Friday, December 2

Things I Know - Friendships

image from here
The other week I went on a Blind Mummy Date.  Yep that's right I arranged to meet up with another mum who I had never ever met before.  We are part of an online baby wearing group that was brought together via Facebook.  Originally the date had been planned as a gathering for all group members but it turned out that only the two of us were actually able to make it.

Now I know that this may not sound like much of a big deal but for me it was.  In order to attend this blind mummy date I had to push myself past a few comfort zone.  You know stuff like actually getting out of the house by a set time and actually interacting with a complete stranger.  I even went so far as inviting another mum who I knew only online but unfortunately she was unable to come.

So after deciding what coloured tops to wear and who would have what so as to recognise each other we arranged the time and place and off we went.  As it turned out we had no problems working out who each other were, turns out we had chosen a rather quiet place and we were in fact the only people there.

Prior to actually arriving I was a little nervous about it all and wondered what on earth I had been thinking agreeing to something like this in the first place.  Within minutes though my fears were alleviated as my mummy date was warm, welcoming and a bit of a chatterbox.  Before long to the unknowing I am sure that we would have actually looked like rather close friends as the conversation flowed and awkward silences (my biggest fear) were no were to be seen.  In what seemed like not more than half an hour numerous coffees and delicious french toast and pancakes had been devoured and two hours had actually passed.

One of the many things we discussed was the topic of friendship.  My date, much like myself, felt that there were some serious holes in her friendship basket.  We both agreed that the whole term friendship left much open to debate.  For example at what point do you stop being an acquaintance and enter into the convent of friendship?  What are the different levels of friendship and how do you determine which one you are actually at?  What happens when one side sees the friendship as being more than what it is and how can you strengthen friendships with those who you feel a strong connection with?

On the whole I am not too sure how much I actually know about friendships as there have been many times in my life when I have felt more than alone.  I mean I know I have a wonderful husband, fantastic sister, loving brother and caring mother but they are not really the same as a friendship.  Sure they share some similar qualities but at the end of the day the fact still remains that they are different.

A friend is someone who you can turn to no matter what fate may bestow on you.  A friend comes free of judgement and loves you just the way you are. A friend is one who knows things, without you speaking a word.  They know just what to say and make can make it all seem just ok. A friend will stand right by your side, no matter what that may entail.

Of course to have a friend you must be a friend.

I know that I have had some wonderful friends over the years.
I know also that being my friend may not always be easy.  I am selfish, pre-occupied and quite often self absorbed.  This makes those people who are my real friends even more special.
I know that sometimes I find establishing friendships hard.  They take time, patience and effort.  All three I can be very short on at times.
I know  that I have always been a little jealous of the fact that my sister and her best friend have been that way since before they were ten years old.
I know that when I was ten years old I thought my bestie and I would be friends for ever.  We aren't even facebook buddies.
I know that thanks to the Internet friends now seem more abundant than ever before.