort of why there was no post last week.  I just couldn't think of anything special to give thanks for.  Well that was until Friday.  On Friday it dawned on me, I need to give thanks to the powers that be.  After all they are the ones behind the life that I have.

Only it was no longer Thursday.  I am not sure why my pretty little head thinks that I can only post a Thankful Thursday but it does.  In the bid to be super organised I decided that I would keep this brilliant idea for the following week.  I was pretty excited about having so much time to think about it.  As it turns out all that time was perhaps not so much of a blessing.

Anyway back to today and finally making the time to sit down and give thanks to the powers that be.

The ones that kept my house keys safe when they were sitting at the mailbox for days.
The ones that help me get my favourite car parks almost every time.
The ones that seem to send me unexpected money when I need it most.
The ones that change the plans I make because they know there is a better path for me to walk.
The ones that have helped in so many ways over the years that I happily trust them to guide and direct my life.

Of course it is not always roses.  There are times when they leave me scratching my head and wondering why they are doing things the way they do.  In the end though it all comes together and for that I am more than truly thankful.

What about you?  Do trust your fate to the powers that be or are you the controlling force?

Head over to Kate Says Stuff to see what others are thankful for this Thursday.

Wednesday, February 15

Tuesday, February 14

10 Things That Matter

Regular readers would know that at the moment I am all about Making IT Matter. Whatever it is I am doing I want to make sure it matters. I want to start being more accountable for my time and the way I spend it. I want to be a positive influence and example for my children. I want my life to matter as much as it possibly can.

Now I have realised that it is not necessary for me to change the world at large to make my life matter. All I need to do is make sure that I am being the best me I can be. I know that I have mentioned this before but it is something that I constantly need to remember. I sometimes forget to remember you see.

When Karlee handed over Me & YOU I was ecstatic.  As all the cool blogs host an awesome linky and now I would have my own as well.  Of course change can be a very scary thing though so I know that not everyone will want to take part.  Which is fine.  With time I hope to create an inspiring place where change is not so scary.  Where the final destination is worth the journey, regardless of what the road was like.

In the meantime though I will just continue to share my story and the positive changes I am creating, not just for me but my family as well.  I am so thankful to those who have taken the time to share their changes.

Now I know previously I have only worried about making one thing matter each week.  I don't like to put too much pressure on myself.  At this still early stage of the game it is important I have as many successes as possible.  However.  I have realised that there are so many things that need to matter that I can't just do one at a time.  Thankfully there are a few that can all sort of tie together though so it doesn't seem so overwhelming.

  1. Write regularly.  And by that I mean every day.  Like anything it improves with practise.  If I am going to be serious about being a famous writer I really need to put pen to paper, of fingertips to keys or something other than the current levels of procrastination and self doubt.
  2. Being present for the children.  Making sure I disconnect from the electric world and spend time living.
  3. Ensuring that I am well rested and suitable fueled to tackle anything the treasures might spontaneously throw at me.
  4. Providing interesting and nutritious food on a regular basis.  It is important to be aware of what works best for our bodies and provide it that, as much as possible.  Plus since eating is a part of life it only makes sense to get the most out of it.
  5. Leading an active life.  Getting out and about in the great outdoors and making the most of the land that surrounds us.
  6. Remaining true to what I believe in.
  7. Letting others know they are cared for and loved.
  8. Being on time.  Being late is rude.  Plain and simple.  Sounds harsh I know but as someone trying to curb a terrible (and I mean give her a half hour head start kind of terrible) habit of always being excessively late I need to be harsh.  I have little to no concept of time.  Never have.  But I want to.  I don't want my girls to grow up thinking it is alright to keep people waiting for you.  All. The. TIME.
  9. The housework.  I can't believe I got this far without mentioning the housework.  Maintaining a clean and tidy house matters more than anything.  It is the cornerstone of happiness for the modern family.
  10. The washing.  Similar but not quite the same as the housework.  It is such a mammoth part of life it gets a point all of it's own.  (That and it's late and I am really struggling to think of anything else right now)
So there you have it.  Ten things that I will make matter this week.  What about you?

Joining in with my own

Monday, February 13

Me & YOU Monday Making IT Matter


Hello and welcome to another Me & YOU Monday where we Make it Matter.   
My name's Rhianna and I am your hostest with the mostest (even if I do say so myself).   
Seriously though I want to thank you for taking the time to have a read 
I really hope that you take the opportunity to find something in your life 
that you want to make matter and join in.  


So here we are again.  Monday morning fresh and bright ready to face the day.  Only it is not Monday morning.  It is Sunday night as I write and I am far from fresh, bright and ready to start the day.  Even when it gets here in some eight hours or what ever it is I am not sure if I will be ready for it.  It is one of those weekends where I wouldn't mind another day.  Only I also wouldn't mind if it were a day without children.  At least for some of it.

Don't get me wrong I love the little rascals, but they are just so darn good at getting me to stop doing the things I really want to be doing, that every now and then I think of them disappearing for an hour or six.  Now I know that school nicely provides that opportunity.  At least for the older two but getting ready for school brings with it a whole kettle of fish that most days I could do without.

Last week The School Routine was what I was meant to make matter.  There was meant to be no lateness or rushing.  It was meant to be calm and orderly with nutritious lunches neatly packed and waiting to be carried out the door.  Oh and did I mention the made beds?

I do get a huge tick for the lunch factor.  Everybody was very well feed last week and it felt great.  Having the chicken already cooked and sliced ready and waiting to be made into a delicious wrap each day made life rather easy.  As was the stack of muffins I had made and frozen.  I am starting to understand why so many mothers are raving about this kind of organisation.

Sadly though we were not exactly free from rushing or being late.  Compared to last years efforts there is a massive improvement but there is still plenty of room to keep on going.  The homework factor never really took off either.  Miss Z happily read her reader each day which is all that was being asked of so I guess I can't complain much there but Miss L is another story.

Apparently there is still another week or two to go before her homework contract will be ready for me to sign.  There seems to be much discussion as to whether primary students really need homework.  I can see both sides but I think I am in support of at least some type of homework.

Dinner, bath and bed for all children by 8 hasn't really been working out too badly but it didn't exactly happen each and every night.  Though it has not been far off the mark and a definite improvement from times gone by.  The girls are slowly adjusting to the life of a routine.  I know that if I keep at it it won't be long till it is second nature.

However I was so busy trying to make this matter that other things got slightly overlooked.  As I write there is a small mountain of washing waiting to be folded.  It has quietly been growing for a few days now.  Thankfully though there is not much to wash.  A load at the most.

The dishes by the sink are washed and just waiting to be put away so the kitchen is fairly under control.  Mind you, there were a few days when coming downstairs to make the morning coffee was simply frightful because of the state that the kitchen had been left in the night before.

I haven't felt nearly together as I did the week before.  There were odd glimpses a couple of days where it felt like I had everything under control but there were only glimpses and mostly rather fleeting.  I didn't get nearly as much blogging done as what I would like to do.  In fact for the first time in probably months I didn't take time on Thursday to be thankful.  For the second week running I didn't know things on Friday either.

I must remember it is all about small steps and not getting defeated when the steps feel like they are going backwards.  I can do this.  I can make the change that I desire.

What about YOU?  
What is the change that you desire?  
What is it in your life that you want to MAKE MATTER?

Sunday, February 12

Fresh Horses Brigade - Funeral Song

After such a great response to last week's FHB over at Edenland I spent most of this week wondering what this week's topic would be.  When I saw what it was I must admit I was just a little disappointed.


Now to be quite truthful with you I have never really stopped to think about my funeral in any shape or form.  In fact I have never even really given much time to the concept of me actually dying.  It is not that I don't think it will happen.  Of course it will.  Death is one of the few things that comes with some certainty.  There is also a fair bit of uncertainty about it all as well so I would prefer just put it in the don't want to know basket.

After all it will make little to no difference to me what goes on to celebrate my life, after I have left it.  Given the success (or lack there of) for some of my birthday parties, I wouldn't expect the turn out to my funeral to be anything spectacular.  Unless of course between now and then I do something amazing that touches thousands....

When it comes to funerals I am a little torn.  Apart from dad's funeral a few years ago I have never had to help plan one.  I hope that it is a long time before I ever have to go through that again and there weren't even high levels of family conflict.  We all just seemed to know and agree on the right way to say goodbye.

The songs we chose were Amazing Grace (with words and bagpipes which is not easy to find), CCR Down on the Corner and a marching band version of When the Saints Go Marching In.  My mother would probably have preferred to have something other than Down on the Corner but she was grossly outvoted and she knew it.  My brother, sister and I felt that dad would not have wanted us moping around so we tried to make it as cheery as possible.

However songs like the Sesame Street tune at a two week old babies funeral is far from cheery.  Standing in the back rows of a full room thinking of all the things a little life will never get to lead...Four weeks before our wedding, the best man's wife went into early labour.  To this day I am in awe of how they took it all in their stride.  I praise the Lord and thank the Powers That Be, that I know not of that pain.

But back to what songs I would have at my funeral.

I guess it could be rather fitting to play this one

I mean it is nearly like my name and all.  

Funnily enough though I had not even heard of it till I was nearly 21.  Shocking I know.  I can still remember the handsome young fellow (not hubs though he is a handsome fellow) who took me into his flash surround sound thearter setup.  Which for the time was rather impressive and not as widespread as it is these days.  It was a surreal feeling.  Sitting there.  My heart a flutter being in this young man's presence.  Anticipating what was to come next.  

I had been longing for his attention for a while you see.  So having him serenade me if you will with Stevie Nicks singing a song about my name (which essentially made the song about me)....well you can just imagine the rest.

Perhaps it is not so fitting to have this played after all.

Unfortunately though that is the best I can come up with at this stage.  I hope that my death is still a long way away, giving me plenty of time to contemplate the best way to encourage those that love me to celebrate the passing of my life.  I do have a few details already worked out.  Like the fact that I don't want any black.  I would much rather bright colours and rainbows than morbid and black.

Oh and that if time permits I will have a live wake as well.  When my dad turned 76 we had a massive party and invited all the people we expected to come to his funeral.  We called it a live wake.  It was one of the most wonderful parties I have ever been too.  At the time dad had been rather unwell so there was a very real chance that a real wake wasn't too far round the corner.  Dad couldn't bear the thought of us having a party without him so we had it while he could join in.  

What about you?  
Have you thought about what your funeral would look like?  
Head on over to Edenland and see what others have said

Sunday Session - A Tribute to Whitney

Originally when I began thinking of today's post for Thea's Sunday Session I was at a loss.  When I saw that Eden's Fresh Horse Brigade was this week centred around music I thought that perhaps I could combine the two.  However when today saw the passing of Whitney Houston and my post for neither were still not written I knew what I had to do.

Now I am sure that there will be many a blog post about the loss of what was once was a wonderful life.  And quite rightly so.  Even though her life was troubled in more recent years with a failing marriage and struggles with drug addiction she should still be remembered for what was truly a beautiful voice.  In fact I have already read one beautiful tribute over At the Bottom of the Garden.  No tears have been shed here but it is always sad to hear of the passing of a life.  Especially one that involved such a beautiful voice, glamourous style and limited acting experience.  Though the roles she did take on were ones that suited her to a tee.

To be quite honest with you I can't even recall many of her numerous hits. The fact that I am not really much of a music buff or pay any attention to such things probably has something to do with this.As such I thought perhaps a quick trip to Google might a aid me in finding a few of Houston's more well known tracks. Looking through the Top 10 Whitney Houston Songs, apparently are The Biggest Hits of Whitney Houston's Career I found I know little to nothing of her music.

In fact out of the ten mentioned there were only three I could confidently say I knew. As such they are the ones I have decided to share with you today

Of course there is


Rightly so this was number one on the list. Which for the most part I don't mind, in fact there are parts that I even like however there are times when I feel it is all a bit much. Having said that though Whitney deserves to recognition for ability to strongly sustain such notes.


The next one I recognised was number five



A little before my times as a music lover but I have certainly heard it enough of the years to know it as such. What I didn't really realise until today though is that it was a Houston song. Of course there is a chance I have previously known this fact but as I mentioned earlier a music buff I am not so such information is rarely recorded in my memory department.

The last song that I could comfortably say I have heard before was number nine.



Out of all three this is by far my favourite. That possibly has something to do with my age. When this was released I was starting to pay more attention to music. I had discovered the many joys of Rage on Saturday mornings as I got ready for my hockey games. Oh life was simple then.

So that is my tribute to what was a very talented but troubled lady.  May she rest in peace and may her family, friends, loved ones and fans find comfort in knowing she has moved on to a better place.

Tuesday, February 7

Sometimes I Forget to Remember

Sometimes I forget to remember to breathe.  To take the time to stop and gather my thoughts.  To look at what is where and what needs to be done.

Sometimes I forget to remember that my children are only little and they need deserve the patience of a saint.  There is so much for them to learn, so much for them to know.  Societies accepted norms, trends, beliefs and expectations
    Sometimes I forget to remember that there are lots of people who love and care for me.  People who have stood by me for a very long time, despite my unintentional attempts at shutting them out.  As well as some newbies that have shown they are interested in the test of time.
      Sometimes I forget to remember that there was once a time when I wasn't a mother.  In fact I wasn't lots of things then that I am now.  Shy. Reserved.  Totally about to hit it big in the world of blogging. (I have always been full of confidence a dreamer)

      Sometimes I forget to remember that this is the life that I want to live.  It has all that I need and a whole lot more.  It has the potential to be what ever I want it to be.  I just need to put in the effort.

      Sometimes I forget to remember to tell those close to me just how special they are and what they mean to me.  The whole emotion thing gets a bit tricky for me at times.  I don't know why.  I can't help but wonder if that is why I the whole friend thing doesn't seem to work so well for me.  Life is not one sided.

      Sometimes I forget to remember to trust in the powers that be.  They have worked well for me in the past and I am sure they will continue to do so in the future, I just need to believe.

      Sometimes I forget to remember to ask for help when I need it.  Or take it when it is freely offered.  Accepting, or needing help is not a sign of weakness.  Help is a wonderful thing.  It makes things better for those being helped as well as leaving those offering with a rather good feeling.

      Sometimes I forget to remember just how much I know.  While I might not have a fancy degree I have actually spent quite a bit of time studying various subjects.  Stuff like sociology, marketing, accounting, psychology.  Stuff that is at times a little handy for this whole mothering gig.

      Sometimes I forget to remember just how much I don't know.  There is so much that I need to go and discover.  So much to learn, share and discover.  And this I must remember to never forget.


      Like all the cool bloggers I am linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT .

      Also doing a double whammy and joining in
      with the lovely Sif over at At the Bottom of the Garden Ten Things Tuesday